Choosing Death. **possible trigger

[Badwifey]

I watched Louis Theroux's documentary last night about people who choose to end their own lives because of illness. There were three people's lives featured. One lady in her forties with terminal cancer, an elderly man with pancreatic cancer and a woman who ended up in a wheelchair and with a brain unjust after a car accident.
All three stories were heartbreakingly sad in their own way. The woman with cancer had an 11 year old son. The lady in the wheelchair had literally nobody in her life to help her and the elderly man, Gus, had a very supportive and honest family.
I was in floods of tears watching. I think it must be such a hard decision to make. The woman with cancer couldn't do it and so died naturally in her sleep.
There was a very creepy couple who ran a sort of suicide help group, working in the very gray areas of the law who aided people in ways to die and stayed with them if needed but supposedly didn't help. Both my husband and myself were made very uneasy by them. They somehow seemed to take pleasure in knowing they had helped someone to die.
Personally if I was diagnosed with a terminal illness then I would, i think, like to be able to choose how and when I die. I would feel like I was inflicting pain on my family by allowing them to watch me die a horrible slow death. My husband thinks it is morally wrong in any circumstances to take your own life.
I'm curious did anyone else see it and what were your thoughts?

• brain injury

I watched it too. My heart went out to those families, I was astonished at the emotional maturity of the 11 year old boy and I really hope that's an accurate reflection. Even though his mum died of natural causes in the end its so so tough on him.

I agree with your statement about having the option and if I was ever to be in that position I would choose the same but for me it would be about not suffering for those final months and not having that time be my family's last memories of me. Gus got to a point where he knew enough was enough and the road ahead held only pain and misery so he cut that bit out.

Gosh it was so moving.

It is a very difficult descion but I had real reservations about the women with the 11 year old. I worried he would be constantly thinking “will she kill her self today”.

I actually missed the end. I had to hurry out of the room when Louis went back to the man who was dying of pantheistic cancer. I was there when my dad died and the noises this poor man was making, brought it all back. (I has nightmares for months after watching my dad die, because of the sounds he made near the end.) You hear that whether the person has decided themselves when to die, or they die “naturally” after a long illness. So does it ma’am he any difference to those you’ve left behind?

Lizzy I felt the same too about the boy. I don't know if I'm explaining it right but it was like He was desensitised to his own mothers death because she had discussed it so much in front of him. I felt very sorry for him. I think its a huge burden to place on a child that young. "Will she /won't she do it today" I think that he should have been kept away from those conversations.

I'm sorry you had to watch your dad die. It must have been very hard to watch Gus. I felt very sorry for him and his wife because they both want him to go but neither had the courage to say the words until he rapidly deteriorated. And his poor little grandson. He seemed to site on him.

So very sad for every single person involved.
Re the child, yes I agree entirely with you. It was too much for him to be hearing. I feel he was internalising all he was hearing and hemay Jane sure in the future. all being stored up and he’d have some real issues in the future. I hope he has had some counselling.

@LizzieSiddal, I'm sorry about your Dad.

I thought this might bring you a bit of comfort - Catherine Mannix is a palliative care doctor and describes the physical process of dying from about 26 minutes in, in this podcast. It brought me a great deal of comfort about hearing the "death rattle" when my grandmother was dying.

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p06hkhx7