Anorexic - Ch5 last night

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Did anyone watch this?

Gosh it was a hard watch. Interesting but my heart went out to the young women and their families.

I watched it. It was hard going and I found myself rooting for the young women and feeling the frustration of their DM's.
And it highlighted to me again that I've never watched a documentary on the illness that didn't involve middle class families.

Yes the psychology and demographics of eating disorders are interesting.

I was worried for Lottie, she seemed the most unwell. I’m surprised she wasn’t sectioned.

I’m trying to watch it now on my5 but there’s adverts every 5 mins. Poor Lottie doesn’t seem to be able to think of anything else but the anorexia, it must be all consuming. Hannah seems very aware of herself and I hope she (and the others of course) can overcome it.

I was also expecting Lottie to be sectioned, but specialist beds are oversuoversubscribed at the moment.

Should say "oversubscribed"!

So unusual for channel 5 to do a programme like this.

It didn't seem very bright for Lottie at the end really. Refusing to see the eating disorder service still.

I find it terrifying listening to all of this.
How do we stop this happening to our children? And how do we help them if this starts happening?

They seemed to articulate it and know the dangers and still couldn't stop it. Can't get my head around it.

God if I was the mum's position I don't know how I'd do it

I really want to watch this but need to pick a time when DD isn’t around as think will be very triggering for her. She was diagnosed with Anorexia in 2021.

@purpleme12 it is a devastating illness because it is so psychological. Unfortunately I really don’t think there is much anyone can do to prevent it other than reinforce positive body image. But it’s really down to personality type. DD is anxious by nature and a perfectionist so a perfect breeding ground for an ED. Then the weight loss itself and a body and brain that is starved of nutrients compounds the psychological aspect even further. The ED is an inner voice that tortures and punishes the sufferer. It becomes a seperate entity that completely takes over the sufferer to the point that it becomes both their torture and their solace. It is the most frightening thing I have ever seen.

Will try and watch later on today.

I’d like to watch it too, but DD is with me ALL THE TIME to get comfort away from the anorexic voice.
@Rollergirl11 your explanation is spot on, particularly the naturally anxious mind and the brain after starvation.

Also, just being in the supermarket looking for a high calorie food as part of DD’s meal plan, you definitely notice how many items scream LOW FAT or 0% SUGAR or, for example, ‘only 68 calories’ on packaging.
Then calories on menus, unwanted adverts in social media claiming miracle diets, newspaper articles rattling on about diets. Lockdown - lots of tv programmes about exercising
They all feed the anorexic voice punishing them for every food choice made.

@threestars i think only people that are living with someone suffering truly understand the nature of this illness. It’s shocking how quickly it takes a hold and becomes entrenched.

And yes diet culture has a lot to answer for. Calories on menus was just the icing on the cake and utterly pointless in achieving what it set out to. It’s now just another stick for people suffering with disordered eating to beat themselves with.

I hope you are okay and are getting some support with your DD. Are you on the teen ED thread? Excellent place for parents t going through it with lots of invaluable support and advice. After 2 years DD is (hopefully) coming out of the other side of it. Think it will always be there though, waiting and watching for its way back in. 😥

Thanks - yes, she’s had an advisor for a year as well as 2 months intensive treatment and is in process of restoring, although dug her heels in again 4 weeks ago so on it goes…
She’s dealing with anxiety with ‘perfect’ room/coursework/skincare products now. It’s a bit like whack-a-mole 🤪 Glad to hear things are brighter for you. Don’t think we’ll ever let our guards down. Thanks for advice.

@threestars @Rollergirl11 thank you for sharing your experiences. My heart goes out to you, it’s such a devastating illness.

It struck me in the programme just how the young women (and their mothers) spoke of anorexia almost as an entity, a separate being to the woman. It has its own voice and own hunger for destruction and own goals. Almost like a splintered personality, with its own drive and devastation. Terrifying. Big hugs for you both.

Yes they talked about the anorexia like it was a person

I haven't watched it but my DD is recovering anorexic.
Someone said how do we stop it happening to our daughters?
AN is a psychological illness triggered in genetically disposed people by weight loss.
So stopping weight loss stops AN starting.
So I would say be vigilant about that. There are early warning signs a lot of carers for AN sufferers will tell you they ignored or minimised and wish they hadn't.
Things like:
Sudden healthy eating
Increase in exercising
Turning vegetarian/ vegan
Cutting out food groups
Increase in interest in food shopping/ cooking/ baking
Watching food videos/ cooking shows etc
More rigidity about eating times

If you spot any of these please have a conversation and make sure your DC eat enough for their age and activity levels. Don't try to pander to their desires just make them eat enough. It's better to over react. The mistake most of us made is to think backing off will help. It never ever does.

