Benefits street ep3

[JazzAnnNonMouse]

Anyone watching?

Yes I thought Becky would be better looking off work however dp was wondering if she was worried re leaving the kids as he clearly wouldn't cope.

Am I the only one thinking here that SS should be targeting the likes of white Dee for the way in which she clearly abuses her children ???

Dee's poor little boy. She's the self proclaimed mum of the stteet ehich exstreet

.... Which says a lot!

Watching on +1, finding it very sad viewing so far.

I am well aware that this programme is highly edited but you can't edit the mess and the fact that the childs feet were black with dirt. This family need an awful lot of help. They clearly love their children but this is no way for a child to grow up :(

when the series started i didnt take to white dee but others did

she think's she runs the street and nothing goes on without her knowledge

she think she's ma baker of birmingham

i suppose her putting herself up for the matriach of the street it gives her some authority and social standing in her eyes as outside that street shes a nobody pretty sad

thats my take

Another sad episode :(

Kids need boundaries and proper bedtimes and lots of love

The kids on the street are often neglected :( and surprised ss don't intervene after programmes like this / yes lots is edited

But they still swear at their kids lot
Look dirty /unwashed
Houses are very untidy and messy

Havnt seen a house that's tidy or clean yet

As I said last week is it coz they just can't be bothered or sunk so low that they don't care

Owing £3k in rent

I can understand that single parents can't work but why can't that couple?

And yes their living room seemed very tidy when hv there

Are there jobs in that area or is it they don't want to work!

Each week white dee seems worse :(

First week I thought she was ok and helpful

Last week a bully and kept telling her son off for swearing - yet that's all she does

We lived about ten minutes from that road up to a year ago. It is about 15 minutes from the city centre. There are hundreds of jobs doing different things and at different levels available. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink!

fwiw my cousins grew up vaguely similar. my aunt had constant men round, i used to go round there and more often than not she was in bed with a different man. my cousins were always filthy, as was her flat, rarely any food in the cupboards. my mum used to take food round there as did my grandma. i was very close with my cousins, i was only 5 ish but clearly remember the stuff that used to go on in that flat including domestic violence (sometimes with me trapped there). it was really upsetting. my aunty was cleared depressed. she used to be in bed whilst my younger cousin would be romaing around in his pj's in the snow (remember it well) whilst my other cousin was in her cut (11am) still hadn't had breakfast and in filthy nappies. my point is that they BOTH have good lives, all bit it a tricky path for one of them however they have good successful lives, they deserve a bloody medal for what they grew up with

I want to know why this is allowed to go on?

Why are those men being allowed to drink and smoke drugs on the street? Isn't that illegal?

What is all that rubbish doing on the street? Old sofas, bin bags etc.

Why are the parents allowing very, very young children to go out unsupervised when there are drunk/high people roaming around?

Why are they being so aggressive/swearing to and in front of these children? In the older children, it's clear they are mirroring the adults' attitudes/aggressiveness.

I found it really sad to see Becky being too scared to ask for help sooner because she was afraid of the authorities. And was relieved when they were offered professional advice. I just hope it continues.

I also found it horrible watching Tyrell's gran hanging up on Tyrell's mum during their phone call.

On a positive note, it was nice seeing Mark being proud of making his first CV and showing it to Callum.

But it didn't last long.

He really seems to love his family, but baulked at Becky's suggestion of getting a job. It seemed to me like he is lacking in self-confidence.

White and Black Dee both seem utterly vile from the footage that's been shown.

wintertime what do you think helped your cousins through this to make a success of their lives?

Just watched the last section.

I'm so happy that Mark got a job, but sad for him that it's commission-only.

Over the moon that Becky is using the advice given to her to help her children. Before, she just seemed lost. But it was nice seeing her take charge. Just goes to show what a bit of outsider help can do.

White Dee's reaction to the lost bike.

Did you see the surestart workers face when met with the dregs on the doorstep! I thought the way mark speaks to becky is a bit....threatening.

Why give mark a commission job only ie one that he has to sell /get people to donate - to earn any wages :(

Surely white dee allowing her 5yr? Son to go to the park alone and in the dark is neglect :(

I also thought the way mark spoke to Becky was intimidating and with venom. I was thinking 'oh no he's going to hit her' at one point
They have responded well to the parenting classes though and clearly love their children. I think they need some more classes and support perhaps with some councilling and if mark could get a job that isn't 100% commission and actually earns some money and self worth they would be much happier as a family.

