Long lost family what happened next?

[Arlothe7footdinosaur]

Did anyone watch this? Over the 4 episodes they all seemed to be good reunions with good outcomes. I suppose if they weren't the families wouldn't want to go on TV airing their business but it makes me think how often do these reunions lead to successful outcomes? It must be bloody odd to meet a parent and siblings in your 40s when you have an established life

I can’t help feeling sad for the adoptive parents who often don’t feature at all in the programmes. It must be awful seeing your child becoming immersed in his or her birth family

I [and my sons] met my half brother and his wife when I was in my 40's. We got on ok that day although I sensed his wife was very wary.

We wrote to each other once or twice after saying how we must meet up so I could meet my nephews. It petered out. I was very sad.

But the back story was pretty awful, so much to come to terms with regarding my real father. It would have been very difficult not to have conflict between us all due to our differing experiences so it was for the best we left it alone. I think brothers wife was right.

So no, sometimes it's best to leave it as it can open a can of worms upsetting everyone.

I do feel for the adoptive parents or the parent whose been left to look after the child on their own. I try not to be judgemental but the man who went back to Barbados knowing he had a child and didn't do anything for 30 years I thought was piss poor

My adoptive mum always said she'd encourage me to search for my birth mother if that's what I wanted to do, but she would never like to meet her.

DD keeps saying she's going to write to Davina to find my birth mother - I can't imagine anything worse than meeting up on TV!! Such an emotional time, it would have to be private for me.

Not that I'm that interested really - I'm in my 50s, if I had wanted to do it, I'm sure I would have done by now.

Do you ever wonder what she's like Sandy? Who you look like? whether you have any siblings?
I've never been in that situation but I think curiosity would get the better of me

There was one in one of the last series' where the relationship broke down.

I think the son and his family went to stay for Christmas and it became clear that they just had different opinions.

I found out very late in life that I had multiple half siblings born to my father during his marriage to my mother. They each had different mothers. We arranged our first meeting en masse and I asked a shop assistant to help me chose a nice outfit for it. Somehow though she got it in to her head we were going on Long Lost Family and I couldn’t persuade her otherwise. To this day I still wonder if she’s tuning into each episode to see if me and my lot are on it.

how did your meeting go with them flora?

Noodle, the sister who started the ball rolling couldn’t cope with the reality of what she discovered and backed away very early on. She had built up a picture of Romeo and Juliet in her head butnothing could have been further from the truth. There was in fact only 3 months between her and one of the others.

My other sister has an addiction that means I can’t have her in my life despite me trying very hard to make it possible.

My brother is the best brother in the world and we are very much familiy.

Our father doesnt know them but has acknowledged them and I’ve seen him twice in 45 years through choice

I have always thought it must be really difficult to meet a birth parent when you are an adult and develop any kind of real relationship. I have traced my birth father and I have contact via Facebook which is great because I get to be a fly on the wall, see photos of my half siblings and extended family without breaking the spell of what I imagine him to be like. When you are adopted you yearn to see whether you look like anyone and fill in the gaps but I have no real urge to meet in real life.

I have always enjoyed watching the programme, but I think we are being sold an unrealistic narrative.

My husband has met his birth mother in last 5 years and he has several half siblings. He was adopted due to her being a v young mum.

His adoptive parents have not met his real mum and haven't suggested that they do but they're happy for him.

We all get on well but my dh and I do have regular eye-rolling sessions at the wider family and their restricted and often ignorant opinions. We'd never say anything as they all have a lot of love for each other and it would be rude coming as outsiders.

But then we often do the same with our "real" parents!!

We are by no means involved with them to the extent that they are with each other, they spend a lot of time talking, messaging and being together. We tend to go to birthdays and christenings and then arrange a get together every couple of months. I talk to some I them via fb. That's not his thing.

My husband is quiet when around them as he is usually quite opinionated! I think he just wants to get on with them and enjoy having a bigger family. He's not an overtly emotional person....nurture not nature!

He is still v close to his dad and sibling (adoptive) and they talk most days. And his mum is the most chilled about it all and asks lots of questions about his half siblings and family tree.

So his is a story that's worked out on its own way. I don't think he had any expectations, he just wanted I know who his family is. He sees the rest as a bonus! I think you can't expect a normal family relationship but any kind of friendship is a huge bonus!

I expect the adoptive and real families will meet one day!

i am pleased that this puts a bit of balance back
my dhs cousin found her bio mum years ago. she had to go no contact eventually because she just couldnt give her what she needed.

AJP, its not unknown for adults who meet up with their biological parent for there to also be confused feeling and for one of them, sometimes the two of them, to develop sexual feelings for the other.

It happened to my friends aunty who had her son very young. When they met she was still a very attractive woman and her son who was 27 developed very confused feelings for her and she had to go no contact.

Its minefield and each dimension of it can be fraught with its own difficulties. Im very lucky with my brother. We just felt 'it' from the start and we are now a vary happy extended family.

Just reading all your comments. I met my birth father for the first time in nearly 40 years (at 45). No contact with birth parents since age four. Had no interest at all before the day. Just thought(wrongly) well he didn’t want me life goes on. Now I soo wish I’d looked for him before. He’s such a lovely man. Circumstances meant he couldn’t see me and my two siblings originally and he said as years went by he thought we’d got our own lives and wouldn’t want him now. How wrong he was we just didn’t realise. I miss the years he’d have had with his grandchildren the most. I do feel now like I missed out on a life with him. I was well looked after by foster parents and haven’t told them as I don’t want to upset them. Me and my sister grew up together and are so close as we always had each other. We’re making up for lost time now messaging every day and although he lives two hours away visiting each other often. So it can all work out well in the end 😁