A Suitable Boy

[GCAcademic]

Just seen that this starts on 26 July on the Beeb.

I love, love, love the book. I read it during lockdown and wanted to start reading it again as soon as I finished it. Am hovering between excitement and apprehension in case the TV series is a let down.

Anyone else looking forward to this?

P. S. I would have chosen Kabir.

It's the business about having room to grow. The words of wisdom form the woman whose name I have forgotten.

She had very sound reasons for doing so, I don't think it was the wrong choice.
I was disappointed 20 years ago but now I understand why she made that choice.

Why do you think she made the right choice to marry Haresh, because I can't see why she would. There doesn't seem to be any particular attraction on her part and he's not really a 'catch' in a society that seems to place a lot of value on coming from a good family/ having money. To be honest I don't understand why her mother was so keen on him as he didn't really have much to offer.

So having read the previous replies are you saying that he will be so grateful she married him that he will not try to control her, and that is good enough reason to marry him?

@HairyToity

P. S. I would have chosen Kabir.

I do understand why his religion meant he was not suitable, but to go from their mutual attraction and connection to marrying Haresh just seems disappointing.

Well, I think he won't try to control her anyway whereas the other two were both wrong in other ways : Kabir too passionate and too daring for her family, I guess , and Amit too much in awe of his own talent. Lata chooses 'suitable'.

I do think book Amit is more likeable, though.

Kabir was gorgeous. Haresh had a rather large bum. No contest

I found Kabir's eyebrow distracting...

@ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords

She had very sound reasons for doing so, I don't think it was the wrong choice. I was disappointed 20 years ago but now I understand why she made that choice.

Why do you think she made the right choice to marry Haresh, because I can't see why she would. There doesn't seem to be any particular attraction on her part and he's not really a 'catch' in a society that seems to place a lot of value on coming from a good family/ having money. To be honest I don't understand why her mother was so keen on him as he didn't really have much to offer.

It’s a new India and some of those values, while far from obsolete, are competing with new ones. That Haresh could, on the basis of his merits, walk into a European-owned firm, and gain a good position and housing in the elite employees’ quarter suggests that he has a promising future.

The reason she ultimately rejected Kabir is that her feelings for him made her feel unsettled, out of control, and not herself. Middle-aged me sees the sense in that decision, I definitely wouldn’t have if I’d read the book in my twenties.

Did Rasheed kill himself in the book? I really don’t remember that.

I am glad you said that because neither do I. It is not a bit of the plot I recall terribly well but will go off and have a google! Tasneem was very undeveloped in the series so it all seemed bolt out of the blue. It is a shame they didn't think we had the patience for a Bleak House length TV adaptation. I thought it was all picking up steam nicely in about episode 4 or 5 and then - poof! All ended!

It would appear he does!

The reason she ultimately rejected Kabir is that her feelings for him made her feel unsettled, out of control, and not herself. Middle-aged me sees the sense in that decision, I definitely wouldn’t have if I’d read the book in my twenties.

I agree although I was in my 30s/early 40s when I read it. I think she rejected the passion and possessiveness of the other two and thought Haresh respected her more as a person. Also, the key was in the word 'suitable' and she was coming from a culture of arranged marriages. In her position I would have gone for Kabir but I don't have a good track record. I'm in my mid 60s now BTW.

I was rooting for Haresh, I thought he was just lovely - so humble and decent but also talented and sensitive to others. I could imagine them having a contented and fun life together.

Kabir in the series was so devoted but he seemed to overstep the mark sometimes (grabbing her wrists and showing jealousy over Amit at the poetry reading). Haresh adored her but in a different way.

The underlying thing for me was that for all her attraction to Kabir he was Muslim and she was not. Let's not forget that this was set not long after Partition, and whilst India was starting to look forward as a country, the cultural and religious differences were still very much there. Her mother's reaction spoke volumes when she found out for instance.

I don't remember Amit being as lightly drawn in the book I must admit.

