One Life - My Mum and Me

[MrsMuddle]

On BBC1 in Scotland now (think it may have been on last week elsewhere.).

This programme is making me quite sad, because the elderly lady reminds me of my granny who died a year ago.

I want to watch it to the end, but I can't bear it if she dies. Does she?

yes, twice i think

I'm watching it too, I think Sue's mother is still living, none of the articles I've read suggest otherwise.

I'm really enjoying the documentary so far though it's incredibly sad but also very uplifting.

This is upsetting me because I find her daughter so harsh. She has humiliated her over her incontinence and just seems so impatient with her!

If I find out I have Alzheimer's, I'm going to top myself quick.

That or ALS.

ooh dear!

This is making quite disturbing viewing, the daughter is at times awful!!

Why does she not take some time out when she gets annoyed and angry??

yes pedilla i agree

OMG, that poor old, bewildered woman! If her daughter was her carer I could perhaps understand her frustration but ffs, she only visits her once a month. She treats her with no respect and seems to spend much of her time laughing at her and humiliating her.

She is overly harsh with her at times, but caring for someone with alzheimers isn't easy and I can understand her frustration.

I don't think she should be humiliated over her lack of bladder and bowel control, but at the same time I don't think that was her daughter's intention.

I felt so bad for all three of them, particuarly her daughter when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and so obviously wanted and needed to discuss it with her mother, but couldn't.

A very honest film I think - warts and all. What an amazing lady regardless of her condition. It must be so difficult for all involved.
Still, they have a lovely honest relationship, difficult at times but they do seem to have lots of fun & laughter too. There's a lot of tongue-in-cheek banter.
I can't imagine myself getting involved in changing my Nans pads etc. so I think the grand-daughter is fantastic.

I'm knackered but I have to watch til the end now.

Ooh, that last bit made uncomfortable viewing but I think it was the straw that broke the camels back. I felt so sorry for the grandmother. She looked truly shocked at her daughters outburst. I would imagine the cancer had a lot to do with that.

Such a cruel, cruel disease, BOTH.

It is very hard to care for someone with Alzheimer's, and there's really no way to show it unless you experience it.

A fair percentage of sufferers also become quite violent, particularly at night.

I think this daughter should have placed her mother in a home.

It's nigh on impossible for one carer to care for a patient with Alzheimer's once it gets past a certain stage.

I worked in a hospice and we had a few patients with end-stage Alzheimer's and that's why I know if I ever got it, I'd do myself in.

I found it hard to watch at times and extremely uplifting at others. I loved the way they laughed together, and the natural way they lolled about on the bed hugging each other.

I did find the scenes dealing with Grannies incontinence a little uncomfortable. More so because she couldn't have had any say in whether or not they were shown.

My mother had a similar realtionship with my Nana. mum was an only child and had a stormy relationship with my Nan who, with hind sight had always had mental health problems. She was a terrible hypochondriac and drained us of all sympathy.

She died three years after her Alzheimers was first diagnosed. Outsiders would have been shocked at the way my Mum dealt with my Nana, she was not cruel but cold and impatient.

My Mum has dementia and i watched this programme and cried my eyes out.
Mainly because with my mum, i can't really talk to her as all she does is sit and rock back and forth with an open mouth.
I've not really heard my mum laugh or even cry for almost 3yrs, she is just a shell and has no emotions whatsover.
The incontinence was OK, because i've dealt with loads of people as part of doing Homecare and when i visit my Mum i help bathe and wash her hair (when she'll let me).
She might seem frail but she can and does hit and pinch really hard.
At least the daughter on the film can have a joke with her mum and the grandaughter was lovely! Just so sad my DDs can't have a relationship like that.

Also regarding relatives getting impatient.
This is VERY common.
I've lost count of the times that relatives of clients we visited were shouting at their Mums or Dads and critisising them in front of me.
My Dad does this with my Mum, but he does not shout, he just call her his little pet as she will follow him around when she wants a cigarette.
I've also had clients who shout and hit their carers whilts i was there.
If its like that in the community then care homes are at least much better for the relatives and ultimately for the person with advanced Dementia.
This horrible disease can destroy whole famillies if you let it.
Problem is that lots of people say they will do themselves in if they had dementia, my Mum always said that, but she does not even know she has it.
She is smoking over 80 cigs a day and can stay awake for over 48hours non-stop, so maybe unconsciously she is trying to kill herself.....who knows?

Also regarding relatives getting impatient.
This is VERY common.
I've lost count of the times that relatives of clients we visited were shouting at their Mums or Dads and critisising them in front of me.
My Dad does this with my Mum, but he does not shout, he just call her his little pet as she will follow him around when she wants a cigarette.
I've also had clients who shout and hit their carers whilts i was there.
If its like that in the community then care homes are at least much better for the relatives and ultimately for the person with advanced Dementia.
This horrible disease can destroy whole famillies if you let it.
Problem is that lots of people say they will do themselves in if they had dementia, my Mum always said that, but she does not even know she has it.
She is smoking over 80 cigs a day and can stay awake for over 48hours non-stop, so maybe unconsciously she is trying to kill herself.....who knows?