Big Brother ITV2 - Thread 4

[TellingBone]

Carry on Alarming

That tickled me. She's so cute! 😆 She's got her own little catchphrase now!

Reminds me of Helen from BB 2001, with her 'I love blinking I do!' and Jade from BB 2002 with 'am I minging?'

Also agree that the 'telling off' that Big Brother gave Omar was absolutely pathetic. They never even mentioned what he was being told off for!!! They needed to tell him that his toxic, controlling behaviour against Rhianna has to stop, or he's out.

I do believe he wouldn't have recognised it or acknowledged his behaviour, but it may have given him something to think about. Also strange that he asked Rhianna if she feels like he 'controls' her, because we didn't hear BB say that in the diary room.

Pretty frustrating though, that Rhianna said she doesn't feel controlled by him, and that he's basically done nothing wrong! That's the thing when women are on the receiving end of controlling and coercive and manipulative behaviour, they can't always see it's happening

Yes, and I don’t know why people buy into that framing. They’re only the king and queen of their clan, just as Twinks is queen of the other clan, Pauline was before her, and Johanna before that. If the members of the latter clan had been less fucking annoying and therefore attracted fewer votes between themselves, they would have maintained numbers. But Twinks immediately framed it as a hierarchy with her at the bottom, which is just a feature of her left wing identity politics.

I don’t know anything about Russell but Rochelle doesn’t come across as someone accustomed to tough love.

They would lose their own 'extra' 30 seconds that they earn for wearing the cuffs

Rhianna does seem to have a selective memory. Does she not remember him kicking off and telling her he didn't make her cry? Denying clear facts and making her doubt herself.

I think BB said a lot to him that we didn't see. BB must have talked to him about controlling behaviour.

I must admit that I want to see the whole convo between Rochelle and Russell because I want to find out about her sons. Are they all non contact with her? Will she ask about them? Will any of them be there? I neeeed to know!!!

I'm pretty sure they only showed a tiny part of the conversation from the diary room. I hope that it makes him stop and think, at least. I'm not condoning his behaviour obviously, but he is a young Muslim and maybe still figuring things out, eg how to behave in a relationship. Who knows what examples he's had from the males in his family? Like I say, I'm not condoning his attitudes and behaviour, I'm just hoping he will change after this.

He already knew his behaviour was shitty when he went into the diary room before his telling off and called himself names and asked BB if he was toxic.

I took that to be indicative of previous unaired verbal warnings.

I don’t think he did, I think that was a response to what BB said that we didn’t see. The edit is trying to make him look ‘aware’ so ITV don’t have to take any responsibility over allowing this shit.

It's obvious BB said a lot more than was shown but honestly I don't mind that we saw an edited version of that. I don't think we need to see everything that was said in the diary room. We know it was talked about. So hopefully he can think about it now

Yep. Let’s now wait for the “Omar Redemption Arc”.

It strikes me that Omar, despite whatever BB said, still doesn't get it. Look at what he did immediately after the diary room.

1: Isolated Rhianna
2: Said, 'Am I controlling?'

This in itself is continuing the emotional abuse. Rhianna has no one to support her. She's in a cycle where she's in appeasement mode and doesn't want to cause his displeasure again. She's also aware thousands of people are watching. What else can she answer but 'No'? And he knew that.

In one way I'm glad this sort of behaviour is being highlighted because it just might make some people look at themselves and realise what they do - because I truly believe that a lot of them simply don't even think about it.

I think he went to the diary room earlier on in the day and said this, before BB called him in later.

Rhianna is confused because he didn't respond like a normal person when she first asked him why he was being weird. He gaslighted her.

And now she doesn't know if she's imagining it as her close friends in the house, Lynx and Yas, don't seem to think he's done anything wrong.

She is acutely aware that it's all being broadcast and she doesn't want to come across as a woman making false accusations against a man.

Look how normally Omar was able to talk to BB. He used normal language and was coherent. It's all an act with him. He could have talked to Rhianna like that in the first place but he didn't because he wanted to manipulate her.

Yes he's quite clever, like most manipulators. His way of showing his displeasure initially [when R used a wheedling tone to Lynx] was to withdraw affection; to go sit elsewhere when normally they'd be entwined. He can justify that to himself by saying [and he's actually said it twice] 'I didn't shout. I didn't hit her'. All other methods are okay by him apparently.

