X factor 28th November-Take That Elton John!

[BrigitBigKnickers]

Here's tonight's play list!
It's Elton John and Take That, night

Stacey-
Something about the way you look tonight- Elton John
Rule the world-Take that

Joe-
Sorry seems to be the hardest word- Elton John

Could it be magic- Take That

Lloyd
I?m still standing (very apt!)- Elton John

Million Love Songs- Take that

Danyl-
Your song- Elton John

Relight my fire- Take That

Olly-
Saturday night?s alright for fighting- Elton John

Love ain?t here anymore- Take That

Sounds like we're in for a bit of a marathon- Wine, take away and (if last week's performances are anything to go by)ear plugs at the ready!

God all Joe's dancers looked much older than they were all caked in slap much like Sarah Harding.

Katz, he does look like JB

Did anyone see my cock joke from last night? Shall I share?

Raahh - your right, he should have auditioned for one of the BBC shows.

Are Dannii's breasts wet? Or a bit thrushy? Just trying to work out why she's airing them so comprehensively on live television.

I can't hear the music. DD (2.6) is singing Christmas songs. I wish he would get stuck up a bloody chimney right now.

herbie I do - I do! (on behalf of dd)

A doctor yet! Wonderful

Awww, Jedward in the competition bit.

I am missing them tonight, it's just no fun without them

Good, Mme Lindt - it's been on my mind.

I'm actually starting to quite like Joe now. I know he's not really spectacular, but he's got something, and I just like him an awful lot more than twatty Danyl (can hardly bear to spell it), slightly dull Olly and jailbait Lloyd. Guess I'm pinning my Stacey colours to the mast, then.

I LOVED your cock joke BoF. I texted it to my MIL...

next week is bono week!!!

cock joke, please!

Right, at the risk of repetition, seeing as it's the ads...

A man has a terrible accident with some machinery and, tragically, gets his cock cut off.

He sees a consultant who reassures him that a prosthetic alternative can transform the situation, and spells out his options...there's the NHS model, your basic four inches, but free. Then there's the Premier version, which is eight inches, but costs a thousand pounds. And then there is the Super Deluxe version, which is twelve inches, a vibrating function, and it also spins 360 degrees. It costs five grand though.

The consultant lets him go out into the lobby to discuss it with his wife, who says that the NHS one would be fine by her. "Listen love," says the man, "I've got some money put aside, and there are a couple of policies I can cash in that I haven't told you about, so I'm thinking we can afford to push the boat out a bit here..."

Ten minutes later, the man goes back into the consulting room, and the doctor asks him what he is going to go for.

"NHS please, doctor- we're getting a new kitchen."

If bono is on my television I will put my dr marten firmly through it. Or blag a ticket to the actual show and throw things, possibly large things at his god-complexed ego until he lies down and never, ever sings/talks/appears in public again, the jumped up, talentless little tit.

have you written to jimmy saville with that request!!!!!!!

Bono is boffing one of the Corrs in secret, is he not?

I wonder if he takes his glasses off...

BoF- brilliant

but only if you bury frank lampard jnr

lol BOF

Won't bother telling DH that one. He will sulk and say 'womens joke'

Stacey - Breaaaaaaaaaaaaath

Awww Jimmy saville....

I wrote to him to meet the Bay City Rollers. I was about 4.

i never got to meet the lovely Leslie

Andrea Corr I read on here.

No Bono!

Bog, rofl @ joke