Inside the secret world of incels (BBC3)

[Emi1e]

I’m about two minutes in and am baffled at how these men are so comfortable saying, “I am so undesirable I can’t form a relationship with any woman and that makes me angry”. It’s such a complete lack of logic... leaves me lost for words.

Also watching this now - OMFG. It's terrifying. None of these women will sleep with me so I'm going to "slaughter them". What a world we live in.

I watched it. I don't think any of the men were so horrible looking that no woman would date them, it's their obvious nastiness and misogyny that's the problem.

I watched some of it and was surprised by the amount of women blaming that was going on. No admission of the fact that they were socially awkward and therefore the reason they were struggling with dating.

On the one hand I feel very sorry for those who struggle in social situations and obviously that has a knock on effect in terms of dating. On the other hand I do find it massively unreasonable to put the responsibility of the troubles firmly at the door of women, calling them shallow or whatever.

In a world where we are to accept the rights of others it is totally up to any woman to be as shallow as she wants. For god sake men spent long enough doing it. I don’t believe for a second that anyone deserves to be killed or taught a lesson because she failed to see you special qualities and only you social awkwardness. You can not help who you are attracted to anymore than the next person.

A lot of this is really mysogony at its peak and like I say whilst I sympathise with the loneliness and jealousy they must feel, harbouring such hate for women (just because they won’t sleep with you or date you) is absolutely abhorrent.

The man with the mask seemed to be trying far too hard to come across as “unhinged”. It was so pathetic, in all meanings of the world.

“Word”!

This popped up on my YouTube today is it a recent programme?

I like to think I can see the good in all people, and I did reflect that I felt sorry for catfishguy in that he's obviously been hurt a lot in the past and can't feel very good about himself. I guess he feels very out of control and powerless so by catfishing that gives him control and power, in that sense I pity him. That was my summary in my more compassionate moments. I spent the rest of the programme shouting profanities amidst my desire to castrate him with a blunt instrument. DH looked slightly perturbed.

It's on iplayer @overnightangel x

Just watching it now .. what vile individuals .!!

Thanks @mummabubs

The thing that always gets me is alot of these men think women are wrong for not wanting to sleep with them but only seem interested in sleeping with good looking women and are horrified of being with someone more on their looks level.

@Binforky ... like it's someone else fault that they are 'ugly' ... I think could easily get girlfriends but they want to best looking ones . I think they have some sort of body dismorphia / mental health problems . So sad for the family of the girl who got caught in the crossfire .

I lost all ' he's just pathetic and I feel a bit sorry for him' feelings towards the cat fishing guy when they talked about his stalking and DV towards towards his ex-girlfriend.

Did anyone else feel really worried about the Irish guy and how he had fallen in love with someone he had never met? How is he going to cope if / when it all goes wrong?

Did anyone else want the cat fishing guy to turn up and find the person he was meeting had done the same to him. So he gets a taste of his own medicine not that he would see it that way.

Some of them reminded me of my ex. I was his first and only girlfriend (age 25) he was so full on we were together 10 suffocating years of him thinking I owed him sex (so having it whatever my thoughts on the matter were). 3 yrs on he still wont accept I'm not with him anymore and even with court orders and being investigated for physical abuse of our kids he still thinks we are getting back together. He is one scary man.

I don't get it, surely if they put as much time into improving themselves and being less angry they might get dates! Fuck knows what they are doing to not get any dates, om married now and fairly average looking and I got dates when I was looking! (I'm married now)I don't get it at all.

I hope the Irish guy's girlfriend watches the programme and realises what she's dating

Only halfway through watching and it’s absolutely mind boggling

Bloody hell that was a hard watch.
I’m glad they put the softly spoken lad with long hair on for a contrast so that you didn’t feel a shred of pity for the rest of them, I thought he was lovely and his attitude was spot on. While the rest of them thought the world owed them he just got on with trying to be more sociable and really seemed to have his head screwed on, not bitter and twisted.

It's always someone else's fault with any kind of hate crime. This is really disturbing.

The guys in the programme didn’t look so bad that they couldn’t get girlfriends. They obviously had mental health problems that made it difficult to form relationships. Elliot Rodger wasn’t hideous - he was autistic and that’s presumably what caused his difficulties in relating to women. Some of the other guys obviously had social anxiety and self esteem issues. In many cases their mysogyny and generally nasty behaviour was the main off putting factor but that obviously developed as a result of their social failures over many years.

I did feel sorry for the long haired guy who was walking the dogs. He seemed so kind, thoughtful and genuine. He obviously had undiagnosed Aspergers which made it difficult for him to get a girlfriend.

The catfish guy with the mask was Beyond creepy. It didn't disguise him in the slightest.

He seemed to keep making the mouth bit bigger to shovel down all his milkshakes etc.

I thought the programme was quite well done.

It's ironic that many of the barriers faced by incels are created by the young men themselves, through their own misogyny and anger.

I think it was insightful of the team to include James' and Matt's stories, to show how neurodiversity, adverse childhood experiences, low self-esteem and depression/anxiety can cause some young men to be isolated, socially vulnerable and susceptible to being radicalised by the echo chamber of niche online communities.