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i never said yes

8 replies

TheSinglePringle · 28/03/2012 21:01

Anyone going to watch it?

I am but don't know if ill be able to sit through it all

OP posts:
sozzledchops · 28/03/2012 21:57

Very depressing, but sadly not surprised.

Rhksmum · 29/03/2012 19:44

Was very hard to watch :(

limitedperiodonly · 30/03/2012 08:21

It didn't tell me anything I didn't know but then I'm not BBC Three's target viewer so guess it wasn't aimed at me. I couldn't work out who it was aimed at though.

It could have explored why many young women think unwanted sexual contact isn't assault or rape whether it happens to them or someone else. I would have like the presenter to have talked to young women about their attitudes to young men and women - some women are shockingly compliant and victim-blamers and it starts young.

The sequence where she talked to young men was weak. She didn't challenge them on their opinions or make them question them with proper debate. I cringed when she was grinning at them. Why was she doing that?

It was childish to have a go at the defence barrister. I believe she even came out with the 'how do you sleep at night?' line. He's working within the system. It would have been better if she'd have discussed the system with him and the prejudices of jurors and put the same points to the woman from the CPS rather than asking her questions about specific cases that she obviously could not answer.

I also got fed up with her flouncing up and down corridors wearing her Angry Face.

Rhksmum · 30/03/2012 11:47

limited can I ask were you watching it as someone who had had it happen to them?
Just wondered if the response would be different.
I have been r@ped and I did find it distressing to watch, but reading your points I can see where you coming from to and where the program went wrong in places now.

Not sure if this is making sense Confused

JuliaScurr · 30/03/2012 11:55

limited fair points. I still thought it was a good introduction to the debate, challenging a few misconceptions in a way quite accessible to the target audience

limitedperiodonly · 30/03/2012 21:04

rhyksmum So sorry for what happened to you. You're making perfect sense to me.

I'm coming from this from the POV of a woman and a journalist. The programme and the presenter may have been well-intentioned but it was very bad. It was an hour on the BBC fgs. She may have been passionate about the issue but she should have thought about it.

I've never been raped. Have experienced the pressure to put out as a teenager but not that badly because I was not in with the in-crowd, which protected me - though I didn't realise it, or appreciate it, then.

I don't like pressure on any women to behave in a certain way but recognise it has inadvertent advantages.

I was never in the kind of culture of the young woman who was attacked by multiple rapists. I have experienced sexual assault that I didn't realise was assault as well as pressure and judgement by men and women. Don't we all?

That's what I meant when I said there were too many threads. Multiple rapists, the attitudes of women, the attitudes of men, stranger rape, acquaintance rape, attitudes of jurors and society.

It was all done in an hour. She could have handled one issue properly in 30 minutes if she'd have resisted the temptation to march up and down and emote.

Julia I agree. BBC3 was an excellent opportunity for this kind of issue. But something targeted at making young women question why they do things that men want them to do and why they care so much about the opinions of their peers -both men and women.

Sadly, I don't think a programme with 'rape' in the title will appeal to men. But slowly, slowly...

limitedperiodonly · 30/03/2012 21:13

Sorry, I meant But something targeted at making young women question why they do things that men want them to do and why they care so much about the opinions of their peers - both men and women - would have been good.

We struggle enough in so many ways against men so I'm not letting them off. If someone wants to make a programme on the attitudes of men I'd readily watch it.

But I'd like to see something asking women why we believe the things we do, why we have a need to blame other women for the actions of men and to make us face it and call men on it.

That's not me blaming women, that's me saying: 'Come on. We have to take control if anything's ever going to change.

limitedperiodonly · 30/03/2012 22:13

I commented on this programme in Feminism and thought the replies were from there. That's in case it doesn't make sense.

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