WDYTYA - have I missed Ruby Wax?

[squashyhat]

She's featured in the opening credits of the most recent series but it seems to have finished without a programme about her. Did I miss it or hasn't it been on yet? It was the one I was most keen to see

I know poppy, and it was so sad to see her say - if they had just once said....

But I am still amazed at her lack of general knowledge about the holocaust. And that she never connected her parents inability to parent with that time.

I think she did connect her parents inability to be parents with their pre war experiences at least she has mentioned it several times in her books. I think her mothers difficulties were obviously mental illness also and I loved her quote that she could have spent less time and money on therapy if she had only done genealogy first.

I thought it made a change from celebrities weeping over grave stones and actually think she was moved (even if her face didn't) and stopped them from filming a couple of times when it got too much.

I watched this last night in a kind of state of high alert. Heartbreaking episode.

I do much prefer the ones where the lives of female ancestors are examined. Emma Willis's one was utterly appalling.

In saying that, I found it hard to watch Ruby. In my mind, she is a quick witted and intelligent woman. What she didn't know about the Holocaust was pretty shocking. Perhaps the magnitude of what she was taking in hit her too hard.

It was so layered.

I will remember this one.

I always watch these and this one really took me by surprise. My great grandmother died in Theresienstadt and I don’t know much about what it was like there.

Yes it was a fascinating one to watch. She uses her humour a lot to hide behind or point out the ridiculous. Wasn't sure if she was using humour when describing her parents extreme character traits. At face value it comes across a bit harsh or disrespectful, although I'm all for telling it as it is. I don't doubt she had a difficult relationship with them and that it did stem from the WW2 traumas.

I think as well as lot of people who went through some sort of trauma just didn't want to talk about it. I know in my own family history there are some very traumatic events such as a relative being crushed to death at work by machinery and things like cot death and they are just never talked about, ever. I remember as a small child seeing a picture of a baby in my grandmother's house and asking who it was. Granny turned the photo face down and said clearly "We don't talk about that". End of conversation. And my Granny didn't have any of hte mental health issues that Ruby's relatives clearly did.

Ruby is not daft - she will have known that as the child of European Jews that the Holocaust will feature in her family history. The bit about her mother's aunt desperately trying to get the paperwork to get into the USA was heartbreaking. But again, never talked about. Ruby didn't know who these people were when she saw the names on a letter, and she didn't speak German to be able to read the letter anyway.

I am still amazed at her lack of general knowledge about the holocaust

Me too. When she asked what Kristalnacht was i nearly fell off my chair. I can understand her not knowing the specifics of her own family since it obviously wasn't discussed, but she's a well educated women just a few years older than me and, to me, that is basic general knowledge for someone of that age and education, but especially for someone who is Jewish. She seemed to have little or no knowledge at all of the Holocaust but I wonder if that is actually a deliberate, if unconscious (iyswim) choice that she made, not to learn about it.

I was also very moved by the program, but really shocked at her lack of knowledge or lack of curiosity. If I'd find old letters in another language I'd get someone to translate them straight away. It's not hard these days to pay to get your family tree done.

Ruby's autobiography 'How Do You Want Me?' is really quite something. Her parents' behaviour was deeply disturbing and must have been terrifying for a young child to be around. She writes about it all in quite a matter of fact way, which makes it even more chilling.

I watched WDYTYA the other night and was a bit confused by her lack of obvious emotional reaction to such horrible stories, but then she explained that she is on loads of meds to stay emotionally stable and it made sense.

I think she knew about Kristalnacht, but asked for an exact translation of the word. It was also a prompt for the person with her to explain what Kristalnacht involved, maybe for viewers who were not so clued up

When she asked what Kristalnacht was i nearly fell off my chair.

I had not heard of it before this programme. I have never been taught anything about the holocaust as I did not study modern history at school. Granted, I am not Jewish though.

I do agree that the celebrity is told to ask questions so that the expert can explain, it's necessary for the programme.

I wondered if she was asking very easy questions for the viewers? I couldn’t believe how little she knew - not about her family but about history. It just seemed a bit staged like she was saying,”oh, my relatives had to leave Vienna in 1938 - now, what could the reason be for that?” I actually said, “oh, come ON, Ruby!” a couple of times.

Soup I didn't do modern history either but I read a lot (although I've only read one book about the Holocaust) and watch tv. I don't know how I know half the things I do, I just do, and so do most of my friends.

I think some of you are being a little harsh on Wax's lack of knowledge. IAs a Jew with a maternal line rife with mental illness, I found this aspect of Ruby Wax's WDYTYA fascinating. I also related to the strange dynamics within her family and her mother's hysteria and anguish, my mother behaved similarly, as did her mother.
Given the amount of meds Wax is on, I'm not surprised she seemed so removed from some of the tragic and horrific aspects of her ancestors experiences and fate. I also think it was probably her still trying to process exactly what had happened to them all, something I think we saw when she was questioning what had happened to the synagogue. She knew why it was no longer standing but she just couldn't process why/how even though she knew it had been destroyed during the war along with so many other Jewish things.
I'm starting to wonder if anguish, hysteria and other mental health issues bought on by great trauma is something that can be carried down blood lines as it seems to be something that so many Jews have to deal with. Remember, Jews have been persecuted since time began, and it's almost like there's a predisposition to PTS.

With regards to the Holocaust, and Wax's lack of knowledge, well, it was something my parents never discussed with us and I can't recall it ever being spoken about at home, and I know someone who has a relative who survived Auschwitz and it was never spoken of either. If you'd have lived through something so terrible and life-changingly traumatic, would you talk about it? Wouldn't you want to protect your loved ones from the horror? Sometimes it's easier to be silent in the belief it's the best way. Plus things were different then. People didn't really talk about things to the extent we do today. As for school, my older sister studied it as part of O-level History but when I did it a few years later, my teacher barely touched on it (he was pretty anti-semitic so wasn't particularly surprised that he didn't cover this aspect). I was quite obsessed with the Holocaust as my sister still had her textbooks and I used to spend time reading up about it in the school library too. It wasn't until at least a decade after I'd left school and the internet happened that I was really able to learn about it in depth. We forget that many people grew up in a time before the internet and are missing huge chunks of knowledge about even the most basic of things because of it.

^^ Apologies. Too many words!

I saw Ruby a few years ago on TV describing her odd home life growing up and she made reference to the likelihood that her extended family had died in the Holocaust as one possible reason.

This was a memorable episode and I had a weep for the "agitated" women.

In the episode she said that she had assumed her family would have been wily enough (possibly code for rich enough) to get away. But then she must have wondered where they all were, surely?

This really was an incredible episode, and I do wonder what impact it has had on her understanding of her mental health issues. Does it make her more worried for her own daughters? I'm sure it must do but hopefully with modern medicine and her own studies they will find help if they need it.

I thought her reactions very odd. No head stone for her Aunt because she had ''no family'. I assume her family disowned her and left her to rot. Also, there is no way her relatives would have had a happy time in an Asylum in those days. Ruby seemed in total denial really. I wondered if her lack of emotion and sense of denial was something she learned from her mother. I get that she is on antidepressants, but I still don't think that would cut off her emotional response to such an extent.
Also totally astounded that she had no knowledge about the Holocaust. Given she is Jewish, why on earth does she appear to know virtually nothing about what happened?
I found it very moving but very disturbing. There is a lot of knowledge now about generational trauma and how it is passed down energetically. I wonder what the madness or 'agitation' meant in the family, who it originated with and how many generations it goes back.
Ruby has two daughters who are apparently free of mental health issues, so let's hope the buck stopped with Ruby.

Yes, trauma definitely can be carried down blood lines.