Should Children Be Told Not To Kiss Their Grandparents?

[JediJim]

On ITV This Morning now, two ladies having a debate about whether grandparents should ask permission to give affection or not their own grandchildren.
Just when you think the worlds going even madder, these debates are on!
Is it odd that nanny and grandad should ask permission first before giving their grand kids a hug or a kiss?..

No its not odd. Id argue its very healthy. It teaches the child that they decide who gets to touch them and that others should respect that. Theres been quite a lot written about it.

Im not sure what age we’re talking here. Nanny or grandpa picks up two year old Junior for a cuddle. How do you ask a two year old? How does a parent decline the offer to their own parents.
Sorry mum/ dad I’d rather you didn’t hug my child until they can chose.
It’s not healthy.

To be clear I don’t mean the child should be forced. It’s their choice to show affection or not .I think the issue was created that didn’t need to be made.

I think it's important children learn boundaries, but learning boundaries is more subtle than gaining verbal consent for every interaction.

I feel quite uncomfortable when I see parents forcing or directing physical contact and a reluctant child following orders. (E.g. say bye bye to nana, give her a kiss, that's a good boy / oh no hugs and kisses (does sad face) then praise for doing it)

Picking an 18 month old up for a cuddle to say hi is probably fine, but if they're visibly unhappy by it then put them down, don't make a fuss go 'oh no but you're happy to see granddad aren't you? Granddad loves his little lad'.
If a child's pre school then they've got options of how to greet etc.

@JediJim my DD is 2 almost 3, my DM with ask her for a cuddle or kiss when she leaves and its 50/50 whether she does or whether she just shouts bye and walks out! I think as long as you never force them to do it and have a close relationship with the DC then asking is fine!

Obviously younger baby's you would just give a kiss and cuddle anyway when saying bye if you are close family!

I remember before my nan passed (I was 7) she would always say "give me and grandad a kiss and ill give you £2" when we were going home... I hated kissing my grandad because he had a HUGE moustache 🤢 but felt I had to so I could have the £2 🤣 quite sad that is one of my only memory's of her!

I think there is a difference between "Can nanny have a kiss goodbye" and " GIVE nanny a kiss goodbye" then some parents forcing their child to show affection isn't normal !

My DD knows who her grandad is on her dad's side but she hardly see's him so is scared of him, I don't even force her to go near him let alone show affection!

Lola and HJW I agree entirely. The above post made me chuckle!
I just don’t think we need to be told this by some do gooders.
It’s awkward and unfair forcing a child to kiss someone they don’t want to, I don’t disagree with that.