Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Telly addicts

Supernanny 17th august

50 replies

charliecat · 17/08/2005 21:21

Whos watching this?

OP posts:
jasper · 17/08/2005 23:51

interesting Charliecat.
dd aged 4 is as you describe. She is fine ( easily the most thoughtful of my 3) most of the time but sometimes it seems a switch has flicked in her brain and she flips. At these times she goes blue ( a bit worrying as awaiting heart surgery) but goes right back to normal after a wee while.

renaldo · 18/08/2005 09:21

I much prefer the little angels approach, finding a cause for the behaviour, speaking to each other with rspect etc. Suppernanny is too agressive and full on. And I would never have a nanny with such terrible diction minding my kids.
Ezzactly

EnidfromtheVILLAGE · 18/08/2005 09:24

I hated that programme. I thought it was totally wrong to blame the mum, the little girl needed serious help and the mum didn't deal with it too badly. I suspect serious editing too as the Supernanny approach didnt seem to help at all either.

janinlondon · 18/08/2005 09:50

Lucy5 I am with you on this - how did they get her to stay in there? Did they just edit out the hours and hours of dragging/carrying into the room kicking and screaming? The time spent trying to force the door shut when little fingers are clinging to the edge of it? The time where one adult stands on the other side of the door holding it shut while the child hurtles themself across the room as a human cannon ball trying to get out? And does that time still count in the time out? How would that achieve anything? If the struggle to put the child into a Reflection room takes literally hours, and requires me to bodily throw my child into a room in order to get the door closed and then locking her in while she screams manically would this still work? And what about the child who kicks up deliberately at times when you need to go out, or she has to go to bed (which is inevitably when it happens in our house)? Putting her in a reflection room would only achieve what she wants in the first place - not to leave the house on time, and not to go to bed? Or am I the only one in this situation? And as for star charts - don't get me started!

sandyballs · 18/08/2005 09:52

Renaldo . Nuffink, everyfink, .
She's scary. Wouldn't let her near my kids.

unicorn · 18/08/2005 10:15

she's just not asseptable is she?!

I worry that these programmes are beginning to look for more and more extreme examples (to keep the 'entertainment'/shock factor up)and then (just so as it is neatly sorted at the end)completely simplify everything to fit into the allotted hour.

Wasn't one of the Mn'tters visited by Supernanny?
Would be interesting to see how things are now.

frogs · 18/08/2005 10:32

I don't think the girl was psychologically disturbed. She had (a) been taught to shout by the fact that Mum was constantly losing it; (b) been allowed to get away with her behaviour -- clearly the words "Don't you talk to me like that, Madam" had never passed the mother's lips; and (c) hadn't been given enough incentive and encouragement to start regarding herself as a more grown-up sort of creature.

I think the girl's behaviour was extreme, but then again she was being treated like a toddler. My 10yo dd1 could pretty much run the household by herself. Not that she has to, you understand, but she is perfectly capable of carrying out everyday household and babycare tasks including running washing machine, basic cooking and changing nappies (wet only). And the payoff is that in return she gets to stay up later than the others, watch a bit more telly, and go out by herself, to the shops, to school and to sports club.

I know quite a few 10yo girls who do behave like spoilt brats, and it seems to be pretty directly linked to the parents being both indulgent and protective, while having quite low expectations of how children can reasonably be expected to behave. The ones who are nicest to be with are those who have learnt that the more responsible they are, the more rights and privileges they get.

puff · 18/08/2005 10:35

janinlondon - I was saying exactly the same thing to dh when we were watching it!

sandyballs · 18/08/2005 10:51

Interesting Frogs. I've no experience of 9 year olds, only 4 year olds. My DH said he thought she seemed very young.

frogs · 18/08/2005 11:05

Well, there you go, sandyballs. Start your 4yo off scrubbing the floor now, and you won't have any trouble in the teenage years.

