Garden rescue

[icelollycraving]

I know nothing about gardening but watch a lot of these kind of programmes with dh.
They always look really crap to my eye. Tonight’s was horrific. Left it with muddy borders, hardly any plants and a pond with no filter. Bloody awful, and they have to pay it.
Gardeners, am I miss something?!

That’s what I thought! Awful and £££. It was very disappointing tonight, they usually look far nicer than that.

I hate that they always use bound gravel in every garden too. It terrible stuff. DM had some right outside her back door. Every time she went out little tiny bits of gravel were trodden into the house, she even changed into her slippers by the back door but the grit still got everywhere.

Alan Titchmarsh always does a nice job, I’m assuming through sponsors as it’s on itv.
Tonight’s was the worst one I’ve seen.

He does do nice garden. Much bigger budget for sure!

Last night's design was pretty bad. It had so much wrong with it and they always seem to leave a garden half-finished:

Nice slabbed area but would have looked better if they'd at least swept it.
They left the paved area right outside the bungalow rather than re-pave and match it to the patio.
The benches and table were cheap and nasty.
The pond is too small for decent sized Koi Carp. Also, they will need a huge filter so that area will need a bit of a re-design to accommodate one.
They couldn't be bothered to clean up the gnome ornament which was covered in mud.
As for the raised beds - the couple seemed thrilled when they heard they'd have raised beds but I expected them to be much higher to stop you having to bend down to them.
The privet hedge - the designer even said they used it because it was cheap but who chooses privet these days?

Would prefer them to take longer and do a proper job. Sometimes they leave fencing in need of painting and they generally leave crappy turf instead of replacing it. It drives me nuts when they only dig holes big enough for the actual planting rather than dig the rest of the soil so that it is a finished job. Sometimes they do look good on camera (not the last couple) but I don't think they'd stand up to scrutiny.

Apart from that, they're okay.

Oh I love the detail!
All in all, it was shit. The finished garden looked like a before pic. 3k of that young couple’s money.

Found my people!
Also, the pond had really sharp corners at toddler head height. And the raised beds were minuscule for such a sizeable garden. Had to laugh when they whittered on about crop rotation. Pregnant lady walked around with a polite rictus smile. All in all terrible.

Is it just me or do the Rich brothers gardens seem a bit underwhelming, bordering on plain ugly. The designs always put me off as they are far too clinical whereas CD's are so pretty, her love of gardening really shines through. I'm not saying the boys don't love gardening it's just that they are just....don't know, can't even put my finger on it.

I love CD but why why why why why doesn't she tie her hair up instead of it constantly getting in her way and then she has to run her muddy hands through it? Two seconds later it's in her face again. She'd look really pretty with it in a one sided pony tail or something. It baffles me!

And while I'm at it I'll throw in a few more Garden Rescue 'Make it Stop' s.(besides CD's hair)

1. Fire pits, no, unless your nearest neighbours are at least half mile away..in the average garden you risk clogging up your neighbours lungs and making their fresh washing stink. If everyone had a fire pit we'd be back to Victorian London style air quality.
2. Calling a garden a 'space' (also done with rooms all the time pisses me right off), it's a garden, call it a garden. You can refer to a certain part of the garden as a space...grrrr
3. Calling it a 'sensory garden' over and over again after making the point at the top of the show, once or twice will do but they have to say it every 30 seconds, we get it.