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Original poster

American murder: The family next door

87 replies

thebeachismyhappyplace2 · 14/10/2020 09:14

Netflix documentary based on true story - has anyone watched it? (look away now if you haven’t yet seen it)

I watch a lot of documentaries about killers/psychopaths etc but this one has really shocked and disturbed me!!

What I don’t understand is he didn’t appear to be a domestic abuser or display mental problems. Ok so he became obsessed with other woman and wanted to leave his old life behind him. (But let’s face it this happens everyday around the world!)

So why didn’t he just get divorced? How could someone do that to their kids too!

OP posts:
CoffeeInAnIV · 14/10/2020 14:06

It didn't show all the texts and suspect things the girlfriend was talking about/Googling etc. She was definitely in on it. Vile humans.

ReneeRol · 14/10/2020 14:07

Definitely premeditated. He wanted to be with his mistress and didn't want the hassle of an ex wife and kids.

He is way too calm to do anything on impulse. He is a pschyopath, he had no further use for his family so he discarded them like rubbish.

HollowTalk · 14/10/2020 14:09

I know some posters were saying in the other threads that Shanann was involved in MLM and that's why she was always on social media.

BlusteryShowers · 14/10/2020 14:09

@woofwoof1880

There was a lot of information missing from the documentary and it didn't go enough into enough detail about the husband and the reasons why he did it.

The footage the wife put on Facebook showed she was very controlling. I wonder what she was like when the camera was off? How we would feel about the domestic set up if the roles were reversed and he was the controlling partner?

How did he find the time to go hiking with the other woman? It looked like there was photos of them both on FB. Giving the amount of time his wife spend on FB I'm surprised she or someone she knows didn't see them.

I don't think it was ever explained why he was speaking to police without a lawyer. That stuck out to me as you would think that would be the first thing he would ask for. Considering he confessed all to his father while under police custody.

I didn't notice anything that I thought showed her as controlling to a great extent, and certainly nothing that would suggest that he felt unable to divorce her if he was unhappy.

Towards the end she seemed to me to be quite anxious and insecure about the state of her marriage and had correctly sensed that something had changed.

Bouledeneige · 14/10/2020 14:36

One of the issues that I don’t think that the documentary covered but I do recall from websleuths was that they were under financial pressure. Things weren’t going well for him and she was using FB to promote her business. I don’t recall what it was but I think it might have been MLM - which may have been in addition to her day job. So my impression was that she was trying desperately hard to support the family. It also explains the frequent FB posts.

I think he had time for the affair and hiking with the girlfriend when she went away to stay with her family for a summer holiday. In addition I think it was the OW who reported him to police when she saw the missing appeals - that was the first she knew that he was married.

Yogaroll · 14/10/2020 14:40

They missed so much out of this documentary! They also did a great job of portraying Shannan as a control freak and like she was very hard work.
Nicole knew he was married. She searched Shannan on Facebook weeks before her death she also searched many things on google about having an affair with married men. She's not innocent by any means.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 14/10/2020 14:41

I'm glad he didn't get the death penalty. I hope he's tormented by his DD last words everyday until he dies. Maybe one day what he did will actually sink in. Although I doubt it sadly.

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 14/10/2020 14:57

There's a useful YouTube channel called Live Abuse Free which gives analysis of his covert narcissism. Shannan being described as "very controlling" is really inappropriate on a website aimed as a support for mothers. Very misogynistic and cruel

Bouledeneige · 14/10/2020 15:00

This is an interesting article (apologies from the D. Mail) which gives quite a lot more background on their relationship. I agree victim blaming is not okay.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6069607/Was-Colorado-killer-husband-jealous-pregnant-wifes-new-career.html

woofwoof1880 · 14/10/2020 15:04

@yesterdaystotalsteps123

There's a useful YouTube channel called Live Abuse Free which gives analysis of his covert narcissism. Shannan being described as "very controlling" is really inappropriate on a website aimed as a support for mothers. Very misogynistic and cruel
I'll decide whether the language I use is appropriate or not. Shame you decided to use this platform to call another woman names. Let's keep the conversation on topic.
Original poster
thebeachismyhappyplace2 · 14/10/2020 15:13

What is MLM ?

OP posts:
Yogaroll · 14/10/2020 15:22

MLM - Multi level marketing. Like Avon, Forever Living, Youneique etc

GertrudeCB · 14/10/2020 15:24

MLM multi level marketing. Juice plus, Arbonne ect

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 14/10/2020 15:34

You called a murdered pregnant woman"very controlling" on a thread discussing a documentary about her murder. How is your opinion she was "very controlling" relevant to her murder and the murder of her three children?? How is that relevant to the wider issue of the abuse of women and children? And the issue of intimate partner abuse? Because it reads like she was "very controlling" and therefore deserved to be murdered and her children to be murdered. Truly shocking you decided this was appropriate

ReneeRol · 14/10/2020 15:55

He murdered her and their children because he is a pschyopath who found a new partner that he wanted to be with and he didn't want to have the old family hanging around. He would have killed them no matter what personality traits she had. His murders are on him. That's his nature.