But actually, I do think household chores are a useful tool in bringing up kids. My ds could empty the dishwasher and put stuff away at the age of 4 (sharp knives removed first). I won't say he always does it gladly, but he knows it needs doing and that the housework fairy isn't going to pitch in any time soon. Plus he's worked out that I'm less likely to turn into evil grumpy Mummy from hell if I don't have to do everything myself. Which is at least a step on the road to learning consideration for others.

basketcase · 18/08/2005 11:12

I think it must take a lot of guts and humility to be prepared to go on that show - maybe a dash of madness too
Those parents were clearly intelligent and must have been aware that the family would be criticised by many watching it. Imagine being known in your local neighbourhood as "that family with the psycho child who went on supernanny because they couldn?t cope" ??
It is easy to make judements - should the child be receiving psychological help or is the mother really a very aggressive person who is emotionally reactive?? who knows? the editors had to squeeze it into a nice time slot and could have twisted it with/without meaning to..

whatever, I did feel very sorry for the family as they were going through a really tough time. My DD1 can be very defiant at times and it has made me wonder whether her tantrums and defiance could be partly/all our fault? certainly made us quesiton our behaviour which is prob a good thing...

vickiyumyum · 18/08/2005 11:47

Hattie, twinset and frogs, i have to agree with you! my ds1 is 8 and on the days where i can't be bothered for the fuss that naughty steps, rooms etc entail, our arguments can escalate into us screaming at each other, he has never hit, bit or scratched me, but he has hit his brother in similar situations to the ones shown on supernanny e.g when his brother won't do as he tells him to (ds2 is only 3).

I have learnt form experience that if i don't want a full scale screaming match with my 8yo i need to stay calm as well, not argue with him, warn him once and carry out my threat e.g whenwe get home you will got to your bedroom for 8 minutes to think about your behaviour. and i then expect a proper sorry and his behaviour to have changed.

consistancy is the key, keep your punishments constant, alwways use the naughty step, takeing away something that they love e'g no play station for a day (that gets my ds1 every time) and always carry out your threats if you warn them then the nixt time it happens do what you have said you will do.

this girl was not psychologically disturbed, just naughty as children can be, and the people that are so shocked at her behaviour have probably just got childrn who behave naughtily in other ways or you have a much more consistant way of punishing bad behaviour.

since i became much more consitant in our punishments i have anoticed a marked improvement in teh behaviour of my 2, wheras before i did used to wonder if ds1 had something worng with him, now i realise it was my fault!

janinlondon · 18/08/2005 11:56

But Vickyumyum you have to FIND a punishment that works first. And that's where I am completely lost!

TwinSetAndPearls · 18/08/2005 14:19

I am actually very worried if little girls behave like the girl from Supernanny, infact I am more than worried I am downright scared.

What happened to growing out of tantrums?? I can remember my dd being clingy and crying leaving me unable to do anything, everyone said don't worry she will grow out of it. Then came the terrible twos, again everyone said she will grow out of it. Then when the tantrums were happening at three I was told, ooh terrible twos are nothing it is the three year olds that are hard, but don't worry she will grow out of it. But now I keep hearing about demanding tweenies and all these six year old girls making there mothers lives hell. When will it end??

I will put my hand up and admit i didn't get pregnant to have a baby, babies just don't do it for me. I love children, especially older ones. So when i am having a difficult time with dd I remind myself that the baby/toddler phase was always going to be challenging for me. But after watching Supernanny and listening to mumsnetters say their daughter behaves in a similar way I am worried!

TwinSetAndPearls · 18/08/2005 14:22

JaininLondon the punishment that works for me is
"If you do that agin I will choose one of your toys and put it in the loft. Every time you step out of line I will put another one there,a nd if you end up with no toys that will be your own fault."

She can only earn toys back by being good.

This used alongside a good girl book and sticker chart seems to work.

WE do suffer from full on tantrums though, I then just place her in a room until she has calmed down and try not to raise my voice or it escalates into WW3. Not easy though.

frogs · 18/08/2005 17:20

Janinlondon, it might help to think in terms of consequences rather than punishment. Don't like the word 'punishment' myself, there's something of Wackford Squeers about it. Whereas a consequence arises naturally from the child's choice to behave in a particular way.

