My daughter is my ticket to heaven?
Jesus. What am I hearing? That sounds a bit wonk. I think a little sit down in an electric chair would be quicker.
And yet Antnee said everything else right. And he is more my type than most. I’ll have to look by the ticket mince.
First impressions of the rest.
Jackson. Don’t disappoint me dude. I need you to be decent. Because if you do me wrong, I think I’ll have to sit in the sparkling chair myself…
Domenica? I’ve been where she is (a similar short marriage for reasons not necessary here). But I get the hard decision.
Selin (sequin) is gorgeous no? I have a name that is constantly said wrong.
But no surprise she was matched with the dad. Family ticket to heaven? I’m glad about the match though. Opaaa.
Selina is a little poppet. And if my maw was intent on setting me up with KJI, I reckon I would have run to Pob too.
I hope holly doesn’t go running at the first chap with her Fallopian tubes flapping. I hope they match her with someone who wants the same.
Sam? Not a peep. How? She might not even be called Sam.
Ella? Not sure.
Tamara? Is already on my nells. Not sure why. I need her to be matched with the full cock mentioned below. What with her masculine energy and all. Sword fight. Or frottage…
Olivia. The little chubby girl? Been there. Still there. But why not go in as you were cherub? The biggest girl there? Bless you darling. You are fine. Just as you are and would have been as you were. This fatgirlslim shit needs to stop.
Andrew? Would love to know about the lessons he has learned. And what he is after.
I think Brent is going to want to get right in there fairly quickly. His little Brent will hit the target like a little heat seeker.
Al? Half Aussie/half Malaysian. Have big heid/half cock. I realise that is interchangeable but it equates to total dick. Probably. Deeply unattractive to me. Do not the best looking guy in the toon.
Mitch? The Timotei guy?
Cody would be there. No danger. It was like one of those old fashioned eyes put on stalks cartoons 👀 ahhhhhhhhhruuuuuuuuuuugaaaaa.
So. Anthony and Selin. I so want to be hopeful.
I’ve never quite understood rude or die. I think of spiders. One ride. Boy spider crackered.
Tamara and Brent? Wrong wrong wrong. She should have been with the penis. She’s going to break Brent I think. I know hermit life. And if I had masculine energy like Tamara is pumping out? I’d find me a littler shell and squeeze in to the back. He looks a bit like Adam from Maroon 5. NOT a bad thing 😉
She has got a dog and dog people aren’t all bad. I hope to be wrong in my first impression.
The eyes. She reminds me of something out of “V”.
I wonder if someone bopped Pob on the beak last season…
So the nuptials.
The Gabby letter? First tiny squishy eyes. Selin’s dress wouldn’t fit my hand as a mitten. AND you’d see more flaws in it. I’d need a minibus to hide the rest of me.
I love the venue. Beautiful. Simple. Understated. Gorgeous.
He is saying he is a gentleman. Which is what we all want. Well - I would. I’ll kick your wrestling arse like Big Daddy if you let me down. And there’ll be the same weight behind the foot tae.
And crinkly eyes to match my squishy ones. I’m more sappy than a tapped tree.
And lovely that they got the important bits about their bairns out.
Fuck - at this moment, if she doesn’t want him? If he fancies someone who doesn’t look quite as good in wrestling tights, I’m there.
Ching. ☺️
Tamara being all shallow. Yes her dress is beautiful. The personality isn’t really matching for me at the moment.
Brent wouldn’t like my trotters. I don’t like feet either. Mine live in work boots. I look after them (ish) but them’s still trotters.
And she loves foot rubs.
Bazinga.
Or more aptly Bazooka?
And he is without fuckin socks. Quelle surprise. Think of the flakes floating in his shoe. Mmmmmm.
Why are they getting married in B&Q?
I wish he’d said ‘show me yer feet’ at the altar. 🤣
I hate that she judged him on his job. She’d have been legz akimbo if she’d have got him before his business difficulties. Levi got the bastard measure of her. And called her on it.
Ambition is fine. Snobby bastardness is not. We do what it takes. If we all wanted the big ticket fancy pants jobs, the world would fall apart. I’m proud of what I do. I’d really Jude someone who looked down her beak at me. Life sometimes tops ambition.
Wifey though 😬
She feels like such a bitch for judging? Erm yeah ye are. (And yep - je suis judging).
He didn’t want to bend because of his breeks. Aye. Aaaaall about the foot. Cheesy.
And the interviewer mentions the feetyrubbies . She’s got more chance of being taken up the wrong ‘un at the top table.
With the right fucking fork.
No heat seeking I reckon.
Sorry people, she’s giving me the nip. And her bridesmaid was eating her food just like Brent. And Tamara aye with her mouth open. Guess which one I dislike more…
And he handed her the knife the wrong way? I’m shutting my mouth right there….
Mam and Dad have the spark all right. Oooh I’m hopeful!!! I want them to be a good match. They look really good together.
Remember I know feck all….
And breathe.
Ignore good and the jumblies. I’m getting ready for work. Laters. x