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Telly addicts

Are You Autistic, Channel 4, 10pm, Uk.

114 replies

staydazzling · 28/03/2018 20:56

starting a thread ,apologies if there already is one, looks to be an interesting watch...i think its mainly about how many adults could be living with ASD undiagnosed.

OP posts:
SadieHH · 31/03/2018 16:20

AQ 43 and EQ 24 here. I’m not sure I have a problem with empathy, things affect me too deeply if anything.

OutofSyncGirl · 31/03/2018 16:22

One thing that bothers me is the idea that autistic people don’t care about others because we lack empathy. Personally I’m very passionate about social justice issues but I just find it very hard to tune into the emotions of others or read people.

OutofSyncGirl · 31/03/2018 16:23

What I mean is that just because you lack empathy doesn’t mean you are like a psychopath. Psychopaths can empathise but they don’t care. I think it’s the opposite way around for autists.

LiquoriceTea · 31/03/2018 16:25

I want to see this. Does it cover how women present differently?

FlashTheSloth · 31/03/2018 23:57

It does mention that liquorice, which I was glad about. In fact I'd say it covers it quite a bit.

See the empathy one is weird. I always thought I had a lot of empathy, too much, but according to those around me, I really really don't. I think empathy is putting yourself in someone else's shoes and my immediate reaction would be "why the hell would you do that?" I empathise woth parents who have lost a child, because that is my absolute worst nightmare, like most parents. But day to day stuff, no, other people's 'stuff' really has no affect on me. It sounds harsh probably, but it makes me feel impatient and like people should get over it. I don't say it though but I'm not sure I hide it well. I also thought I was good at hiding what I'm thinking, but again I've been told I'm really not good at it.

When Jo in the programme was with that group and she was saying she isn't interested in talk like that and looked bored, DH said it is exactly like me. Unless it's something I am interested in or happy to talk about, it just bores me and I switch off completely. I try not to but I cannot pretend. Unfortunately it doesn't stop DH constantly bloody talking to me about football!

This post makes me sound awful, and I'm not. I care very much about the things I'm passionate about, and probably get on my high horse about it, but otherwise, nope, nothing.

LiquoriceTea · 01/04/2018 00:06

Flash that is my dad down to a tea! Unfortunately in my case me/my children are one of the things he's not really interested in.

I think my daughter may be on the spectrum but she has tons of empathy. Often worrying about what others might think but she is wired differ ent in other ways. Maybe she isn't!!

FlashTheSloth · 01/04/2018 00:36

Oh dear, that's hard liquorice. Thankfully my children are my world, although I do get fed up of constant football/cars chatter as it can go on and on a bit. I do try bery hard to feign interest and ask a question now and again so I appear interested. I really don't want them to grow up and think "mum wasn't interested in my stuff at all."

LiquoriceTea · 01/04/2018 00:40

I'm sure you're fab! I think my dad has a box for things he's interested in and a box for things he's not. I'm sure for most asd parents kids come into the "interesting" box im just unlucky I don't for dad. It's helped explain some of his behaviour though.

His partner and parents do come under his "interested" box and so see a completely different side to him. Warm, caring , thoughtful etc!

I think my brother has similar traits and he is an amazing dad and sites on his children.

PinkCrystal · 01/04/2018 01:11

I have suspected I have it for a couple of years. I've struggled my whole life trying to fit in and understand things that others accept so readily. I mask quite well but am exhausted afterwards. I hate bright lights and am super sensitive and have stimming type behaviours.
I scored over 40 on the AQ test and positive on the other longer tests.
People tell me I am a good listener and I make eye contact but inside my head I have running commentary guiding me how to act. Could be social anxiety?

I was passive and shy as a young child but got into trouble as a teen. Failed at school I feel I was easily distracted. I also seem to pick up more than others e.g. visual or auditory. I have friends but find it hard work keeping them. I prefer spending time with quirky people as find them more genuine.
I'm not good with change and plan most things to a tee. I love finding out facts about things like politics and read everything I can about a few subjects. Not sure maybe I am over thinking it.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 01/04/2018 13:45

When I was a child someone asked my parents if I was autistic because a lot of my behaviour was seen as odd, it was the 90’s and they associated Autism with the stereotypes of the time so just dismissed it.

