Has anyone just finished watching 'The Fallen' on BBC2?

[Countingthegreyhairs]

I don't usually post about this sort of thing but ....

I think it was quite the most poignant and harrowing (and brilliantly put together) documentary I have ever watched. At the same time, it was a fitting tribute to all those lost young men (and women). All those poor, poor families ...

Yes I watched it. It was hard to follow who they were talking about though, but it was nice that each and every one was named etc. The difference inhow people coped was vast, wasn't it?

Yes, that's what I was impressed by too, MostlyReindeer - by recording the different reactions of each family, and by recounting the last days of their children, they made the soldiers "human" - not just statistics in a newspaper ...

... can't sleep as it was one of the most thought-provoking programmes I think I have ever watched

I watched it too. It was very moving and really brings home the human cost of war. It really showed what a painful thing it is to lose a son or daughter when they are so young and in such harrowing circumstances.
Especially harrowing to watch the young girl whose dad hung himself, she is not processing his death at all. I hope she can get some help to deal with it all.

Yes agree so much about that girl, Cathcat, and the sad thing is that (I have four cousins in the forces, one in Iraq, one in Afghanisatan and two who have just come out)that the support for families is very patchy, in some cases non-existent, as it is for injured soldiers or those who suffer from PTSD or similar mental illnesses.

And the burden of guilt some of those parents felt was painful to watch ...

I watched it and taped for DH to watch this morning, we both had tears running down our faces. DH was in army for 24 yrs and lost a close friend out in Iraq, he was v touched by it and had to go upstairs after watching it this morning.

We watched too, although will watch the other half tonight. I found the grief at times to be almost overwhelming

I thought it was a very good programme and really brought home that these are 'real' people with families and lives, not just names that the news programmes reel off one after another.

I agree cathcat about that young girl, she seems in a lot of pain

The lady who wished she had told her son how proud she was of him had me and dh in floods of tears, i hope she finds someway to have peace.

And that little girl ' a naughty man put a bomb under daddy's car'

Heart wrenching tv

oh yes GobinValley, the little girl (the one sitting on the bunk bed) talking about her late father being in heaven eating crispy duck ... so very sad... as you say, overwhelmingly so

RubyRubyRedMist - I couldn't agree more with you about the sacrifices made by conscripted troops in the two world wars but believe me, the financial and emotional help received by families nowadays is not always that great

• and although I understand what you mean about them choosing to join up, as the programme illustrated, the average rifleman comes from a broken home, lives on a sink estate, has usually got into trouble with the law a couple of times, and has a reading age of a 13 or 14 yr old. In those circumstances, the army is one of the few employment options available ....

On the other side, it was interesting that the two soldiers in the programme who lost their brothers would choose to return to combat .... now that takes courage

Overall, I think the reason it disturbed me so much is the thought of all those families living with that degree of sadness, year after year after year ... and they will be doing so long after the troops are pulled out ...

Countingthegreyhairs, an extremely well put together and fantastic production, a wonderful tribute to our Service men and women.

There should have been a "you will need a whole box, and mansize at that, of tissues throughout this programme"

The family that were drinking themselves into oblivion, the man who lost his twin, and was still prepared to go back because he's still in greens and therefore he will go where he is sent, the family who watched their surviving son on a medal parade.

I would not normally watch a programme like this knowing full well what lay ahead but it was so good I was glued.

Yes, you are right RubyRedMist (sorry - I misunderstood your point ) however awful it is nowadays, I hope and pray it could never be as bad the conditions faced by those lads in the trenches. It DOES make you think much more about it ....

Oh yes VaginaShmergina - I nearly turned off the TV when it showed the parents who were drinking, I felt so badly for them, I almost couldn't bear it: he father trying to blot out the guilt about signing the papers, knowing his son was going to have to fight .... what hope is there for them now?

I couldn't sleep for a good while afterwards, just the last shots of the wall all blank, knowing over time it will get filled up The poor mother having the last minutes of her sons life on film, every time she watched it she wanted a different end . It wasn't , what do you call it - sensationalist? either. I do wish they didn't show the footage of the man in the coffin though, but I guess it was late.

It was so tragic wasn't it, and the parents where the dad had encouraged his boys to go into the army too. I did notice alot of those boys, if they had not of signed up they would have ended up in trouble to one degree or another.

The Army seems to rescue them in a way don't you think ? I have heard many old men in my business say "Bring back National Service" and I'm inclined to think they have a very valid point, but I'm sure that's another thread altogether.

Thank you for starting this thread, a worthwhile one too.

PS I cried when they tipped a million Poppys onto the QE2 before she left port for the last time, that's how much of a blubber guts I am.

The soldier in the coffin was a bit shocking to say the least but I guess that is part of the Fujiian culture, not nice if you have not seen a dead body before either. Very real for the family and friends around the coffin though

Yes, it's so rare to see a documentary on this sort of subject that isn't sensationalist nowadays... and in fact it was more powerful for it ...

Another blubber guts here ....

Forgot to say Mostly Reindeer - agree with you that the shots of the memorial wall being filled up with names at the end were stunning - from a purely film-making pov it must have been so difficult to find an appropriate and respectful ending to follow all that had gone before - and that was just perfect

The film is still "with me" today - usually I watch something and forget it within 3 mins - still remembering bits throughout the day, such as the parents who have continued to buy their late son his Christmas presents ...

Was it a repeat? I wasn't sure why it was BBC2 and clashed with (I think) Charles' birthday thingy.

just checked BBC website and it doesn't say if it was a repeat or not ...

... if it was it's first showing I'm surprised that it was placed in such an obscure scheduling corner ....

every teenager in the country should have to watch it as part of the national curriculum!

Countingthegreyhairs are you one of those "National Service wouldn't hurt the buggers " ?

I agree though, I also think teenagers should be shown other stuff, but again, that's another thread........

This is the link to watch it on the BBC iplayer

It was a stunning film ... I found parts of it too emotional to continue watching... the photograph ..he's dead, he's dead, he's injured, he's alive, he's dead...etc and as has already been mentioned ..the young girls who have lost their father to suicide.

I agree with everyone that it should have a broader viewing, because it depicted love, life, hatred, death and hope ...

Lest they forget

heart breaking

heavens no Vagina (how can I be calling someone that as a nickname? - only on Mmsnet )

I confess to having fleeting moments of thinking "if we had to call people up to fight today, would they respond as selflessly, courageously, effectively, as they did in the past" (myself included as I women would be on the front line too) and I confess to having doubts on that score

but I don't think national service is the answer

as daffodil6 says, it's more about "lest we forget"

I think every child should be made to go to Ypres to look at the war graves too

• people have such short memories ...