Do you have a child up to 5 years old? Share your questions for expert midwife and health visitor Claire Bailey - £200 voucher to be won

[CeriMumsnet]

Having children inevitably brings with it questions and worries. That’s why we’ve invited midwife and health visitor Claire Bailey to answer your questions on all aspects of your baby or child’s health and development.

• Everyone who shares a question on the thread below by 2 August will be entered into a prize draw.
• One lucky Mumsnet user will win a £200 voucher.
• Claire will then be back online to answer some of your questions.

About the expert Claire Bailey
A dual-qualified nurse, midwife & health visitor with three beautiful children of her own. Currently working as a health visitor, Claire loves working with families, supporting them and their babies through the good and the hard times.

Here’s what MAM has to say:
“We’re MAM and we love babies. We believe that only the best is good enough for them! That’s why for over 45 years we’ve been developing extra-safe baby products that combine attractive, innovative design with proven medical benefits. So, parents can feel confident, and babies feel good.”

Good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ
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Hello @NewMumQuestions , this is a great question that I do get asked often. As health professionals, we always look at the bigger picture, is your baby waking regularly for feeds? Breastfed babies generally wake every couple of hours and formula-fed babies can sleep for 4 hours at a time. Is your baby weeing and pooing regularly? Is your baby happy and healthy? If there are no concerns with your baby’s health and weight, if not then NHS’s general advice would be to be guided by your baby’s feeding cues. At this age, your baby who is formula fed, should be feeding around every 3-4 hours. Your baby who is formula-fed should be feeding around 6-8 times in a 24-hour period. Some babies will feed more during the day and sleep more at night, and vice versa. But always seek advice from your health visitor if you are ever worried about your baby.

Hello @AlanJohnsonsBeamer it can be scary when you first introduce solids to your baby. Your baby may not like food to start with and you may have to try different types of foods up to 10-14 times before your baby will even try it or put it in their mouth. Try not to worry about this stage as it is very normal for your baby to push food away. Remember that a good reaction from you will reinforce your baby’s brain with happy memories and the more you show positivity and smiling at your baby the more relaxed your baby will feel and one day they will go for it and try that broccoli.
It is very common for a baby to gag when starting to eat solid food. Therefore, it is an ideal time to eat together at mealtimes. Your baby may choke on hard foods offered such as raw carrots and apples or fruits with skin, grapes, or cherry tomatoes not sliced. Remember to cut all foods into small manageable pieces. Peel the skin off and cook hard vegetables to start. It is not recommended to leave your baby, to begin with on their own when they are trying new foods as they may gag slightly and need a little support around the amount they put in their mouth. A good position is sitting up in a highchair at a table with your family, not lying down. Your local family centre will be able to offer courses on intro to solids and this may help your confidence with your baby eating. But practice makes perfect and once you slowly introduce food that is slightly lumpy and then whole pieces, both of you will get used to this. Have a go, always speak to your local health visitor team if you need further support. Thank you.

Hi @Sleepybumble this is a very normal process children go through at this age, they are always too busy generally, but that is ok. This is when a gentle routine can help, maybe setting an alarm to remind them, or suggesting before every mealtime they go to the loo, this will implement a change in their routine. You can get a watch that is for children who are learning routines, and this can be set to remind the child they need to go to the toilet. You can always mention this to your child’s teacher, so they are aware to remind them also. Reward charts are also a good idea to help a child understand and remember what they need to do. Hope this helps. Please talk to your health visiting team for more information if you need it.

Hello @greenmarsupial thank you for your question, lots of parents come to me with concerns around milk intake be it formula or breastmilk when a baby goes to nursery. The simple answer is don’t worry. A baby will take what they need when it is offered to them. Some babies at this age do not like milk and don’t drink it at all anymore. It’s all about balance. If your child is eating a balanced diet and drinking water, then they will be getting what they need. If you offer breast milk morning and night and when you are with your baby, they will be getting the best of both worlds. If you are concerned with your baby’s intake pop along to a local clinic to weigh your baby and this will reassure you. Thank you I hope this helps.

Hi @Bellaphant thank you for your question. All children go through phases with what they like, and some children will stay with the same bland flavours they are used to. Toddlers are going through lots of changes and their taste buds are one of them, eventually, they will mature and will try new foods. At this point as long as they are growing, drinking, and are well in themselves, I wouldn’t worry too much about the amount they are eating. Children will eat little and often and this is very normal. Giving different foods to your toddler is the key for them to try new flavours. Try giving them different types of foods as it can take up to 10-14 times before your toddler will even try it or put it in their mouth. Try not to worry about this stage as it is very normal for your toddler to push food away and say no. Remember that a good reaction from you will reinforce your toddler’s brain development with happy memories and the more you show positivity and smiling at your toddler the more relaxed your baby will feel and one day, they will eat a variety of foods. If you have any concerns, please see your local health visitor for further advice. Thank you.