I’ve suffered mental illness problems from late childhood, and so any of my “odd” traits I put down to being mentally ill and because of my dysfunctional upbringing.

Since some young people in my family have been diagnosed with ASD, everything has kind of clicked in place for a lot of my family members and they think I’m autistic. Especially as one the kids is basically a clone of what I was like as a child. I understood where everyone was coming from but I didn’t really accept it and I didn’t think it would do any good to seek confirmation. I also didn’t want to put any attention on me so I just downplayed everything.

Over the past weeks though, mainly spurred on about my new job, I’m starting to accept that it might be a possibility. I just feel that I’m so out of place, and it’s exhausting trying act like everyone else where as in my last job people everyone worked as team and my strengths were appreciated that they didn’t care about any of my oddness, but even then I still played a part.

I’ve took the AQ test and got 38 and I’ve took the EQ test and got 16. The EQ test I thought I would have got higher because I always saw myself as quite an empathetic person and people have said I’m such a good listener, but I do know that in some situations I pretend to understand other people’s points of views but really in my head I’m thinking completely opposite of what I’m saying because I know it’s what people expect. For example when someone’s going on about an issue that they have totally brought on themselves and was foreseeable I nod and try to give solutions without insulting them but in my head I’m thinking ‘what did they expect?’ and that the conversation is so boring.

But in some issues like domestic violence I understand that victims don’t act how society expects and wants them to because the amount of gaslighting and mental abuse that happens to them. So when someone criticises a victim, I’m straight on the defence because I know you can’t expect someone who is under attack mentally and/or physically to act logically all the time. But maybe I empathise here because it’s something that has affected me and my family.

I don’t know, I know that an internet test can’t tell me whether I am or I’m not. Like other posters I don’t know whether to explore attempting to get assessed. I hate going to the doctors with any of my mental health stuff so I don’t want to go there and now claim that I think I might autistic, he’s going to roll his eyes and think attention seeker.

SadieHH · 01/04/2018 14:02

That’s the killer and I’ve said it before, the process for diagnosing ASD seems to be hellish for anyone with ASD!

DeleteOrDecay · 01/04/2018 15:54

he’s going to roll his eyes and think attention seeker.

Yes exactly.

I totally relate to the rest of your post. Especially in relation to having empathy for victims of abuse, but then eye rolling at other, more trivial issues.

But then I have times where I'm not sure how I feel about a situation. On the one hand I think ffs, but on the other hand I can see how and why that person made the choices they did. It's a bit of a mind fuck at times, like I'm constantly sitting on the fence.

FlashTheSloth · 01/04/2018 23:35

"I’ve took the AQ test and got 38 and I’ve took the EQ test and got 16. The EQ test I thought I would have got higher because I always saw myself as quite an empathetic person and people have said I’m such a good listener, but I do know that in some situations I pretend to understand other people’s points of views but really in my head I’m thinking completely opposite of what I’m saying because I know it’s what people expect. For example when someone’s going on about an issue that they have totally brought on themselves and was foreseeable I nod and try to give solutions without insulting them but in my head I’m thinking ‘what did they expect?’ and that the conversation is so boring. "

This is me to a tee! I tend to agree and nod along when I don't agree or if I think it is boring. I loathe confrontation so I won't say to someone "actually, I think you are talking crap" and I'm not diplomatic so agreeing is easier. If I'm fired up enough or it's a subject I'm passionate about, or I've had a few drinks, then I'll say they are talking crap and probably laugh.

BlankTimes · 02/04/2018 11:23

@CaptainMarvelDanvers

he’s going to roll his eyes and think attention seeker

He won't if you take the results of those tests with you and explain how reasonable adjustments at work will help you.

The NHS adult diagnostics have huge waitlists as they are already very over-subscribed. More dx of children has led to more parents thinking hey, I do a lot of that, maybe I am too. Around 2 years is pretty much average to wait for an NHS dx.

There's always the private option, with vast price differences too, from charities through to the Lorna Wing Centre.

So many now-adult autistics, particularly women as they present differently, have been treated for MH problems throughout their lives when nowadays it's evident that some are "only!" autistic and if they'd had the right interventions during childhood it's likely that MH issues, particularly anxiety wouldn't have been mentioned as MH issues.

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