Anyone watch BIG LOVE????

[drosophila]

I only started watching cos it replaced Prison Break (loved PB) and to be honest I was a little uncomfortable with the hole polygamy thing but I found it compelling viewing.

I did a few times, but it's just such bullshit. I mean, they all live in these mahoosive houses and don't work.

The real polygamists are a very closed community in which children are brainwashed from the cradle to believe plural marriage and incest are acceptable behaviour. They mooch off the welfare state b/c they're not legally married - except the first wife - so technically they're lone parents. Mahoosive house, my arse. Many are in overcrowded caravans.

I think glamourising this type of lifestyle is dangerous and hugely misrepresentative.

But they did show that side of things as well. I certainly didn't feel it glamourised it at all. I think each and every character was deeply sad and unhappy. The impression I got was that there are a small few in the comfortable houses/lifestyles.

I missed last nights - is it on again?

Don't think so I can fill you in if you want...

yeah, but you've got them holed up in these swanky places and moaning.

the reality is, in these communities, there isn't time for a lot of that b/c the role of the woman is to have as many kids as possible. they're also brainwashed to think this is the ideal way to live/treat women/men.

it's also commonplace for females to be 'married' to men far older than they before they would be legally eligible to marry, even w/parental consent. too many times, the females are related - sometimes very closely - to their 'husband'.

there's actually a women's support group/charity for survivors of polygamy called Tapestry of Polygamy.

the law is focusing more on prosecuting those who propogate this illegal way of life - particularly w/regards to incest, child molestation and benefits fraud.

they also don't get to decide whom they marry. their spouse is chosen for them by the elders. for both males and females.

But everything you say was portrayed on the programme. It really didn't glamorise it. I found it as unpleasant as you describe.

The main characters did seem to lead a slightly more 'ordinary' life but he married his babysitter so you are in no doubt that despite all the frills they are not living much different a life to their fellow polygamists in the 'Compound'.

Whats everyone talking about?

Just to be clear I don't support Polygamy at all.

Maggs -Big Love is an HBO drama about a Polygamist family in Utah.

Sorry, but I feel it glamourises it. I lived in the Four Corners area, where polygamist communities are located - mostly b/c until recently they were left alone by state authorities.

NOTHING in that show portrays what those who have been unhappy in polygamist relationships go through. Physical abuse if very common and accepted.

And of course, many people will tell you they are happy in such ways of living b/c they've been indoctrinated into thinking it's okay to get 'married' when you're 14 to your half-uncle.

That fact they even HAD a babysitter is a laugh.

In the apartment couple where we lived was a couple who had literally fled from their families at 18 b/c they wanted to marry each other and not whom the elders chose for them - the girl managed to evade marriage till then by lying to everyone and pretending she hadn't had a period, thus was 'barren'.

They were chased out of state (Arizona) by a posse of her relatives trying to recapture them.

He was one of 36 children. She was one of 29.

I found it a very interesting and thought provoking drama, and I didn't expect it to be utterly accurate in its portrayal of modern day polygamists.

There's a fascinating review and comment thread on \link{http://www.blurbomat.com/archives/2006/06/29/some_thoughts_about_big_love\blurbomat} which is dooce's husband's blog.

Jax

Drat, got that link thing horribly wrong! Oh well, guess anyone who wants to read it can cut and paste

Expat do you believe that there are no polygamists who live a life anything like what is protrayed by the main family in Big Love? I came awy from the programme believing there was a lot of abuse toward the young particularly in the last episode. I'm no expert on the levels of polygamy practiced in Utah or anywhere else for that matter but the fact that it is driven underground makes sure that few of us ever will be.

'Expat do you believe that there are no polygamists who live a life anything like what is protrayed by the main family in Big Love?'

Yes, yes I do. These are bascially a relatively small group of people (some thousands perhaps) in the Four Corners area which is even now quite a closed community. All the other 'wives' but the first are not legally married to the man in question, and sometimes even the first wife as she is 'married' before she can legally do so.

This is a splinter group calling themselves Mormons who believe plural marriage is a route to heaven. It is a practice which has deep routes in their theology as they perceive it.

Their practice is VERY closely allied w/their religious beliefs in this life and, they feel, the next.

Along w/this goes the role of women and children and how they are brought up to believe this is the ONLY way to get to heaven.

This is not a culture in which Western love as most of us know it is seen as acceptable - as in, he 'fell in love' w/the babysitter. As these marriages are generally arranged by the council of elders and must be approved by them.

As for kids, the belief is that the more, the better your chances of entering the celestial kingdom.

'Nicky' wouldn't have to have a debate or talk w/her husband or his wives about having another baby. That'd be a given that she'd have as many as she could and enter the celestial kingdom.

In practice there is prevalent incest, child molestation (as girls are 'married' before they are the legal age to be married at all, even w/parental consent), domestic abuse, benefits fraud and often of incest.

therealpolygamy

This is what pol