Agree with all of this. To me, she has gone out of her way to divide the group & get people on her side & actively against Rochelle & Philip (I’m not saying they’re not horrible but focusing on Twinks’ actions here)

I’ve also noticed he’s perfectly capable of having an intelligent and equal conversation with Twinks - such as their hot tub chats - and seems far more comfortable with her too. I think it’s the whole relationship aspect with Rhianna. He calls her immature but has shown himself to be just that when dealing with a relationship. (As well as controlling, etc.)

I think Omar has been awful and definitely displaying borderline toxic behaviours. Unacceptable.

However, he’s very young and we don’t know much about his life outside the house. He may not have not have witnessed healthy relationships growing, up or had positive male role models around him. He may have women in his life who tolerated or even normalised patriarchal attitudes.

He may also have been exposed to males spouting Tate-like views and this has warped his attitude and behaviours.

I feel (a tiny bit) sorry for him. In the real world he would have had the opportunity to grow and learn in relationships but this has all played out on television and will probably follow him around for the rest of his life.

I could be way off and he’s just a nasty, jumped up little gobshite. But, he’s probably in for a very rude awakening when he leaves the house. I just hope it doesn’t make him angry and escalate his behaviours.

We’re all a bit daft when we start out in life. I was always a bit moody and self absorbed in relationships my early 20s. Insecurity and self doubt probably contributed to me being difficult, demanding, and dare I say it, a bit jealous and possessive.

I didn’t have positive relationships in my childhood (70s and 80s) to learn from. Far from it in fact.

But, I grew up and learned how to behave and treat people with kindness and respect. This led to more positive and healthy relationships as an adult. I’m lucky that I was never on TV being an arse. I think had I been, the fall out would have seriously impacted on my mental health.

It’s a cruel way for him to learn how not to behave. Maybe they shouldn’t have house mates under the age of 25.

To be fair to Twinks - can’t believe I’m saying that but I’ve grown to like her! - she absolutely wanted to take off the cuffs and would have done, but Sam convinced her not to because he wanted the time to speak with his mum. Maybe they didn’t get extra for completing task, but were going to lose time if they failed/gave in.

I fully believe Twinks would’ve followed through and taken them off in front of horrible Rochelle.

I agree with all of that @Peachmelba4444 . Right down to myself behaving quite probably like a controlling, jealous arse because I had a shitty childhood. But I’ve changed so much and learnt so much.

To have all this play out on tv is so much more difficult because it does follow you and people get whipped into a kind of mass hysteria about any transgression.

I hope they’re both able to learn from this and move on positively when they leave the house.

Twink is absolutely loving the cameras and the higher power she feels she has with her group . She is highly astute and knows she is making good camera time . Watching as she put on the handcuffs she knew the cameras would follow her and being " the better person " by allowing horrible Rochelle her 30 seconds . She's queening it her way to antagonise Rochelle ( which is making good tv ) I do find Twinks annoying loud and full of herself and would have to shy away from her energy . I have to say I honestly don't have a winner , most certainly NOT Phillip ( awful man ) definitely NOT Rochelle . I do think some of them will have problems in the outside world when this BB episode becomes history

If Rhianna was not stuck in the fog and able to think clearly or fearful of discard, when Omar asked if she thought his behaviour was controlling she could have said that certain acts were concerning and given examples - there have been plenty in a short time.

Instead she basically said you can’t be controlling because I am strong and independent and would not allow myself to be controlled. Perpetuating the myth that only weak women find themselves in abusive dynamics and absolving him of responsibility for his behaviour.

Omar’s diary room speeches have been all about how he is the victim and miserable. Did anyone else notice that he couldn’t help himself smiling when he asked BB if he were toxic?

Before the BB intervention I have no doubt that he was setting the scene that Rhianna was unreasonable and placing too many demands on him because she was immature and needy and needed to ‘fix up’ and was on warning that he wasn’t happy and their relationship was not working. Either because he wants respect from his bros for dumping the rich attractive young woman throwing herself at him or he wanted to save face as he knows he is toast when her family intervene to save her.

ITV has the same duty of care to Omar as they do to the other housemates.

Some of the reaction has been pitchfork stuff (and, for clarity, I couldn't give two shits who agrees or disagrees), albeit mainly social media/tabloid driven. The idea that ITV don't care is uninformed. Omar's mental wellbeing upon leaving the house will be of significant concern to their welfare team.

The fate of the Jeremy Kyle show is a precautionary tale.