Three day nanny! I'm not too keen are you?

[Ledkr]

She's not out Jo frost is she?

Watched this with my dd aged 14. First thing she said was that the bedtime routine both weeks was very cold - no story, no snuggle or settling down Jo Frost style. Some good ideas - but as others have said, a little unfeeling sometimes.

I missed the first episode but caught last nights. The kids didn't seem that bad, just having three under five must be knackering.

I hated the blanket statements though. Three year olds should be able to dress themselves. Really? All of them?

YOu may have seen a tiny clip at the end where you saw the dc putting on their coats the way children are taught in France and other parts of Europe ie lay them flat on the ground collar and arms nearest to your feet, zip/button side up. Difficult to describe but dc put arms in then lift whole thing over their heads and on ifyswim. Means v. young dc can do it.

Bollen that's how I teach children to put coats on and from 2ish or so

From 2.5/3 I expect most children to start trying to dress theirselves and can do easy clothes but obv I help them with what they can't

If the mum has never let them dress theirselves then will find hard as will anything they havnt done before but practise makes perfect

I thought this week's was a lot less bonkers than last and some of the ideas were really creative, especially the life size dolls. I really hope the dad manages to keep to his word re the smacking/barking orders but as fromparis says, you can't generally resolve a life-time of learned behaviour in 3 days. He was so scary and so nasty and I really felt for the Mum. OK she was a master of the 'idle threat' but he was really abusive and I wouldn't want my kids to be around him if there wasn't any long-lasting change.

I prefer this nanny to Jo Frost actually. The kids seem to respond to her better so far and I think she is better able to get down to their level and see things from a child's point of view.

I think she is irritating. She looks like something out of the 1950s with that stupid hair, and the little jacket, the bike and that bloody green case! OK it is all done for TV - she doesn't really ride around on a bike I'm sure.

You can't possible help someone to make significant changes in 3 days and I wonder if she's there that long as she always has the same dress on.

OK her message is fine - positive parenting - praising good behaviour is going to get better results. Distraction is another good idea. I know everyone has said about the knife and I think that was downright dangerous - and why bring to a 3 year olds notice that big knives are kept in the house.

Hmm my "kids" are in their 40s and all boys and I have to say that the best way of getting them "dry" was doing it in the summer so that they could just pull pants down and wee wherever in the garden. I never noticed any smell - urine is sterile isn't in and sinks into the ground anyway.

NO I didn't like the big aggressive dad but at least he had the courage to talk about how he was afraid of his father and was (as most of us do) parenting his children in the same way......hope the 3 days was enough to bring about change.

I prefer Jo Frost - she is a bit of a one trick pony (with that naughty step and apologies) but at least you could see what she was doing - this nanny just seems to waft around doing not very much.

Mind the best one of all was Professor Tanya Byron (she used to be on the House of Tiny Tearaways - a few years ago) and I thought she was really good and you could actually see the results before your eyes. I carried some of her tips with me and use them on my grandchildren with excellent effect! She was on a programme about bedtime earlier on this year but I think her talents weren't allowed to shine through as they were in the other programme.

My favorite bit was the play acting with the mother pretending to be asking for a jammie dodger.
"N: here you can choose between an orange or an apple.
M: oh i never thought of that, that's so amazing and it's healthy."

I was laughing thinking her kids would be wailing "jaaaammmmyyyy Dogeeerrrrrr!!!!!!" and chucking the orange at her if she tried it.

I didn't catch the first programme with the twins, but saw the triplet one and would agree that I'd be surprised if the improvements she brought about during her three days were actually sustainable in the longer term. The dad's behaviour and beliefs were pretty deeply ingrained...I am not sure that the three day intervention would be enough to change him without further ongoing support.

Was also a bit about the 'all children should be dressing themselves by three' thing.

NanaNina I am with you completely on Tanya Byron being the absolute best. I think the difference with her though is that she comes at it from the perspective of experienced child psychologist rather than know-it-all-nanny...her approach always seemed far more empathetic, more sensible, more considerate of why a particular family were in the situation they were in, than in the Supernanny type programmes which always seemed over-hammed up for dramatic effect.

I thought she was fantastic with the triplets and the posters seemed really committed to change. Those girls were gorgeous.

Just watched the second and third episodes on catch up. I didn't like the knives or the being put in their room screaming but I think a lot of what she says makes sense. I think she does talk to the parents to try and explain it from the kids perspective but I think she talks to us the viewer critisicing the parents in a way that doesn't seem very nice.

I guess the proof of the pudding is in the eating in that she arrives with a family in turmoil and unhappy and couples who are struggling and she leaves and things are better! So the parents are probably very happy to put up with a few comments for the sake of better family life.