My niece is anorexic. She was diagnosed in her teens and then had her first admission to an eating disorder unit at around age 18. She's in her thirties now and has spent her whole life in and out of hospital. She has picked up other problems along the way both physically and mentally. Medical support and treatment has been pretty woe-ful. It seems They only deal with her when she gets to a crisis and her life is in immediate danger. As soon as they've fattened her up she is discharged and the whole cycle starts again. My heart hurts for her but also her family. We have all accepted she will never be well and it's only a matter of time before she loses her fight. We try and make the most of the time we have and make sure she knows she is so loved.

God that is so sad.
I find it so terrifying

I didnt watch this. I'm not sure I can at the moment as it's too raw. My dd17 is in recovery from anorexia. She is slowly gaining weight but she's very mentally affected in all sorts of ways that are stopping her from living a normal teen life. She's lost many friends and is ruled by her anxiety and rarely leaves the house. She fits the anxious/perfectionist stereotype and was very into her dancing when younger. The ED crept in without me noticing for a few months and by that time she'd already lost weight and her brain was affected. If only I'd known what to look out for I'm sure earlier intervention would have helped.

Lottsbiffandsmudge gives great advice and what to look out for. I hope this programme helps to prevent other families going through what we're going through.

So sad, I went through similar as a teen but thankfully it was short lived but knowing what I put my parents through is quite upsetting, you don't think of that at the time.

I am having to watch this in blocks as it’s too upsetting to watch in one go.

Lottie likened it to be being possessed and it absolutely is like this. And also like living with an addiction that is all consuming. It is the strangest thing. When the person is deep in the grip you can differentiate between the anorexia and the person. A lot of families actually give the anorexia a name. But as the illness becomes entrenched the anorexia takes more control and the sufferer looses themselves more and more. At this point the person cannot choose recovery even though they so desperately want it. They are not mentally strong enough to fight it. And this is why it’s so hard because they are not in the right mind to choose to live again. They need somebody else to fight the battle for them until they are strong enough. So this means removing their choice as it is this that is giving the ED the control. In a nutshell the mantra becomes “life stops until you eat”. It’s the only way it can be. And it has to be foods rich in animal fats and calories and goodness in order to repair their brains. Once the brain is restored to a certain degree then the person can engage with therapy to get to the root cause. It’s a long long process and it’s all consuming.

Obviously the girls in this program are 18 and over so it must be doubly hard as they are adults and can decide for themselves. But they are so ill that they are not able to make the right decisions.

there's a very strong correlation between eating disorders and ASD

I watched it today. Really feel for the girls and they’r mums. It was always my fear that dd could possibly develop anorexia being a perfectionist, anxious and high achieving, Al but thankfully that hasn’t happened (is past teenhood now). She did have some physical stomach issues at one point and kept on losing weight but it wasn’t AN - probably anxiety related - was investigated and it’s fine now but at the time I did worry.

For MNposters who haven't seen it, the program gives a very strong warning against viewers with anorexia watching it.

It was a fascinating program, and terribly depressing.

ASD and anxiety are often comorbid. Perfectionism is a form of control and people with ASD often like things in a very particular way to help them feel in control in a world that often feels very out of control. I can see how the strict rules and routines and the feeling of control could appeal to a child with ASD.

I will watch this as I find it fascinating despite being so tragic.

@Choconut yes and al applies to my daughter with ASD who had an eating disorder. It was classed as arfid but led to extreme weight loss, dangerously so. She's recovered thankfully but it was the most horrendous memory of her teen years. I remember washing her hair in the bath as she was too weak to hold the shower attachment and seeing the bones along her spine. She was just under six stones at
the time. It's just sheer terror and constant anxiety parenting a teen with this. As someone mentioned up thread, unless you've been through it, you can't really understand it. I thought I did before it happened to us, but I really didn't

I'm watching it now - I'm not sure why I am as it's like reliving the past few years with my dd, she is 19 now and at uni, she is managing but it's always there

Why frustration at their mum's?

I watched it, it was really sad.