Maybe I'm in a downer but I am finding being 'mum' all very challenging at moment. Having to be present emotionally, spiritually, physically.. it goes on. I care for my dad also and I feel each day I have to be a performing monkey for everyone, for them - not me. Sitting in the garden enjoying my coffee before it all kicks off again and I am seeing countless social media of people who are winning at life? Are they, really? The cost of living is so high I am now counting everything everywhere I go. My ex partner has cut my youngest Maint money due to his crics not being the same. I am now longer working because I help care for my dad. I guess I'm a little tired being available to everyone but myself and finding things pretty tiresome right now. I go back to uni post summer and I am worried sick I won't get a proper chance to commit to it with all my responsibilities, I had them before I applied obvs. It's maybe how I'm feeling I'm now becoming nervous post accepted application? I've struggled emotionally since having Covid. I had a thing called fibromyalgia and according to doctors have developed post Covid migraines brought by stress? Never had sore heads before and they're dragging me down. I'm I just on a downer? I know there is worse off, and I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm disheartened to say I feel very disconnected right now. I'm 40+ with three kids and a man child for a dad..
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