What is wrong with people who go on Grand Designs?

[RobynRB]

Seriously, time and time again it's the same thing. Why do people feel they need to build a house the size of a cinema complex and then moan when they run out money. Most of these things could be 10-20% smaller and you wouldn't even notice. Don't these people understand that materials like wood and concrete cost money so buy less of them and the house will be cheaper.

Speaking of which, last night was a classic case... we haven't got any money, but we bought this copper bath for our bedroom and this (frankly disgusting but I'm guessing ridiculously expensive) gold and black marble for our kitchen.

It struck me the reservoir building was big enough to build a reasonable house in, maybe with a smaller extension to the side. It certainly looked twice the size of my three bedroomed house on it's own.

And of course five minutes after they started they announced they were having a child. What brilliant timing...

I watched this last night. It didn't seem very child friendly at the end did it ... all that concrete and glass. My DCs would have hurled themselves off that hallway balcony.

The ones that go hideously wrong tend to follow a formula, we could start Grand Designs bingo.

Want monster mansion for 30p per m2 - tick
Finances not in place at the beginning to complete the project - tick
Will project manage themselves despite no experience - tick
Think they know better than the architect and make changes as they go along - tick
Must have disgusting designer kitchen that they have already fallen in love with before a spade goes into the ground - tick

Bingo:
Dream home/forever home

Whenever I watch these programs, I immediately research the house, and it’s amazing how many of these ‘forever’ homes have been sold, relatively quickly after being built.

I used to love Grand Designs but totally agree that it's all ridiculous now. Way too much focus on huge homes for no other reason that 'it's huge'.

I watched one a while ago that looked like a county council built 'funky'' library by the time it was finished. Hideously expensive.

The wife looked completely downtrodden and knackered in an old baggy cardigan, running around after 3 kids while the husband was swanning around in designer gear to match 'his' designer house. Dreadful.

I remember thinking... just divorce him and get 50% of the value of the house! 🤣

If you haven’t seen it, you must watch the GD episode whereby a posh ex- soldier (was in army several years ago, only for a few years, you wouldn’t mention it if he was an ex bin man!) who’s aunt owned a Scottish stately home, built a house on the edge of a cemetary. He also had a young son (from ex, at boarding school).

its the best episode ever.

I love grand designs. It takes years to make an episode, I think it’s so well done

The size of the mortgage they were going to cover by selling ‘sweets’ online…

and I agree, in a few years there is going to be an army of Kevin’s going to peoples houses and making snide remarks.

Thing is, they choose people to go on the programme who will make good telly, not those who have a good project plan, a site manager, and a buildable design - they want the random children appearing, the peril of the budget, and ideally a 'lovable but goofy' couple who will spend a year crafting stone stairs to a first floor they can't afford to build yet.
DHs superpower is predicting the issues they will have with the design, the eventual cost, and the project length. They'd never have him on.

I work in this industry and it drives me MAD!

Everyone is a project manager. They build spectacularly ugly houses. And quite often (because I'm a nerd) the finished thing doesn't always match what had planning approval. I usually check these things out. As it's my actual job.

One of my favourites was the Tom Raffield one in Cornwall but oh how I laughed when they finished and got pregnant. They didn't have enough bedrooms!

It's all a load of bollocks. Some of the crap they build and I'm here shouting "doesn't meet building regs though!" at the TV 😂

One of my friends was a contractor for a Grand Designs house near Newquay. The Grand Designs team wanted certain things finished and left unfinished for filming and it was so much stress he collapsed on site!

The amount of changes that have to be made once filming is complete is hilarious. The builders have to come back to make the finished result meet building regs

Anyway, like I say. It's all a load of staged bollocks

In fact I do know that one of the newer Grand Designs houses has now put in planning to build holiday homes on their land.

To generate income to pay off the debt of their over sized Grand Design shit box

We love Kevin’s appraisals.

”I really like what you tried to do here and it very nearly worked.”

😂

DD and her DP have introduced me to the "Grand-Designs-Beer-Pong" game. You take a swig each time one of these things occur

Run out of money
Having a baby
Build halted due to weather
Unexpected problem due to site/materials
Kevin McCloud not thinking the project will work
Project ends up massively over budget
Finished house looks completely soulless

Be warned though there may be episodes where you're hammered before the 2nd ad break.

Last night's was unbelievable. It was definitely her driving it more and she was far too emotionally attached to the 'dream' . I think Grandad Leo would have been horrified at how much debt they'd gone in to for such an absurdly huge structure.

All I kept thinking the whole way through, was how the hell were they servicing the debt!! Their mortgage repayments must have been horrendous, and what did he do for a living? Surely the sweets thing was temporary 😫🤩

Brilliant!

Oh and forgetting the VAT element 😵‍💫

Yup add in the following to the GD bingo

site floods cos the roof isn’t on.
builder/contractor goes bust due to covid.
delivery van can’t get down tiny access lane.

there must be some more?

delivery van can’t get down tiny access lane this one is weird because access is usually confirmed at Planning stage!

And yet it's so common on GD!

I don't know, the one that vaguely sticks in my head was a building that was in the shape of a U and the walls were all glass on the inside edge of it.

When they showed you round I just couldn't get over the view from the kitchen being of the en-suite bathroom on the other 'stalk' of the U and of course there are never any blinds or curtains

I didn't pay attention to anything else they said, because DH and I were debating why you would want to see your significant other taking a shit or having a shower while you were making breakfast (or worse, why your visitors would!)

Agreed to part ways with the builder...

Is that the one that had all the water around it, like a moat/fort? And a girlfriend appeared at the end? He was really posh-posh, good looking and smiley and a bit daft?

Was there a crazy swimming pool lane in the basement? And some issue with glass getting hoiked up...

Jesus I'm horrified at myself and how much detail I've retained../

It wouldn’t be much of a show if it was just a couple building a big standard 3 bed house and furnishing it from IKEA, would it? You could take a fold out chair and watch that happen in real time in any of the beautiful green field sites near you that are currently being concreted over.

What I always find ridiculous is them claiming to have X budget with, say, an extra £100k that they could spend if they have to. It ends up going 300k over budget and instead of having a nervous breakdown/ changing the design to keep it within budget they’re just like “oopsie, that’s a bit of a bother” and plough on with their bed stuffed with dodo feathers that is essential to the essence of the build.

My fave one is Pru. I often think of her & her family. I genuinely really enjoyed that episode (shows my age!)

This is the best thing I've read in 15 years of MN. Wonderful!

GD bingo ... be in by Christmas 🙄

Noted, thank you.

That's Thursday night sorted.

I'd sometimes wondered if the production team had thrown a deliberate spanner in the works at some point just to ratchet up the drama, but the timing of surprise babies some months after Kevin's first visit had not actually struck me before.

DH and I are both (or have been) project managers in construction. We see Grand Designs as a bit of a comedy (as in "I don't believe it!") and a chance to rant.

Seriously though, many of the developers are very naïve at the start of the process. I'm sure there must be projects that crash and burn, go bankrupt and never finish, which are not broadcast.