Jo Frost also achieved good results but I think this woman is better (I think the bike is all part of an image - if you watch Nanny 911 they are all wearing capes!).

The best one was Tanya Byron! I miss her!

capes!

I wouldn't be happy with allowing a 3yr to go running down the pavemen with lots of traffic

Yes you need to allow children some trust and they need to learn boundaries but were quite far place markers

What wrong with children needing to learn to walk nicely beside you? mean nanny here lol

Running is for parks and gardens

And wtf at mum having a meltdown as we child falls over and cries

Sadly seems many dads don't spend more then a few hours total alone time :( same in my last job. Most time dad had the 3 and 1 yr old was 2hrs one Saturday totally alone :(

Still don't believe time out should be in bedrooms - too many distractions and you can see them

Far better to have naughty step /corner in room

Plus what happens if explodes when at a friends /out of the house - can't put then in someone else's bedroom

Also wonder if all the kids on the show behave like that at school and nursery - bet they don't !!!!

Therefore all the parents need to do is be firm - say no and carry it out and set limits for kids

Children know who is in authority and what they can get away with

the point is that they didn't run in the road. I think you are missing the point of what catherine is trying to do .she is very good -has way more understanding of children than supernanny.

he was 4 not 3

I think the advantage a nanny has in this situation, or a child care expert or whatever, is that they can see over the situation. Of course a parent is an expert in their own child and loves them more than anyone (hopefully) but sadly sometimes they can't set appropriate bounderies. I think that is why she said to the mum not to let the little oens see how upset she was. Not meaning never let them see you upset, but meaning don't let them see you upset in this situation, where you really should be able to put them to bed without crying yourself.

Having watched quite a few programmes like this (telly addict! ) I think there often is a reason parents do find it hard to discipline. In the case of the twin boys it was because they had been ill at birth that mum found it hard and the dad had been neglected as a child. In the case iwt the triplets the dad has been parented in such a way he was scared of his own dad, so he was reproducing that kind of scary parenting!

Having watched all three episodes the one with the twins was the worst, several things I did not agree about, but I think peeing at the tree was a temporary thing to get the kids being open about peeing standing up (not having a boy I have no idea how hard it is to 'teach' that!)

I think the programme shows that the parents can drive the change in the family, if they change how they parent then they will get different results. I know this to be the case form my own parenting and dealing with problems. I think the quirky bits about her are just a distraction and the slagging off the parents is really for the TV programme, but the advice and the way she talk s to the kids (to me) sounds very good, positive parenting and chlld-centrered with bounderies. The no more carrying or mummy-up was (I think to help the kids to learn to be more independant) and when the dad had to carry one child up he did. I guess it is interesting when they say twins of 3 it does make a huge difference if they are 3 and a day and just out of nappies or 3 and 11 months and almost at the point at which they could go to school! And some kids might be very mature at three and others not at all, but the boys responded to it well.

I agree, Italiangreyhound - I think that so many of us get into a situation where we can't see the wood for the trees, and seeing the way out of the problems is nigh impossible.

I also think that whatever parenting solution you implement is going to be waaay easier with another adult around who is less emotionally involved than the parents, and who is probably less knackered by the whole thing too.

I was aghast at the 'Mummy's never picking you up again' thing too. What if one of them falls over and hurts themselves, or if one of them is ill - who wouldn't carry a poorly child upstairs to bed?

Rather than the 'never picking you up' message, I would have said something positive like 'You are such big boys now that you can walk upstairs all on your own' - alongside a firm refusal to pick them up and an equally firm insistence that they walk upstairs on their own.

'I was aghast at the 'Mummy's never picking you up again' thing too'

but she was carrying him in the interview at the end, and at the same time sying she didn't carry him anymore

Anyone watched this weeks?

I felt sad for the mum, she was obviously extremely upset at the ending of her relationship and over compensated with the boys which had caused the problems.

Glad to see a positive result as those boys seemed really lovely and sweet!

I quite like this. I must be a harsh mum

I think the focus on the parenting by the parents, rather than the child, is often what's needed, and I see things on programmes like this that I do take away. Watching this I've realised that I do the 'no, you're not having it' without any real explanation or distraction so I'm making a real effort there, because that strikes me as a really useful tip.

However, I get all "no!" at anything that contradicts Supernanny - I think I've had Supernanny instilled into me from watching it too much, I caught an episode the other day and realised that 3/4 of what I instinctively do with DD is actually stuff I've picked up from Jo Frost

Her stylist needs sacking, but what she says makes sense.

I tried the tip from the second episode, with the marbles at dinner time, and it's really helped my dc to get better at using cutlery.

I do get the rage though, when she goes off on her bike without a helmet!

is it not on tonight?