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Telly addicts

Swiped on C4

16 replies

Cranmer · 13/12/2024 18:38

Did anyone see this?

Matt and Emma Willis join a group of 12-year-olds in giving up their phones. This Channel 4 documentary is a worrying watch for any parent.

It was terrifying and shocking.

OP posts:
aNameyName · 13/12/2024 19:36

I watched it earlier. I'm grateful that my secondary school child is happy without a smartphone, and I thought it was actually rather encouraging that so many of the children had themselves recognised benefits from adjusting to not having their phones.

CaveMum · 13/12/2024 19:42

It was terrifying! DD is in Y6 and most of her friends now have smartphones. We’re holding out as long as we can - she’s been told her 11th birthday at the very earliest but that’s now only a few months away! I’d happily hold out even longer but it’s getting to the stage where her friends are having conversations outside of school that she’s missing out on.

purpleme12 · 13/12/2024 20:07

Watching the second episode now
It's sad how hard Miles seems to be finding it

purpleme12 · 13/12/2024 20:13

I'm finding it hard to believe when the doctor type person says he's seeing toddlers who spend their day in front of a phone and that's why they're non verbal??

Conniethecatapillar · 13/12/2024 22:30

I am watching it now too. It's a hard watch with a kid who is coming up to secondary age.

@aNameyName how have you managed to not give your child one, please share any advice and tips.

purpleme12 · 13/12/2024 23:00

My child's 11 but she got a phone at 10 and a half when she started going to the corner shop by herself. However I did block Google so she can't go on that.

She has no tick tock etc. She does have wotsapp.

I suspect it'll be harder when she goes to high school mind

purpleme12 · 13/12/2024 23:01

But she's not on it loads

purpleme12 · 13/12/2024 23:05

A lot of her friends had already had phones for years and had each others' numbers though.

I always find it hard to believe it when people on here say 'i don't know any children of (such and such age) who have a phone' 'not many children that age have a phone'

healthybychristmas · 13/12/2024 23:05

purpleme12 · 13/12/2024 20:13

I'm finding it hard to believe when the doctor type person says he's seeing toddlers who spend their day in front of a phone and that's why they're non verbal??

I can believe that. In the last week I've heard of two toddlers age 3 years old who have had an iPad for Christmas or a birthday.

purpleme12 · 13/12/2024 23:06

healthybychristmas · 13/12/2024 23:05

I can believe that. In the last week I've heard of two toddlers age 3 years old who have had an iPad for Christmas or a birthday.

But all day with it though? To the point that they're non verbal and that's to blame?

mycatsanutter · 13/12/2024 23:07

Surely a child can just have a phone without social media on it ?

Carouselfish · 13/12/2024 23:16

Feel like O knew it all vaguely anyway but having it spelled out was a wake up.

Destroys grey matter in a pattern similar to substance abuse!!???

It isn't just kids being on it, it's the parents being on it, zoning out and putting the kids on it too so they don't disturb them.

purpleme12 · 13/12/2024 23:22

Scarlett says she was very anxious and had 3 panic attacks a day at one point. Then said she wasn't anxious without her phone - but why is this?

aNameyName · 14/12/2024 08:19

@Conniethecatapillar

I can tell you what’s currently working for us, but I don’t know how well that will translate into tips/advice since every family is so different.

Thinking about factors that probably help us:

My eldest enjoys school, has plenty friends (all of whom have smartphones), and the school has a 'phones off and in bags during the school day' policy, which is enforced. There's no implicit pressure during the school day to be on phones, or feeling left out because everyone else has disappeared into their phone.

They walk or cycle to and from school and their various activities, so don't need a phone for bus apps/passes, and they're comfortable being with their own thoughts. Sometimes they'll meet friends along the way and when they do, they all chat as they walk rather than being on phones.

As parents, we're content not knowing exactly where our kids are at all times. It initially felt a bit daunting, but I think if we suck up that discomfort my children are more likely to feel that it's safe to be out and about. If we use live tracking, it's generally for a short period and specific purpose, e.g. an adult going off on a solo bike ride, or to enable whoever's at home to make a meal for when everyone's returned from whatever they're doing.

Our kids know how to enjoy their free time without their own personal screen. We've been fortunate to be able to spend time and money on introducing our kids to activities to find things they enjoy, look forward to and want to do in their free time. This would have been much harder, and we'd have had to think a lot more creatively, if that wasn't so much the case. At the moment, our eldest does after school clubs three days a week, they also have other sports clubs on three evenings and they do a couple of independent training sessions mid-week for their main sport. They love reading, so after sport and a shower, they're very happy to sink into a chair and read. Sometimes, we'll play board games, and occasionally they even want to spend time chatting with us(!)

We talk with our kids about tech, social media, the pros and cons, algorithms, pile-ons, online bullying, cybersecurity, porn, etc. I share things I've learned with my kids in a reasonably age-appropriate way, so they can at least understand my perspective. I ask them their views. They know that if they get a smartphone, they are likely to use it in a similar manner to how their friends do and spend multiple hours on it each day, which must logically displace the same amount of time from things they're currently doing, whether that's sleeping or doing things they enjoy in their free time. Neither of them think this sounds like a great swap.

We do have screens at home. We sometimes watch things together as a family on the (one and only) TV, and chat about what's going on. Our kids each have a locked-down pc in their bedrooms. For a few months, they both played lots of games. Eldest now mostly ignores it other than using it for homework. Youngest is more likely to spend time playing games on it, and also using it for homework, but as their reading has improved to the level where they can read genuinely enjoyable books for themself, they've also ditched a lot of screen time in favour of reading.

Not having a smartphone makes my eldest 'different' from other kids at school, but it's probably not the most obvious thing that's different about my child - they're a very different build from most kids, they're at/near top of the class across multiple subjects, they miss some classes to get to sports competitions, and they have quite different interests from many of their peers. Our eldest hasn’t suffered any negative attention from not having a smartphone; it's not something they see as being an issue.

dozer222 · 18/12/2024 09:17

purpleme12 · 13/12/2024 20:13

I'm finding it hard to believe when the doctor type person says he's seeing toddlers who spend their day in front of a phone and that's why they're non verbal??

I am always shocked when I hear the statistics about very young children with phones, not saying it's not happening but I have to confess I don't know anyone at all anywhere near this age with regular access to a phone.

dozer222 · 18/12/2024 09:24

Overall though I find it absolutely terrifying for our tweens and teens. I honestly can't believe they all have them, it's just awful. The porn issue alone is enough for me. Half our 11 year olds exposed to this as their first experience of sex. Let alone what it's all doing to their brains/lives constantly on their phones. It's all just so wrong.

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