I think Haresh genuinely loves her, and will allow her to live and develop without squashing her opinions. I thought the end of last night's episode was really touching, especially when they were on the train at the end and she gently stroked his face when he was asleep. I sat there with a bit of a soppy grin on my face.

I feel a bit upset that the programme made Amit seem the least obvious choice. I'll have to reread but I didn't feel that reading the book.

Coming from a culture where several family members have had arranged marriages it’s obvious to me that she would choose Haresh as the most stable prospective partner. Families cut off members who marry out - even now. It’s all very well looking at it with western eyes when you have freedom of choice but it’s not the option for a lot of people.

My InLaws would never have countenanced any of their dcs marrying out & would have probably disowned them. Not right but it’s how some cultures are.

My family were more lenient - I had a more enlightened upbringing but still had a matchmaker.

I bought the book for my mother as a birthday present when she was in her 70s and she was heartbroken that Lata didn't marry Kabir. My almost 16 year old daughter who finished it a week ago was rooting for Haresh from the moment he turned up. She must have missed out on the hopeless romantic gene that clearly is in the family.

I was hoping that Lata would reject all the suitors and pursue an academic career, as encouraged by the lady academic she spoke to.

Loved the courtroom scene where Maan was freed by Firoz's testimony, I wasn't expecting that.

I thought that actor playing Firoz was very good.

The acting was fantastic. I found Maan's family's reaction to his imprisonment very touching, despite everything they all radiated so much love towards each other.

There is no doubt that a marriage with Kabir would have brought a lot of complications further down the line. I have family members who around that time married outside the faith. They were ostracized then but not so much now.

@Piggywaspushed

I feel a bit upset that the programme made Amit seem the least obvious choice. I'll have to reread but I didn't feel that reading the book.

I agree. They seemed like an good match for quite a large part of the book, it was only at a certain point that you started to see his shortcomings and think that he wasn’t “suitable”.

For all of you for loved the book, and haven’t read Rohinton Mistry’s A Fine Balance, can I recommend this? I’ve just finished it, and it knocked A Suitable Boy off my top spot for Indian fiction. It’s not as pleasant a read. In fact, it’s heartbreaking and often gritty, but the storytelling and characterisation and evocation of Indian history (in this case, the Emergency) is sublime.

I have that on my pile GC . It's a big pile!

I am a God Of Small Things fan myself...I love it almost beyond reason.

Interesting, I thought Haresh had a flag, not sure if it was red - the way he stormed out when Lata called him mean doesn't bode well for conflict resolution does it? And she realised this was a problem when she was talking to her sister. I'm worried about their future! I too thought she'd reject all of them and become an academic, though in a way this ending was more unexpected.
What happened in the book to sil's affair with the man who was about to get married - did that carry on, or did she ever get found out?

I hadn't thought of that wemayhave...yes it could be a problem although it was the first indication of having a temper. But an overreaction nevertheless.

I thought part of the reason for Lata's choice was realising life wasn't a fairy tale. There were 2 life changing events in her family that made her less of a dreamer. And maybe made her think her other suitors were not very well rounded. Didn't she call him real? ie he had made his own life not just dallied through a life based on parent wealth and connections. And her idea of marriage was presumably formed by her mother's and wider family's attitudes. Not some fictional romance.

I think Haresh's over reaction to be called mean was, if not having a chip on his shoulder, being made very aware that he wasn't in the same league as her family (the Christmas meal that cost him a week's salary).

But yes, in an ideal world, rather than 1952, she should have pursued a career. But in fact her character was never really shown to have any particular interests or focus.

I thought how Maan got out of being convicted of a violent attack was a bit far fetched. But he seems to be one of those lucky people, so maybe Firoz and his father would do this out of a sense of duty.

But did notice at the very end when the two of them arrived late for the wedding that they again seemed more than "just friends" and wondered if the way Maan flicked some speck off Firoz's jacket was in the script or just a spontaneous act in the spirit of the couple!

Or maybe that is just me being conditioned by western media which would never show man having a relationship like that.