Police drama cliches

[LilyAnn13]

For a bit of Sunday fun
I'll go first....
One of the female cops has a bad sister who is a drug addict or something like that, or a male cop has a drug addict brother.
Who's next?

They don’t have to wait months for a charging decision from the CPS

Lead detective, usually female, investigating a site alone, inevitably getting bonked on the head.

If they have to interview a retired cop, you know immediately that he is/was corrupt, incompetent or tied in with a suspect

They'll drive away from the retired cop's fishing hole/beautiful garden/golf game with ominous music playing and him reaching for a mobile phone with a grim look on his face

The smarmy, handsome know-all detective asks the arrestee a penetrating and difficult question that will undoubtably reveal his guilt, and the duty solicitor immediately says “can we have a minute”.
Govnah…

Picking up the murder weapon in a crime scene and tossing it to an officer shouting “bag it”

If that was our scene our senior CSI would have a fit 😂

The investigation is going really badly until the last ten minutes of the episode when one vital piece of evidence is found and that one piece is enough for someone to get banged up.

(I suspect there's a lot of coppers on this thread!) (I'm not a copper)

The police stations are always badly lit with out of date office furniture and computers dating from 2010.

Cocky male DI dips his finger in mystery white powder, rubs it on his gums, spits it out and can immediately identify it.

Confessing. They always confess. The police officer will give a really long and convoluted explanation of how the murder was done. Based on next to nothing and the guy confesses.

Dopey, new boy copper is sent out for sandwiches and gets a telling off from his superior for buying the wrong one.

To be fair - nervous cough - I could probably do that from my wolf years back in the day lol!

They never seem to do any paperwork.

The nerd in IT who furiously types (never using the mouse!) at their computer to enhance the grainy CCTV so they can see the perpetrator’s reflection in a soup can

And they will of course have told no one where they were going

And have no phone reception.

The cops teenage stepson is having an online relationship with the perp, who he thinks is a hot female wanting a relationship, and giving away a lot of information about their home life, jeopardising the investigation and the safety of the cop.

Or the other extreme and so fancy and stylised that no public sector budget could have paid for it. The lighting will still be shit, though.

The female detective has an absolutely fantastic wardrobe with a particularly beautiful coat.

And a whopping great kitchen extension.

Have watched so many police dramas so here goes ;

the lead cop always has a troubled home life ,usually a bad marriage split

if they have kids they always have a poor relationship with them as they have prioritised their job

if there are male and female cops partnered there is usually unresolved sexual tension

the older cop , usually gets paired up with a younger colleague who they dislike - there is usually always a back story e.g previous partner got killed

there is always one cop who doesn’t follow rules. Doesn’t wait for back up and gets caught with the baddie / put in danger

the lead cop always is a workaholic , takes evidence home - never any issue with that

they go and speak to a retired cop who remembers every detail about the case from decades back

They usually have to chase a suspect , bonus points if there is a metal fence that they have to climb over

3 drags on a cigarette before throwing it to the ground

A pivotal scene with a despairing (and fighting back tears) female police officer will take place in the Ladies toilets at the police station.

An older /more senior female officer who has climbed the greasy pole / done it the hard way in a man’s world , seemingly pulling the ladder up behind her with regard to newer, younger recruits but actually has their backs in a way that is acknowledged only at the end with a knowing comment, look or nod of the head , usually in the female loos while tugging on the hand towel dispenser

Coming home to a massive empty house. Usually a well behaved cat or dog that greets them never to be seen again. Usually has an estranged son or daughter who has issues, but you never see.

Always having a bottle of wine to hand after a long shift yet no food in the fridge.

Managing to find items that wouldn’t be available (e.g hundreds of candles in a remote Irish village) and being able to light them all single handedly.

Sarcastic single older female cop (one who lives alone as above) who bosses everyone around and flaunts in with coffee, but never seems to do much work.

Agree with the younger arrogant cop type who is paired with an older experienced cop for going on the road. Always happens!

Driving somewhere they are not supposed to go and getting involved without backup. Then being told off after but not fired.

Waiting for the next series of blue lights…

@Mondaytuesdayhappydays It's always the Ladies loos, isn't it?😂

24-7 detective is reluctantly persuaded to put the case aside for the evening, and take their patient, long-suffering spouse out for a meal only to then receive a phone call / clock a suspect in the restaurant / just have a general brainwave that leads to them saying “sorry, love, this just can’t wait” and abandoning their partner just as they’re about to tuck into their main course.

The relationship always endures though, and is flourishing at the end of the series.

Yes or outside in the car park / at the bottom of a steel stair case/by bins while also bonding over a sneaky fag /vape which is the secret vice of the older female that she just cannot kick.

only three hard performative drags of course then it’s thrown on the floor lol