Annoyingly unrealistic things in soap operas

[Floogal]

Ones I've noticed are:
People frequenting cafés and pubs, especially when the characters are supposed to be skint (I'm not skint thankfully, but I can't afford to do that).

People who seem to earn a good wage working for the local family firm or start up.

In the case of doctors, GPs that are caring and read between the lines and chase up patients. Oh and the reception staff rehearsing for a dance competition

Sometimes all three at the same time

Christmas Day at the Vic must be like a mass birthday party / wedding anniversary / death anniversary, but no-one really mentions it.

No one ever says what time when they say they will meet them at the cafe/pub/bistro etc

Lots of Christmas weddings that involves a punch up.

Blokes telling their other half they've been with "a mate" and the name never mentioned.

I've not watched a soap for over ten years and they were stupid then so God knows what they're like now.

A small semi that already has granny mum lesbian lover and 3 kids in it amazingly has room for one more!

All pregnancies are unplanned. No couple ever decides to start ttc. Every act of illicit sex will result in a pregnancy.

And anyone that does talk about ttc can’t get pregnant and has fertility issues

And then they're robbing the takings for the IVF money

Not a soap but the one episode of Baywatch I saw featured a pregnant woman going for a swim. She went into labour and had the baby on the beach. With her swimming costume on.

Living rooms with no random stuff hanging around

If they’re going to leave the show, they announce they’re moving away and they go that very same day!

When they start dating they move in together within days.

That sounds pretty mumsnet.com standard.

Mostly American shows but when the school bell rings for break, all the kids fly out the door straight away and flood the corridor. Wouldn't you have to gather up your books and stuff first?!

And when there is a scandal surrounding an individual, everyone amazingly knows about it at the same time as the person is walking past so everyone stares at them and starts whispering. So bloody stupid

People discussing in public places their plans for breaking the law and other naughty stuff. Of course, someone relevant always happens to be close by to overhear. Yet even with all this conspiring out in the open the police are none the wiser and there never seem to be any CCTV cameras anywhere unless it's specifically to advance the plot.

No DBS checks so murderers, kidnappers, scammers, drug dealers and addicts can get jobs in schools and other such places.

In lockdown times, people only wearing face masks when coming in from outside but promptly removing them inside. Especially bizarre when the scene takes place in a hospital.

Once born, kids are never seen again unless they are a plot device and nobody has to worry about childcare.

People wearing the absolute same hairstyle and makeup ever day for years.

In a taxi that's already waiting, of course!

Yes, I've always rolled my eyes at this. No mention of things like cancelling direct debits, giving notice to landlords, packing more than one suitcase (which looks super light and not stuffed to the brim) - what about pictures, ornaments, tech stuff?

Also, when they go on a blow-out shopping trip etc they come back with some carrier bags and generic gift bags with clearly nothing in them.

And then there's the sipping of a mug with clearly nothing in it. How hard would it be for the catering crew to put actual tea in the mug?

Kids who have done nothing but get into trouble and mess around and never be seen to do any homework get OK GCSE results.

People have everyone's phone number stored on their phone, even sworn enemies.
Noone travels to work.
Noone has relationships with anyone who doesn't live on their doorsteps, no friends, partners, anything.
People move home or job at the drop of a hat. No working notices (Casualty, I'm looking at you here) or getting jobs/housing sorted first. They just leave.

Oh and houses are always spotless, even if there are loads of people living there. And of course all their houses are tardises. I remember once Jean Slater moving in with the Slaters.....she gave up a council tenancy to move into an overcrowded house....noone would really do that, surely!!! Spend time with them for support, especially as she has a serious mental health problem.....but give up a tenancy? I'm a mental health nurse, if she was one of my clients, I'd be carrying out a mental capacirt assessment on her!

Massive new borns, come out squeaky clean, not crying and looking 3 months old

• WRT qualifications , you just neeed to pick up a tyre iron and suddenly you're a mechanic doing car services and MOTs Or a knife and you are working the a resturant kitchen Pick up a hairbrush , you can do perms and balyage *

I remember a Mexican soap from years ago.
The main character was blind, uneducated, living in abject poverty until it was discovered she was actually an heiress, then she got eyesight surgery and promptly became a nurse, even though she literally couldn't read until last week.

Then you never see them again until they’re teenagers and capable of taking drugs or getting pregnant

Someone on Casualty gave birth in a lift in about 10 seconds flat. With her black nurse's tights on throughout. And when the lift doors (obviously stuck) opened finally, there was not one drop of any form of bodily fluid anywhere. Nor were her tights out of place.

Not soaps, but TV and books generally....the percentage of fictional characters called Libby must be up 99.9% on the actual percentage of people called Libby.

No one is allowed to be happy in their married or has a long and happy relationship/marriage.

Haven't rtft so these might have been mentioned, but...

• Characters walking out of the pub leaving their drinks half-finished
• Characters pushing their food around the plate in the cafe or pub, saying they're "not hungry" (in that case, why did they order the food, FFS?!)
• Characters in a compromising situation never hear someone opening the front door of the house, but can overhear a private conversation from 30 feet away
• Nobody ever works their notice when changing jobs
• People manage to fit their entire life's possessions into two suitcases (always stored on top of the wardrobe)
• Parties, events, weddings etc. are always organised in double-quick time
• The people you see at the back of the church during a wedding ceremony never make it to the reception
• When someone burns the dinner they grab it out of the oven with a flimsy teatowel and drop it on the stove with a crash - as if they're not expecting it to be hot!
• It's possible to have an accident, get taken to A&E, get X-rayed, treated and return home in the time taken to run a pub quiz
• There's never a shortage of parking spaces
• Etc.......