To people like this, relationships are just a means to an end.

Bunnymumy · 14/10/2020 15:58

Actually tbf her behaviour could be relevant in various ways. For example: it is unfortunately very common for ppl with bpd to attract narcissists and similar sorts (and I did wonder when watching, if this might be going on for her). Dysfunction can unfortunately attract dysfunction. Not saying that psychopaths are particularly fussy of course.

Also relevant as her behaviour might be the RESULT of his. Eg: need to control some aspects of life can be the direct result of feeling like there's is a distinct lack of control in other parts. Like never really knowing where you stand with someone...or what they will do.

Her behaviour is relevant not because it caused him to turn into a murdering bastard but because of hints it can give as to the relationship dynamics.

bringbacksideburns · 14/10/2020 16:17

Psychopaths mimic what they think they should do. He pretended he loved her and those beautiful little girls but he didn't care. That's how he was able to kill them and leave them where he did without a thought. He just disposed of them.

His tears were all for him.
Meanwhile his wife's family have been plagued by online trolls.

Who in their right mind would write to him in prison? What is wrong with these sick women?!
He shouldn't be given one letter.

I watched it last week and it really upset me. Then I read that he'd actually already tried to suffocate the girls at home but they had come round and got each other. Then he put them in the car and they were holding hands. Heart breaking.

Mydarlingsleepthief · 14/10/2020 16:47

Unimaginable horror that those poor babies experienced, and Shannon. I don’t think I have ever seen an evil man

TheRogueApostrophe · 14/10/2020 17:50

These family annihilators often commit the crime seemingly out of nowhere, with no previous (obvious to others) domestic abuse. You often see them wrongly described in the press as "loving fathers" and "devoted husbands".

Someone asked him why he didn't have a lawyer. I suppose if someone is trying to maintain their innocence there's part of them that thinks they would look guilty if they requested a lawyer. Plus the FBI tried hard to question him in a non aggressive way so that he didn't feel like he was being directly accused, even though they obviously knew that he did it. Once lawyers get involved the conversation ceases, so they were keen to avoid that.

Similar with the polygraph. What on earth possessed him to take that? Probably, again, because an innocent person would have no problem taking one. If he's had a lawyer they absolutely wouldn't have allowed him to take one. And even though it's inadmissable evidence that can't be used in a courtroom, it was the beginning of his confession.

MadisonMontgomery · 14/10/2020 17:55

I wondered if there was a money motive - there was a bit where Shannan said she had built her own house at 25, I wondered whether he wanted a clean start with whatever money the family had, rather than a divorce with a financial split & 3 small children to pay maintenance for.

Hollyhead · 14/10/2020 17:58

I watched this, I found him unreadable - chilling in a different way to another similar documentary I watched on C4 about Natalie Hemming. Her killer was obviously guilty the minute he opened the door to the police.

So unbelievably sad, and unnecessary.

BlusteryShowers · 14/10/2020 18:30

@TheRogueApostrophe

These family annihilators often commit the crime seemingly out of nowhere, with no previous (obvious to others) domestic abuse. You often see them wrongly described in the press as "loving fathers" and "devoted husbands".

Someone asked him why he didn't have a lawyer. I suppose if someone is trying to maintain their innocence there's part of them that thinks they would look guilty if they requested a lawyer. Plus the FBI tried hard to question him in a non aggressive way so that he didn't feel like he was being directly accused, even though they obviously knew that he did it. Once lawyers get involved the conversation ceases, so they were keen to avoid that.

Similar with the polygraph. What on earth possessed him to take that? Probably, again, because an innocent person would have no problem taking one. If he's had a lawyer they absolutely wouldn't have allowed him to take one. And even though it's inadmissable evidence that can't be used in a courtroom, it was the beginning of his confession.

WRT the polygraph, I've heard before that sometimes psychopaths have a huge sense of superiority believing themselves to be able to outwit others. So maybe he thought he could fool the test. I remember a bit in the documentary where the woman conducting the polygraph told him to just breathe normally.

I really liked that woman, as an aside. Her whole faux friendly, jocular spiel; "you have nothing to worry about, you'd have to be unbelievably stupid to have agreed to this if you were guilty haha, so I'm sure you'll pass with flying colours" was so good.

LunaHardy · 14/10/2020 18:48

I also watched it and was deeply disturbed by it. In ways I've never been and I've watched a lot of true crime in the past. Thinking about what those 2 little girls went through at the end of their little lives makes my heart physically hurt. Part of me wishes I never watched it. Also though, I also thought the FBI detectives that got the confession from him were absolutely brilliant.

TheRogueApostrophe · 14/10/2020 18:52

BlusteryShowers, yes, that makes sense.

I agree about the FBI investigator. She was great. They both were. They knew exactly how to talk to him. Constantly telling him that he was a good guy and a great dad.

daisydukes26 · 14/10/2020 20:00

Truly horrific to watch. Shanans best friend amazed me. She knew something was wrong very early on, taking away any time he may had had to cover his tracks.