Hello @Wildflower2022 this sounds frustrating. I feel this is a phase and most children go through some kind of biting or hitting phase. (All three of mine did). It sounds like you are doing everything I would advise at the first instance, ignore the bad behaviour, and praise the good – this is a good strategy. Always put him down somewhere safe and walk away when he goes to bite you. Don’t react, don’t talk to him. He will soon learn that this is boring, and he will not get a reaction from you. He may also be teething and struggling with the pain, this also causes children discomfort, and they will try to bite to help with the pain. Babies at this age also find it difficult to communicate as this may also be the way he is telling you he is frustrated. I would seek further support from your local family centre and health visitor If you feel you need it, they may be able to help you and support your hard work so far. Thank you for your question today.

Hello @AwkwardPaws27, thank you for your interesting question. You could try feeding him earlier around 5pm so his food has been digested at bedtime, offer water at all mealtimes, and maybe going for a small walk before bedtime may also help digestion. Your child maybe has a slight intolerance to some foods, and this is causing him to have tummy pain at night. I would advise you to see your local health visitor or GP so they can carry out an assessment for you. Thank you for your question.

Hello @TinyBearCub thank you for the question, all children will potty train and be dry at night at different ages. Some children will not be dry at night until 10 years old. NHS advice would be to not restrict drinks. As long as your child is healthy and has not regressed in any way this is very normal. It is all to do with brain development and how the brain sends messages to the bladder to not wee in the night. Visit the website of the Children's Bowel and Bladder Society, ERIC, together. There are age-appropriate resources to help you. In the meantime, use waterproof covers for mattresses and duvets and use absorbent quilted sheets. A moisturising cream is useful to rub onto the skin that is likely to become wet, to prevent chaffing and soreness. Please visit your GP if you feel you need further support and you are worried at any point. Thank you.

Hello @Mumontherunn, thank you for your question, this is definitely a question I get regularly. Lots of mothers are concerned with this and that they would like to give up but are not sure if it will be the wrong decision. Only you as the mother can answer this. Your child will be getting all the nutrition they need now from food, but some mothers choose to breastfeed past the NHS-recommended timeline. I wouldn’t put any pressure on yourself. If you want to, then you could drop the morning feed first, which will mean offering breakfast instead earlier and a cup of water. Special times are not only made by feeding your child breastmilk, but you could also have a bedtime routine, read them a story, and have a cuddle before bed. There is no right or wrong time to stop breastfeeding your baby, but you can make this transition and still have special times with your children. This is just a transition to having a different special time. I hope this helps, please see your local health visitor for further support.

Hello @Wishingforthesunn, thank you for your query. I would start with implementing a bedtime routine that you both follow; you could do this together for a few weeks and then start by getting either you or Dad to implement it. Start by giving a bath and have a cuddle after. Read to your child and share quality time together. Keep the lights dim and low. Keep your voice low and talk as little as possible once you have put your child to bed. Always remember, that growth spurts, teething, and illnesses can all affect how your child sleeps. If you have concerns with your child’s sleeping pattern or need more advice about getting into a routine, speak to your local health visitor. Thank you.

Hi @MerlinsBeard87, this is a family’s choice if they send their child to nursery or preschool. Nurseries and preschools can play a vital role in the development and well-being of young children. They provide a safe and stimulating environment, These will be designed to encourage your child’s social, creative, communication, and listening skills, as well as physical development. Your child will have the chance to play and learn in a group. This can help them gain confidence and improve their social skills. But they can be expensive and with a large family or group of friends you can offer this type of learning and play from home. It is a choice and is not a requirement until they reach school age. You can always try one out to see if you and your child like it. Thanks for your question.

Hello @googledidnthelp, thank you for your question. Breastfeeding can go on until you want to stop and that can be once a day or all day, it’s a choice. You can introduce a routine, and this will help with the transition from feeding your child to offering them a snack or drink in a cup instead. It would be trial and error and just seeing what works for you and your child. Offering high-protein foods will help your child to sleep longer. Have a look a First Steps Nutrition for further information on this. Also, see your local health visitor for further support if needed. Thank you.

Hello @Wobblyheart This could be a phase your child is going through and they like the sensory part of this. Some children will play with toys and books and get into a habit of doing things like this. You could distract him and see if he prefers to play with something else. I would go and see a health visitor and ask for an assessment. They can assist you by seeing this behaviour and talking you through strategies. At 10 months all children receive a development check, and you could discuss this at this time. I hope this helps. Thank you.

