My Violent Child...Ch5 , Now..

[ChoochiWhoo]

Anyone watching? ?

oh i mised that bit, what did they say about the mother child bond?

He will have built an image up in his mind about how things are supposed to play out, nightsky and his whole focus is probably the end point of the £20 he's after. It's common with ASD to have facial expressions that don't really reflect the emotions being experienced at the time. DS1's expressive range is deadpan and giggly. There's not much in between. Occasionally, in a panic situation, particularly where he's out of his comfort zone (eg in front of strangers) he will burst into tears, but that's only been over the last year or so.

Just turned it on. What did Marcel do?

Marcel is very scary. His poor mum and sister. I thought his mum kept her cool very well

Dh just pointed out why is marcel not attacking the camera crew..

white she alluded to the chaos the boy was brought into, already having several siblings affecting their relationship.

Because we all know that all younger children in bigger families turn out aggressive for just that reason

I work with kids like this, behaviour that marcel has shown happens on a daily basis. We get to go home at the end of the day, I just don't know how these parents cope. They are incredible.

Tbf she said her relationship wasn't going well , its common for chaotic relationships to produce dysfunctional children,

And that would be down to both parents.

Three children by the age of 18 is fairly chaotic to be fair. I can see how there may have been issues arising from that. I was a young mum, and it's a big adjustment with only one child

ffs I haven't seen anyone blame the mother. Looking for different things that might contribute to the current circumstances is the way to figure out what's what and how to move forward. No point denying it. It is what it is.

thanks for info

hmm wonder what the dads view on it all is

The unpredictability of it must be extremely stressful in the long term.

I think the frustrating thing is them showing "oh look, one time visiting the horse and now the boy knows how to behave" ... it isn't that easy. It's shown in a very abbreviated fashion and is very misleading IMO.

I agree; it's oversimplifying the situation and implying that quick fixes are possible. Disappointing.

I also notice there's a lot of "mum needs to fix how she deals with it"... but "dad just needs to be there"... that's it... just "be there." Errmmm.. no.

No, Alice, it isn't that easy. DS was much like Marcel at that age. Things are much better now, but the whole thing was very hard work, going over the same ground again and again and again. It is also very isolating as you don't want people to know what is going on.
Much of our furniture still bears the scars .
Marcel's mother is very brave indeed to allow cameras into their home and I am not surprised the father did not want to be involved in the filming.

Just turned on. I grew up with an older brother (4 years older) who had ADHD and was violent and had to be put into foster care and residential schools. His behaviour towards me growing up has had deep impact on me being constantly threatened physically and mentally. I ran away to try and escape it (just for a few hours) and when the police would come looking for him when he has committed crimes i would tell the police where he was hiding for hope he would get locked up and we would get some relief. I have had a huge knife pushed into my throat and had him threaten to kill me because i told him he should not steal the neighbours sons bike, I honestly thought he was going to kill me and will never forget the look in his eyes. I ended up turning to drugs and alcohol and abusive relationships. I turned my life around but not once growing did any of the professionals ask how i was effected, I grew up with anxiety, depression and suicidal and no one asked. My ds is an only child i cannot imagine having 2 children and 1 possibly going through what i did. I really feel for these families it is hard to watch for me I really hope they can get support.

I'm watching on +1 now.

Interesting how Toby's dad said "it gets to the point where it'd be easier to walk away" talking about how they've come close to separation. HE would walk away... she would be then dealing with the dcs all the time. Very annoyed he could sit there and say that in front of her.

Ah, ouryve yes, I see the part about the mother-child bond. It does rather imply that it's partly to blame. Gee... did they discuss the father bonding with the child at all??

The only criticism of the father I saw was for something as unreasonable as working full time. Was that a classic 38 hour week or a 60 hour week? The editing has never allowed us to know, really.

I think that expert got to me because I've seen so many parents told that their DC's difficulties are down to attachment disorder when that is not only somewhat unlikely but ignores the fact that there may be more going on with the child.

I'm watching the bipolar thing on C4 for some light relief, now.

It's been a wine evening.

I'm watching on catch up.
The "parenting expert" seems to be putting words in Toby's mother's mouth. It could be in the editing, but it seems odd.

I havent seen this programme yet but I would just like to say that my son 15 is violent and aggressive.

He has, in the past, smashed up doors and walls, belongings, attacked and punched me, threw a screwdriver at his baby sister, shut his 4 year old sisters fingers in his door nearly severing them, pushed me down the stairs, threatened to stab his sister if she didnt stop messing about at bedtime, would lash out at the little ones when they walked past and last christmas pushed my dp into our coffee table injuring him resulting in surgery and 15 stitches.

He has been diagnosed with adhd and asd but for years I had people telling me it was my fault but none of my other 3 have his problems, not even his full sister.

He is improving but its years of hard work thats helped but its taken its toll on our family and my mental health.

I found this programme painful but fascinating. I have a very violent and aggressive DSS (have posted about him previously) and it was like watching myself. It's awful and humiliating -DSS is not even 4 yet but he attacks me regularly, scratching, biting, slapping, kicking, punching, spitting, you name it. He recently headbutted me and broke my nose. We are at a complete loss at this stage. I have utter sympathy with the parents and other siblings. I know exactly how it feels to dread each day.