I’m done with breastfeeding

[TooSmallForTheMembrane]

DD is 2. I’ve done more than my fair share. I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding (or both) for the last 5 years.

DD has always been an ok-ish sleeper but recently has been waking in the early hours and being awake (and only wanting me/boobs and screaming bloody murder if DH takes over) for hours on end.

I want my body back and I want a full night’s sleep. It’s so hard because we live in a tiny house and she shares a room with DS who has some health issues and really needs his sleep as it is. No one gets more sleep when she co-sleeps either (least of all me).

I just want to stop completely, now. But I have no idea how we’ll get any sleep for the next week if I do that. I just can’t see a way out of this!

Can you and DS stay with a friend or family member while DH sleep trains?

How’s her understanding- could you cut down to one last one at bedtime then just water overnight do you reckon? I sympathise… and my children’s sleep definitely improved when I stopped feeding through the night. Being able to say “empty” or similar seemed to help, although obviously persevering those first few nights was tricky. Hope it goes well!

DS and I could potentially go and stay with my parents for the weekend but we’d only be able to go for a night or two as they’re too far from work/nursery etc. I don’t know if it would make that much of a difference. I’ve had weekends away before and she’s gone straight back to the same routine immediately after (I know, this is all my doing).

Her understanding is great. She’s just bloody stubborn.

I stopped breastfeeding my DD at 19 months old, she'd wake hourly for boob and scream and scream if her dad tried to rock her back to sleep instead, she fed all day long too and I had enough and was super touched out.

I posted on here saying how much I'd had enough and that night decided to stop and it went so much better than I expected so it might not be as bad as you think.

I kept telling her that milk was all gone but she could have cuddles and she led down and cuddled me instead (I do co sleep so might not be the same for you)

She woke up hourly still that first night but no tears and cuddled back to sleep every time then the night wake ups reduced and after a few nights she was down to 1-2 wake ups

I'd been putting it off for so long for fear or her screaming all night but it was fine

We replaced boob with bottle when my son was 18 months and it massively helped his sleep. It was a battle to get him to take a bottle, and he still has a bottle at bedtime now at 2.5, but he no longer wakes for milk

Can you give her something else to eat and drink when she wakes up? That’s what I did with my eldest and that got rid of the feed back to sleep/comfort part and then I stopped the food and then the drink.

I weaned DS2 at about this age as I had nursing aversion. I kept cutting him off before the end of the feed and delaying before I would start the feed and eventually that kind of met in the middle so he was only latched on for a few seconds, then I could just skip it altogether. It took a few weeks, it wasn't quick, but it did work even though he was very attached, wouldn't accept DH at night etc.

If she previously slept through and is now waking in the early hours (3/4? Or earlier?) It's possible it could be a growth spurt and she's hungry? Or is this always the way she has been at night?

I had to abruptly stop bf for medical reasons. Baby had never, ever taken a bottle and was as stubborn as anything. I just had to tell him my boobs were broken and couldn't do it any more. Matter of fact, end of. It helped that I was also VEEY MUCH DONE with the whole thing. They seemed to get it and it settled quite quickly.

I think dad took over the bedtimes for a few nights, offered a bottle of warm milk, which they bloody took after refusing all their life previously.

As you can tell I'm still quite bitter about the whole bf thing 😅

Little update (I hate threads that just end without resolution):

We’ve had no overnight feeds since Wednesday night. The first night she woke up once, was furious for about half an hour, and was awake for about an hour and a half but she did settle back to sleep!! We then had two nights where she slept through until 6ish!! Last night was a bit rough, as she was coughing (and farting!) all night. She woke at 11.30 for about half an hour, and then again at 4.30 , and refused to go back to sleep. Fingers crossed she’s back to good again tonight.