Hi @5monthmama , NHS guidelines state that between 6-12 months a baby can go through the night without feeds. This is the recommended time when you can introduce solid food to your baby, and they will require less nutrition from milk from this time onwards. Please have a look at First Steps Nutrition, this website will help with food intake and how much to offer, and when. If your baby is eating well, they will learn to sleep more contently. A routine at this age will help you and your child to focus on relaxing and regular bedtimes. Growth spurts, teething, and illnesses can all affect how your baby sleeps. If you have concerns with your baby’s sleeping pattern or need more advice about getting into a routine, speak to your local health visitor. Thank you.

Hi @Wobblyheart , there are many different dummies and soothers you could try, how about finding something that he likes to hold and chew? This could be teething and your baby needing comfort from the grinding. Maybe try teethers and put these in the fridge to make them cool and soothing. You can also make your one milk lollies, and this also could soothe the area. But please see a health professional if you need any further support or an assessment. Thank you.

Hello @dreamcatchmee , Thank you for your question. Introducing a bottle to your baby can be frustrating at times especially when your baby refuses to drink from the bottle and pushes it away. Learning a new skill takes patience and effort so here are a few tips to help you and your baby to get used to feeding from a bottle. Try giving a bottle to your baby when they are not hungry- they can play with it and get used to the feeling of the teat in their mouth. Going out and letting your partner and family members feed the baby with a bottle can help. Using different positions, trying to hold your baby facing out to look around the room, or sitting propped up on your legs. Try moving around when feeding your baby – distract your baby while feeding them by gently bouncing or swaying may help your baby to take a bottle. Try different teat flows. Your baby may like the milk at various temperatures you can try it warm, room temperature, or cold. Try wrapping the bottle in a muslin or cloth that smells of you. Good luck.

Hi @fuckityfuckityfuckfuck I would suggest you ask your family centre or your health visitor team to have a nursery nurse team and they can support you with this. All children’s settings have a responsibility to the child and to offer the best possible conditions and learning environment to suit all abilities and needs. Please approach your school and see if they can make a care plan with you to support your child’s needs. It may be daunting but generally, all school settings are prepared for the concerns of any parent. Please speak to a local health visitor if you need further support.

Hi @Tired6789, there are two checks carried out by health visitors who are following the health child programme, this will be before the one-year birthday and after the 2-year birthday. Every area works slightly differently so I would contact your local health visiting team and ask them when your child’s one is due. Thank you.

Hello @Alloveragain3 , thank you for your question, all health visitors will have training around signs and symptoms of allergies. As a health professional, if we feel there is a concern, we will ask a family to see their GP or we can make a referral to a dietician. If you have any concerns, please see your local health visitor or GP. Thank you.

Hi @skkyelark, Recommendations by the NHS would be to see your GP if your baby still suffers with reflux after the age of one year old. Your local GP can make an assessment and plan with you to help you and your baby. Thank you for your question.

Hello @BreeTown I would contact your local family centre. They will be able to help you with this. They may have courses you can attend and these will assist you with your journey. There are many charities and support groups you can also access. These are different in every area so please contact your family centre for this information also. Thank you for your question.

Hello @MavisMcMinty well that’s a very interesting question. I was a qualified nurse when I had my children but not a midwife or health visitor at the time. I would say I wish I knew about colic and reflux. My children suffered really badly, and I felt If I knew what they were going through I could have supported them in a better way. The baby brain development information I know now has really helped me understand the growth pattern and the different stages of growth and development. I would also say to myself stop giving yourself such a hard time!! Breastfed or formula fed they all end up the same mouthy teenagers (HaHa), but seriously mental health and supporting yourself as a parent is really important. Understanding that most things are a phase, and they will grow out of it! Thank you for that great question, I’m sure I have plenty of other points but that’s what I’ve got today.

Hello @BonBon8493, From a very young age, your baby strengthens their muscles, slowly preparing to take their first steps. Between 9 and 12 months, they’ll pull themselves up. And between 8 and 18 months, they’ll walk for the first time.
Generally, a baby at 12 months will be able to
• Sits well and gets into a sitting position alone.
• Pulls to stand from a sitting position and can sit down again.
• Walks around furniture.
• May crawl or bottom shuffle.
• May stand alone.
At 18 months
• Walks well.
• Can walk upstairs holding an adult hand.
If by 18 months you have concerns, please see your GP. Thank you for your question.

Any advice on how to encourage a vegetable-refuser to eat them when they aren't blitzed/hidden in a sauce?!

Ah, thanks Claire! The reason I asked is that my sister is now a health visitor - previously an A&E nurse, not a midwife - whose youngest was a toddler when she trained, and when I asked her the same question ages ago, she said she wished she’d known how brilliant breast milk is, despite having BF all three of her children for up to 2 years! She felt at the time she was just choosing the easy, lazy option, in the face of a lot of opposition from her husband and in-laws, and had no idea of all its benefits while she was doing it.

Also, I’d’ve thought pregnancy and childbirth would be a LOT scarier as a midwife who knows everything that can go wrong?