Panorama - Can violent men change?

[PepperAnne]

Is anyone else watching this? Struggling a bit with this because I've been thinking of reporting my ex for historic domestic violence recently.

I don't really know what to think.

I'm shouting at the TV, to be honest. I'm glad she pulled him up on his language when he said his wife should 'behave'. I'm sorry about your ex's behaviour.

Thanks @cheesy. While I would never wish violence on anyone, I struggle daily with the thought that he is treating new girlfriend nicer. Makes me feel like he was right and it was all me.

It was quite short. I'd be interested to see a longer documentary on these courses. I'm not sure I believe they work.

Yes, I always feel Panorama is too short at half an hour. Feels like they only scratched the surface. I have zero sympathy for those men. I found it difficult to watch too, especially with women's services being cut while perpetrator groups are being funded. I'm sure things are different behind closed doors with your ex and his new girlfriend. I personally don't think it's possible for men like that to change. I think it's innate.

I am uncomfortable watching this, irony think they can change.it is deep within them,they need more intense therapy.

The one who appeared to be doing well - Zibi I think he was called - now doesn't see his wife or children at all, so it said at the end. So it doesn't look as though there has been much success with him after all.

Interesting that both the women they interviewed who had been in long-term abusive relationships didn't think these men could change - one said it would be like completely rewiring your brain.

I was also pissed off at the shortage of funds for the women's refuge whilst thousands were being funnelled into these schemes - with no evidence as yet of their success. In fact it would be hard to get evidence wouldn't it unless they were back in court.

Meant irony think they can change. Most of these men have personally faults that cause this abusive behaviour.

I don't think, doh!

I don't think they can change, I saw a temporary change with my abusive ex. His girlfriend stood up to him in a way i never did and he did change... long enough to get her down the aisle. From what i have heard he is back to some of his old ways, but i don't know how he is with her. I have the same thoughts pepper. My ex it was certainly learnt behaviour from his dad, you either parent in spite of your bad up bringing or replicate it.

Just watching it now, and that lorry driver i don't think will ever change "society doesn't allow it". It shouldn't be down to society to tell you its wrong, it is just plain wrong.

"Thomas" will never ever change, he has no interest in changing and doesn't recognise that his behaviour is damaging to his family. He just wants the course to look good, what a waste of funding. The other man (zibi?) who is in the course with him i feel for, he desperately whats to change i think but doesn't know how. He doesn't know how to control that rage. He seems to recognise his behaviour is wrong but doesn't know how to change.

I think trying to tackle the abuser on this is needed, but i don't think these courses are entirely affective and certainly not at a cost to refuges. They are absolutely key in getting victims and children out of that situation and danger immediately

Bloody hell, just watching this now. 'Thomas' made me shout at the telly when he used the word 'behave' 🤬🤬🤬

Just watching this on iPlayer now. That guy telling his wife to 'behave' He has no insight at all. Twat.

No insight as he doesn’t believe he has a problem, it’s his wife’s fault for making him angry. If only she would behave he wouldn’t need to get her back in line.

Not brave enough to be identified on tv though.