Me and my partner have been having huge problems in lockdown. He has been picking at me for little things, going mad about the housework, saying I've been doing nothing whilst he has been busy with work and saying I'm pathetic for being on antidepressants. A few times things have come to a head and he suggest we start proceedings to sell the house.
I have found out where all this anger stems from today. I have DD aged 2.8, she is a wonderful child but I struggled massively at first and developed post partum psychosis for which I was on the waiting list for a mother and baby unit and was on anti psychotic medication for over a year. When DD was 18 months I found out I was pregnant again (total suprise and 1 in a million chance). After some soul searching I had a termination, I told my partner about it all and although he was sad he was onboard at first. After I had it our relationship started to go downhill and he has never really gotten over it. I've been called a baby killer by him ðŸ˜
I did what I thought was best for my mental health and chance of survival, I'm not proud of what I did but it was the right decision. I love DD to the moon and back but don't want to have another child and was terrified. DP didn't pull his weight when she was tiny and didn't understand about my mental health so much so that MIL had to move in a for a few weeks so I could cope.. and I was up all night breastfeeding. I just can't do it again. I think people are amazing for having 2 or more kids but I know it isn't for me.
DP says he feels he has been robbed of the chance of having a son and wish he knew I'd go nuts after having DD before he'd settled down with me. He said he asked me if I wanted kids and not 'a kid' in the early days. He says he wants a clean break and we should put the house up for sale.
I've suggested counselling but they can't change the past can they.
What can I do?