No BGT thread tonight? Here it is. Week 4

[Soubriquet]

I'll do the first aid afterwards

Doyle

I've got a wig and some cat fangs?

Could I juts say, re my knife throwing abilities : if I shut my eyes, I am unable to touch my nose with my index finger. But probably not a problem.

Where are the dogs this year?

I can hear Chariots of Fire starting to play... and the running commentary...

"The Mumsnetters start to gear up for their performance. Another is brandishing her first-aid kit, Mrs Doyle is brandishing her husband.... but will their act be a success?"

"But... was MrsDoyle joking?"

I know I'm going too far now...

"Ooooo what tragic error. The poor man has lost his man bits with a misplaced throw. Oh the humanity"

Disclaimer: my first aid kit consists of left over items from my last ultra marathon. There's probably some vaseline, some talcum powdered socks and stale cereal bar if you're lucky

Another the stale cereal bar will do for any last-minute munchies!

And talced socks are lovely and soft on sweaty feet. Everyone deserves to die in comfort

I've got a shit hot amazing first aid kit that I purchased while drunk.
£80 and its better kitted out than an Ambulance

Oh ! Oh ! It's a Man In A Hat!!

We all know what that means!

Nooooo not another hat twat!

Haha AlonsoTigerHeart, my dog first aid kit is a thing of wonder!

Ah this a grandpa hat so I don't think it counts as a twat hat

Oh god the pregnant missus angle

Had to change channels for a bit there due to cringe. Back now.

Soubriquet you're just letting him off because he has nice eyes. Don't be deceived.

Oh FGS. X Factor is back in the Autumn presumably.

Less singers, more dogs!

He's a bit quiet bless him but he isn't bad

He's on a rant about Football Club owners, managers and players now and he won't stop. You can have him, do you have any safety pins? Just incase I need to re-attach anything.

££ in Simon's eyes