(To be read in the style of Joyce Grenfell)
Now, children, is everyone listening ? We're going to have a lovely trip out of school today, aren't we ? Yes, that's right, we're going on a fun journey on public transport to meet the Musketeers !
Do you all have your signed permission forms ? Good. Jess ? Jess ! Jess, come back here please. Now Jess, when we asked you to ask your Mummy and Daddy to sign your permission form, I'm not sure we really expected a grubby bit of paper saying, "Mi Mumy sez its OK" ? What a good job your Mummy dropped off the proper form this morning. And I think we need to have a little chat about forgery later on, too.
Goodness me, Sparkle, that is a new and interesting way of wearing your school uniform. Now, just unwind your skirt from around the waistband a bit. And again. And again. And again. Heavens, it's a wonder there was any skirt left on show.
Drink ? Driiiiiink ! Don't do that.
Before we go, let's all check what are the things we don't do when we meet the Musketeers ? Yes, Anne ? That's right, we don't wrestle Santiago to the floor and hump him til he cries. Madame ? Madame, please try to concentrate. Yes, we don't point and snigger if Howie is wearing a bowtie. Or slip-on shoes. Or if Luca is wearing that silly scarf. Yes, Fancy, I know it looks like Howie got dressed in the dark. But we don't say that. Why ? Because it isn't nice. And we are all nice young ladies, aren't we ?
Good. Now remember, you are representing the Tavern school, as well as your Mummies and Daddies, and yourselves, so let's have a super day.