Anyone else watching "Granny's moving in" on BBC2?

[cambridgeferret]

I'm finding it quite depressing - can't help thinking that the daughter's a bit patronising to the mother.
But never having had a family member with dementia I'm open to other opinions.

I'm watching, I think Peggy's fab! I'm sure it would drive you insane all day every day though. Lovely old man who was her dance partner, hope I have as much as them going on when I get to that age. Have been having a laugh and a cry at it.

"I think you left a wet patch on that bed " - oh god - is this what we are all destined for?

Peggy is fab but no I couldn`t cope.

Oh God, she's ace! I'm laughing and crying at the same time. She's a lovely old lady.
Does make me wonder what it'll be like when I get older though.

Watching it with DS aged 15 and he said 'that'll be you mum'!!

Poor old lady being called stupid and childish

But then I love old people and have all the time in the world for them

I love the dancing! I know it's patronising but bless them!

I did wonde rif she'd have been better in a sheltered accommodation type place (not sure if one was available) where she'd have more people her generation around her, 'cause she was quite a social type, wasn't she?

She seemed to be deteriorating quite rapidly and I don't think she'd have lasted long in sheletered accom. She wasn't safe with an oven, didn't wash her clothes, sounded like she had to be pushed to bathe and I suspect will soon be getting lost whenever she ventured outside.
A good residential home with activities may have suited her, although she may just end up continually fighting with staff and other residents.
I think her daughter and son in law were very patient with her, suspect she'd be entertaining for 10 minutes and hard work after that as very self centred and impossible to reason with.
I think the daughter didn't patronise her enough, she kept asking her to make decisions and do things she was no longer capable of (packing, choosing a bed). Felt very sorry for the bloke in the bed shop left with urine stained bed no-one apaologised for.

I would love to see a follow up, I cannot see Peggy coping in seperate accomodation much longer

I thought it was a really thoughtful film. I thought the daughter and her husband were wonderful. And Peggy. Was such a hard situation for them all. I didn't think they were patronising at all on balance.

That last scene when they were all looking out for their respective windows brought a tear to my eye

out OF their windows

I watched it and it really struck a chord. My mum is just like Peggy, she is 85 and has alzheimers, still lives on her own and goes out for the day, all day, like Peggy does. Chats to strangers, usually saying very inappropriate things, doesn't get lost fortunately, yet. Very vulnerable.

I thought the daughter and son in law were fabulous, I could not have mum living with us. I know as lovely as my DH is, it would end up being my marriage or my mum. I do my best to help mum but drawn the line at her moving in, it just wouldn't work.

Peggy was lovely, what a character.

It puts a huge strain on the family which is why I would like to see a follow up

I think a lot of people have slightly rose-tinted view of what caring for someone with dementia entails.

A good nursing home with anteam of professional staff is far better than a family struggling 24/7.

The end was so touching - "I think I've got the best daughter in the world".

Peggy reminded me of my MIL, giggling when she thinks she has been naughty, burping and worse.

All were trying their best but it must be so tough. A friend's mother told her daughter to put her in a home when the time comes as she had spent years of her life nursing her own mother and didn't want to put her daughter through it.

The difficulty is, knowing when to say enough is enough. My MIL let someone in the other day but has no idea who he was or why he was there! Trouble is she can still do most things for herself so sheltered accommodation may be best but it is very difficult to get.

Until recently I looked after my elderly mother (she's 80, was 40 when I came along - I'm an only child.) I think it is easy to say and expect your loved ones to take on such a massive job without understanding the full impact of being a carer.

In the end looking after mum, my dts, working, became too much and I crashed and burned. Carers get no help unless they know what to ask for, the social worker I had was excellent at making me feel guilty over not being able to cope. It can be very lonely and frustrating.

I've already said to my dts I would not put them through the emotional wreckage that I went through. Pick a nice nursing home with a good view and I'll be fine.

Agree my kids know I don't want heroics when i am old and intend making a living will so I'm not kept alive with endless antibiotics, statins and flu injections when my mind has gone.
Find me a nice home and visit me whilst I recognise you is all I want.

I can't really agree with the nursing home bit Highlander and I am speaking from experience However, you are spot on about the care a person needs who has dementia