Knew I should've recorded it.
Awww Sole. I know a bit how you feel. Except I was married to the cheater that I thought loved me and was faithful. It messes with your head. I go back over my 30 odd year marriage wondering if he really did love me. Mine definitely had sociopathic tendencies and it takes a long, long time to get over it.
We finally broke up in 2006, (although the downward spiral began feb 2004 ) and got divorced in april 2008. I met
DH 3 months later and we got married last year.
He's ten times the man exh was but it takes a long time to get over the betrayal...if you ever do. I still get 'triggered' by things that bring it flooding back. It's like I keep on reprocessing it.
I love my husband so much which is a totally daft thing to say I know but there's all the heady exciting stuff of our early years and now it's going so much deeper because he's had this stroke and it's our first touch of ' one of us will go before the other one '. He's such a strong brave man. He's pottering around in the kitchen and he has not got all his vision. Yet look at him he just looks normal thank god ( I thought he looked a bit ashen at the airport but he assures me he's fine.)
I caught a glimpse of the future yesterday . Aaaargh! Not a pretty sight. A very elderly couple.. Mid 80s. Both with a good touch of dementia. God only knows how they'll manage here. The lady was quite aggressive but looked fairly tidy. Her husband had hardly any teeth, his jumper was stained and stained again. He was joking that his trousers were going to fall down because his belt was too loose and when I looked, his trousers were a mass of holes and practically threadbare.
I could have wept.
Hopefully they are coming to a relative who will look after them.
Sun is coming out...and there's a hibiscus pressed against the bedroom window ;-)