Things you will never hear on EastEnders...

[madlentileater]

...oh, thanks, I'd love to come but I can't, have to look after the kids...

'what a waste of licence fee payers money?'

'Walford's pretty shit really. Why don't we move to Brighton, they've got a banging club scene and we could finally get some fashionable clothes.'

Pat-
Hmm....I think these earrings may be a bit much, what do you think?

'I am so happy and content with my life'

"I don't really have that much to do with my neighbours. All my best friends live across town."

"Do you know, having listened to those points you have made I think I must alter my original view and conceed that you were right and I was being unreasonable.."

oh no. we've run out of washing powder and tea bags. best go Tesco.

'What ho, chaps!'

Your daughter got into Cambridge!
Congratulations, you must be so proud of her!

"Have you read the new McEwan?"

"There's a great new production of Lear on at the Garrick. Thought we might get tickets."

"This article in the Guardian about organic food is really interesting."

'No thanks, I don't think I'll work on the stall after I finish my A levels. I was planning on Uni and then maybe going into Accountancy, HR or something.'

happy 3rd anniversary darling.

So after the ceremony lets treat ourselves and meet for drinks somewhere really special.

"Oh, the Vic. I've never really been in there. It's a bit of a 'locals'' pub. I prefer the Cock and Feathers up the road."

"Shut up Tracey. You never let anyone get a word in"

Feck orf

(they never swear do they???)

"Oh isn't it lovely how we can all sit down to a nice big family lunch together, without killing eachother or finding out another inbred love child may or may not have been conceieved behind the bar or in the Arches"

"I'm really glad that we have got married, settled down and are bringing our beautiful babies into a world so full of love"

just off to get the daily mail [boak emoticon]

'sshhh Eastenders is on'

'can you stick a load of washing in the machine love then make me a cuppa..ooops we don't a washer do we, come to think of no one does on the square '

"Didn't you used to be on The Bill?"

"You know how I said I'd sort it? Sorry..."

'What time's the next bus/tube?' (they seem to go everywhere by taxi).

'I work in town, like most other people round here'.

'Oh it was a lovely wedding - small, quiet, just a few friends and family'.

"Oh you've got something really important to tell me? Ok, let's go somewhere quiet and I'll listen to every word and I promise I won't stop you before you've said it so I won't misunderstand you."

"Just going to get a bottle of wine from the off-licence."