White dee at first I thought she was a down to earth bubbly lady but as the series has progressed I'm seeing a lot of neglectful, abusive type behaviour. It did say that she suffers with depression so I wonder whether that coincided? My mum has depression but she never spoke to me like that though.

I wish someone would give that Mark a chance- his whole demeanor, even his walk was different when he had a job. He looked like he felt he was worth something.

I was a bit irked by them putting on the 'clean kids/clean house' show for the HV's though.

Every single family on that street seems to be prioritising their cigarettes and booze over their children.

Did anybody else think that Callum had a very mis-shapen head?

horse i don't think it was down to any one thing tbh. my cousin (boy) has had an awful life mentally because of what he experienced (drugs, mh issues) however he married very young to an older lady that really loves him. he is a struggling builder/not much money but has a really tight happy family life. my other cousin (lady) joined the army very young, was always clever and ended up studying and now has a really good medical related job. she never found lasting successful personal life however (won't go into it) which she puts down to mental scars from her upbringing. my aunty was pretty crap as a mother, you could write a book about their life with her, makes eastenders look tame, but my (lady) cousin has a lovely home/fancy car, all of which make her happy as she grew up with nout'. they had a good family behind them (my grandparents & my mother), that must have helped, plus of course they had me!!! (only jesting)

tire i agree, i thought mark was really good the way he did that job, he was polite, enthusiastic, articulate. i think he would shine in the right job. if i lived nearby and was watching, if i had a suitable job i would want to give him a chance. c'mon people..

i can't help feel sorry for white dee. she oozes depression. i can't see anyting about her life that is going to help it either. i feel sorry for her kids. her daughter looks so empty if you look at her face, i really feel sorry for the kids, that little boy was really howling when she was screaming at him about losing his bike. what bloody chance do they have? i think the daughter has more hope than her brother tbh

I wasn't impressed with the Surestart worker's costs bum face re the kids playing outside.It's hardly the fault of the parents if they live in an area filled with drug addicts,what are they supposed to do,lock their kids up 24/7?

I also think sitting outside on the sofa all day,I'd be doing the same in order to keep an eye on them.

The couple clearly have zero experience re parenting and maybe have a few learning issues,that isn't in their fault.I found/find parenting hard and I've had a secure upbringing and education.

Where is the support?

That said,no re the continual smoking.Their 3k in debt is probably 3k worth of nicotine at £8 a pack.

Oh and Dee needs to get off her backside.

I did think the Surestart worker did an excellent job though.

Every single family on that street seems to be prioritising their cigarettes and booze over their children

this is very similar to my own childhood (and childhood of my cousins on my mothers side). My mom is from a large family and a huge chunk spent most of adult life out of work and on benefits or working but cash in hand. (They actually all grew up around Winson Green in bham and my parents were married in the church that featured last week)

Everything seemed to revolve around alcohol- we wasnt 'abused' but I suppose nowadays SS would perhaps view some aspects of our living as 'neglect'.

Amazingly- bar a couple who got into drugs at an early age (including sadly my own brother)- my 'generation' of cousins have gone on to be successful for want of a better word. Most of us attended University (but as mature students- funding ourselves) to gain access to employment as Nurses, teachers, social workers. The males have tended to start their own businesses (landscape gardening, plastering, building etc)

As a group we are far more successful than our parents. I do think we must have all collectively agreed (telepathically!) that it wasnt the life for us and it certainly wouldnt be the life for my children.

My 13 year old son watched this with us last night and was aghast- he couldnt believe what he was seeing. I told him about my childhood - he asked why I am not like 'big dee' then - I dont know what the answer is really?

I think because Mark and his partner look so 'old' you forget that they were 17 when they had their first child- so kids themselves really.

Retro - I don't think expecting parents to keep their toddlers away from junkies is unreasonable actually!

Erm how do you do it when you live in a street filled with them and have limited outside space?

Think those if us living in our m/c bubbles aren't best placed to judge unless we live in a street filled with junkies and very little outside space ourselves.

I find it hard enough sheltering my dc from bully boy next door and his rabid pet dogs.I am lucky we have a good sized garden,a car and enough cash to take them out for the day.