In our house messing about at bedtime would get the warning, "If you don't get into your pyjamas quickly, there won't be time for a bedtime story" or conversely, "If you get ready for bed quickly we might have time for two chapters of Matilda." Messing around when we need to do something means, eg. there won't be time for (insert treat of your choice here). I have very occasionally (I think once for each child) let them go to school without breakfast -- not as a punishment, but simply because they refused to come when called at breakfast time, and by the time they came down, breakfast was over. They got the message pretty quickly.

The other thing I was told by a older, wiser mother, when my dd1 was tiny was never to threaten with, "I'll do x", but to make it impersonal. So instead of , "If you do X again, I'll take your playstation away" you say, "If you do that again, your playstation will have to go away." It sound like a minor difference, but makes it seem as if the consequence arises from the laws of nature rather than from action that you are choosing to take. It makes it less likely that you will end up in a pointless slanging match like the mother on Supernanny.

I kind of agree about the naughty step. I do use it occasionally to remove a child from a particular situation -- generally ostentatious bad behaviour at the table, or deliberate nastiness to someone else. The message is: "We don't want to be with you if you behave like that." The special room thing, and counting the no. of minutes as practised on Supernanny, little Angels etc. seems a bit forced for me. And I'm not organised enough for star charts.

vickiyumyum · 18/08/2005 17:24

finding a 'punishment' (don't like the word either but can't think of another right now) that works is the key to success i have found. with ds2 who is 3 it is if you do xxxxx again then you will go to the naughty step as he can't bear of thinking of himself as naughty! but with ds1 who is 8 it is more a case of if you do xxxxx again you will not bea llowed to play on the playstation, you will not go to karate, swimming etc etc, so with ds1 it is actually to take something away from him that he enjoys whereas ds2 likes to be a good boy and not a naughty boy!
it really is a case of what works best for each individual child and trying not to resort to a slanging match with an 8 yo, 3 yo or whatever age of children you have.

i'm not saying that this works all of the time but for the majority of the time it works, i find as long as i stick to my word and don't give in because its easier.

unicorn · 18/08/2005 18:35

janiL.. think we have 'spoken' before about this haven't we... dd never seems bothered by the 'consequences/punishments' either.

Still haven't cracked that one, and she can be sooooooo defiant- I could understand the despair of that woman last night.

The difference being, my dd would not stay in the 'reflection' room like Megan did.

MaryP0p1 · 18/08/2005 18:46

I saw Supernanny about six months ago with a family that used the nursery I used to work for. I am really interested to see this episode and see the whole picture as opposite to the behaviour we saw during nursery session time. I am not entirely sure that I will see the whole picture or just the picture that channel four decided to show me.

I won't, unfortunately see the episode because we have moved abroad but maybe I'll ask a friend to tap it for me.

nutcracker · 18/08/2005 19:13

I have to say I love supernanny and would love her to come sort my kids out.

I did feel though that she was slightly out of her depth in last nights show.

compo · 18/08/2005 19:24

does anyone know if this is repeated on ITV2 at all?

LilacLotus · 18/08/2005 19:31

it's a channel 4 show. but it doesn't seem to be repeated on e4 in the next two weeks.

janinlondon · 19/08/2005 09:13

Unicorn, yes we have. (I was the one who's DD removed our toothbrush heads as a punishment for hurting her feelings!) We still haven't cracked it either. I can imagine being told by DD that I had to go into the reflection room for as many minutes as I am old (now that would take some getting out of!!!), so there's no way I'm going there!

FairyMum · 19/08/2005 09:30

JaninLondon, my children would never voluntarily sit on a naughty step either. I was once told to go and sit there myself.Kind of saw their point to tbh.....Sometimes both parents and children have to apologise, have a cuddle and start over again.

janinlondon · 19/08/2005 10:41

Exactly Fairymum! I know of another MN Mum who's child made HER a star chart. There is a breed of children for whom standard discipline just isn't useful. Sounds like we both have those ones.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread