there's lovely, it's bonnie's diary
Day one - big problems with the costume. Me waterfall cardi got snagged on a dancer. Luckily I've a spare half dozen. Lots of interviews, never heard of some of these countries. One cheeky fucker thought I was Katherine Jenkins' mum! So I killed him
Day two -full day of face plumping and polishing. Tom Jones has lent me some big pants to wear on the night. Thanks Tom! Can almost move my forehead - must be a good omen
Day three - performance, woo hoo! Forty fags, half a lager and lime and I'm ready. I only wish the boyos had let me have the staging I wanted. I don't think I'm too old to straddle a Harley suspended from the ceiling, do you? Exactly. Love you all. Hold out for a hero