Nikki Grahame - Who Is She?

[manysummersago]

Has anyone seen this? Catching up now.

Just extremely sad

I am a former anorexic, can't say recovered, but I understand it and control it. As PP have said, I believe it is down to personality. I'm an over thinker, a perfectionist and my own harshest critic. I felt lonely and ignored as a child, not eating gives you a huge sense of purpose and control. The more people commented on my tiny frame, the more I felt noticed.

I still have a very complex relationship with food, it's hard to describe.

I don't really know what the answer is, I think it's either in your or not.

@midsomermurderess

I found it almost terrifying when talking about her anorexia, Nicky told her therapist, emphatically, I'm very good at it. She had found something she could excel at. This terrifying, dangerous thing, she excelled at. It's a monstrous disease.

Yes there is a huge amount of self validation and competitiveness tied up with ED’s. Lots of sufferers strive to be “the best anorexic” and tell themselves that they are not truly anorexic if they have or haven’t done xyz. And the goal posts are forever moving. What is “enough” to appease the beast one day isn’t the next.

I thought it was tragic when she dies but I really got the hump when there were commentators like Owen Jones blaming it on NHS underfunding and lockdown. As a former sufferer who was also hospitalised a long time ago I know that anorexia is an extremely complex disease and one of the things that marks it out is that sufferers are extremely resistant to treatment because they see the condition as their shield, their sure thing, their prop, and yes there is also a sense of superiority becuase they cna starve themselves whilst 'normal people' are greedy slobs with no self control. Yes I thought like this. It's not pretty but that's the disease. So even when there is decent treatment available (in the US for example) the recovery rate is still absurdly low and the mortality rate absurdly high because the patients are so treatment-resistant. Also, residential treatment tends to make the condition worse for a whole bunch of reasons I won't go into here. The patient has to really CHOOSE to recover, for me it was like addiction recovery.

I think it's also worth mentioning that poor Nikki was really at the extreme end of the condition to the extent that she had to have a gastrostomy at age 10 (and kept pulling it out) - that is really a very extreme place to be and speaks to a very severe and chronic version of the condition. Someone like that would never have menstruated or been through proper puberty and the effects of that would probably make a person's life expecancy extremely low anyway, especially with repeated relapse. The heart just gives up in the end.

I don't think Nikki's case is particularly helpful to show case as it really is at the egregious end of your 'typical' anorexia sufferer (typical duration of the condition is 7 years, generally teenage onset, generally 2 - 3 relapses - not everyone's story but those are the stats) and so her case can be frightening for those whose overed ones have been diagnosed. And her death should not be used as a tool to beat the NHS. There is really no centre anywhere in the world ever that has managed to improve the mortality rates for anorexia since its aetiology was fully described. It's an illness that needs a hell of a lot more research but doesn't get it because it's seen as female neuroticism.

@manysummersago

It’s on More4

Thank you

EDs are hugely triggering in each other - my Dd has had to step away from friendships with other sufferers as she recognises unhealthy, anorexic behaviours developing in each other

eating disorders are very common in autistic young people and having worked with autistic people for many years and having lived experience, I'd be surprised if Nikki didn't fit the diagnostic criteria. It's far harder to diagnose in females, who are better at masking as they're socialised in an entirely different way to
males.

Many summersago

I found it on the site this morning . It was definitely hers .

this was devastating
lockdown was awful for her
just wondered why they couldnt section her

and she to me didnt seem an ideal big brother contestant with her history

Just been reading more on poor Nikki. Seems like her parents divorce was probably the catalyst for anorexia starting.

Funnily enough, when I was 11, I started getting palpitations and then anxiety, depression etc at 12 which went in cycles. It was connected to severe PMS but when I got my periods I was relieved because I was normal. But I think puberty (Nikki didn’t reach this of course) and pre puberty can play havoc with girls’ hormones.

@purpleme12

So how do we stop eating disorders developing in our children?

There is a strong genetic component to anorexia so there isn't always anything you can do. What triggers anorexia is weight loss, the reasons for the weight loss can be any number of things but it's the weight loss that causes the anorexic behaviours and anxiety around food, weight gain and eating.

As a parent you can try and be body positive, eat a wide range of foods and avoid grouping foods into healthy or unhealthy.

However I did all of those things and my teen dd still developed anorexia 😓

I think there should be more awareness around how dangerous weight loss can be in children and teens.

It's heartbreaking Nikki didn't get the help she needed.

I just watched this on All4

Nikkis mum on GB News earlier this evening.

twitter.com/GBNEWS/status/1514363293514747912?s=20&t=9VbAUCK3vUC_QTMdmbGtbQ

I’ve thought for many years that Nikki was possibly neurodivergent.

She clearly had massive sensory issues in the BB house (cold, etc.) and her ‘outbursts’ were very akin to autistic meltdowns. It would also explain why she was so upset at being voted off, she might have had a degree of rejection sensitivity.

I now know a bit more about the link between anorexia and neurodivergence and I think it’s clear that they are ‘co-morbid’ (am a secondary teacher and have seen a number of children receive a ‘dual diagnosis’).