The Beauty Queen and the Catfish

[Youngeryoungsuddenly]

This three part documentary tells the story of many women, looking to find love, who were fooled into thinking they were talking to a real person. The numbers and the deception are staggering. Even more shocking is the revelation of who was behind it all.

I’ve watched a lot of these documentaries recently, including this one and I try and have sympathy for these women but I just can’t. The amount of programmes about this is starting to make women look stupid and gullible and I actually feel a bit resentful about that. They all say something like “I never thought I’d be the type of person who could fall for this but it really could happen to anyone” and I think bullshit…with how educated we all are about the internet and how we all know how easy it is to put up any picture of anyone and claim to be them..Why on earth would you give your address to someone you’ve never met IRL? How can you let yourself be so drawn in, fall in love even, with someone you haven’t even confirmed is real? I get your brain really wants to believe it’s real but surely you’re smart enough to know how common it is to lie online? I’ve done a lot of online dating and I’m happy to chat to someone based on their profile for weeks on end to see if we click but I always keep it fairly lighthearted and I’m always mindful there may by know spark in real life/they may look different to their pictures/they may even be a catfish. I’d never give out personal details and I can’t imagine myself ever getting real feelings for someone I hadn’t met. I might get excited or hopeful but falling for someone?! I’d just never let it get that far

Is it victim blaming to say they all ignored the massive red flags waving in the wind because he was a highly salaried professional with a house in Newton Mearns and a BMW X5? Sorry but there’s no way they’d have been taken in the same way by a minimum wage worker who used the bus.

Yes I couldn't believe the gullibility either. Agree with all above but also I thought it very telling that one of the women mentioned that he said he had a whatever car, say BMW 704 and she looked it up! And was so disappointed when the car that arrived was a Corsa!

HOnestly if you are so blinded by promises of a flash car that you overlook the million red flags well it's hard to have sympathy.

If you have never met someone after six months when they live just down the road, you are NOT in a relationship!

Oh and how did the perpetrator have time to do all that texting?? They worked in a very busy job!

It was darkly funny at times - the red Corsa made me laugh! And the cheesecake in a tupperware box as well...

I agree - they were all very impressed by the car, the house and the profession first and foremost. Oh and the fact he was so good-looking and photographed well. They didn't ever trace who the real guy was in the photographs, because you'd think he should know he was being used in that way.

It’s a common theme in all these programmes about victims of catfishing, the women are almost always desperate for rich man. It makes it hard to have sympathy for them because they all come off so shallow and only interested in what he earns and how flashy his car is. These men know this, hence why they target women who they know will fall for their bullshit and why they boast about how wealthy they are right off the bat. This is a bit harsh maybe, but maybe it’s karma for being so shallow?! It always surprises me how many people choose to go on tv without anonymity and admit they’ve been victims and have no shame in revealing how important the catfisher’s wealth was to them.

Although in this case in was a woman so my “men know this” comment should be “everyone knows this”!

Has anyone watched "The Million Pound Shamen Scam" on BBC iPlayer. That really will make your jaws drop.

Oh gosh yes! Supposedly intelligent people giving thousands of pounds to someone to cast spells for then (or the equivalent). Was really tempted to go down to Hampstead and offer to cast a few spells myself and earn myself a couple of million?!

That sounds interesting! Tonight’s viewing sorted.

Really interesting programme- telling that she didn’t get any psychological support til
the 4th trip inside. I thought Abbie was great and some of the others made me feel sad. But all very difficult to comprehend. But a BMW isn’t what I would be looking for in a relationship. It was fascinating I thought

3 episodes in, this is bonkers!

A lot of it happened 2010-2015 time

The sad thing is you know they could make episode no 4 when the inevitable happens.

I just watched it this evening . Great detective work by Abbie in particular.
It’s easy to blame the victims but the offender was very clever and played on their insecurities and their hopes of meeting the perfect man.
It was interesting to see Adele’s family’s perspective.
As a Pp says I await a follow up
episode it’s like an addiction.

Yes, a very interesting look at behaviour and motives.

I just watched this. I do find it very surprising at the amount of red flags everyone let slide.

I did a lot of OLD in that time period, and if someone kept cancelling on me, you’d
say “thank you, next”.