Too Old to be a Mum

[MollieO]

Anyone watching?

I think the woman in her late 50's is very selfish to be considering getting pregnant when she has so many health problems. The chances are because of her age her problems are likely to get worse and the pregnancy will probably exacerbate her problems. The only positive is that her daughter will have a sibling which will be a huge comfort in years to come.

I disagree with Juneybean I don't think that every woman has a right to have children. I think that women below the age of 50 who are infertile should be supported in their quest for children and should be able to go through IVF either using their own eggs or donor eggs if necessary. My view is that once you get to 50 you have to accept that if it hasn't happened it isn't going to happen and focus on other things. Whilst I have every sympathy for the indian couple who were infertile, it must have been difficult living in a community where infertility is such a taboo subject I think it is wrong for them to have been allowed to go through IVF.

Is it wrong for people with severe disabilities to have children, or go down the IVF route? The thing is once you start opinioning on what is correct or not in terms of age then it becomes quite complex.

Many kids of older mothers may have difficulties but many won't just as the kids of drug addicted or alchol dependent mothers might have a rough life or not. If I was a child I might prefer an older mother to a young one who was violent, drunk etc.

It's very complicated.

The problem in society now is that everyone wants what they want NOW, when they decide they want it. There is no patience or mechanism to accept when they don't get what they want. I didn't see the programme, so can't comment on the case.

It's complicated.

I am 67 and no don't worry I don't want a baby! I have 3 grown sons and 5 grandchildren. I saw the programme and just think these "older mothers" are satisfying their own need for children, but are putting their needs before the needsof the children. I just think that is selfish. The will almost certainly leave the children motherless many many years prematurely. As for the woman who wants another baby and has all these health problems now ,well words fail me.

I don't agree with whoever said all women have the right to have a child. I think all children have the right to a happy and carefree childhood with mothers who are of a suitable age (say under 45) and are healthy enough to be able to give them proper care throughout their childhood and remain a support to them in adulthood and when they themselves become parents

You're not wrong NanaNina but what I was trying to say is that once you start saying who can and can't have babies you start straying into increasingly dodgy territory. There are things to be said for a sensible older woman having a child, despite the obvious risks in comparision to women with mental health problems, drug problems, in abusive relationships etc.

It would be great if all kids were born into happy, stable homes with mothers who would see them through to their adulthood. Unfortunately life isn't like that. I just think it's unfair that older women get called selfish for wanting a child when age can be a less difficult factor in comparision to some of the things I mentioned.

I don't necessarily think it's right that they are having kids in their 60s, just that to me, it's no worse than some crack addicted woman having a stream of kids who end up in care, or worse.

fifitot. Yes I also would rather have a loving caring mother in her 60's than a young crack addicted mother with kids in care. But the two aren't comparable are they? The issue is whether it is moral or ethical to allow a woman in her 60's to go through IVF when the average age of those going through the menopause is 51. It is a well known fact that the incidence of health problems and medical complications rise after the age of the menopause and that has to be taken into account.

Should a young crack addicted woman who already has children in care be allowed to have IVF? In my opinion - no and I think it unlikely that she would be allowed to. If she decided to get pregnant naturally she obviously has the right to do so but she wouldn't automatically be allowed to care for her child, the family courts may decide it is within the childs interests to place her in care.

I don't think that having an upper age limit discriminates against younger disabled women. Disability isn't necessarily a barrier to having children.

Disability isn't a barrier to having kids but some women with disabilities have lower life expectancy than some without. Should we stop them having kids?

I'm not saying I necessarily agree with women over 50 or whatever having IVF, just that it's very easy to make judgements when there are other situations that throw up their own complex issues.

I think it would depend on the circumstances fifitot and I am sure that these things are taken into account when assessing someones suitability for IVF. Most disabilities aren't life limiting.

People seem much more reluctant to condemn people with life-contracting disabilities for having children than they are to condemn older women for doing the same.