BORN TO BE DIFFERENT is back on.

[TheOriginalFAB]

This Thursday at 9pm on channel four.

You say you didnt, but i struggle to believe you. Ijust think you are covering your back because of the strength of feeling against your comments.

Believe what you like, it's obvious what happened.

Personally, if I had hurt and upset a lot of people, I'd be apologising, not laying into them i.e: 'you're proud of this assumption then?' etc

And certainly not using the word which caused offence again and again.

How about being grown up and apologising? Anyone can see you upset a lot of people with disabled children.

You're being offensive whatever you say.

You're being an arse.

I cant believe it......... the silly woman has repeated her remark on my thread!!!! I have reported it and her again!!!!

Catsmilk, don't you think that the fact that so many parents of disabled children love this programme suggests that it ISN'T portraying similar children as a 'freakshow'?

It's just normal life, our style, in fact.

You seem to see yourself as a spokesperson for disabled people. You are not.

I do not understand why you use 'Freak like Me' as an example. It has nothing to do with SN or disability. It is about people who have freakish habits. They are self defining their habits/lifestyles as 'freakish'.

I think that parents of children with disabilities and those with disabilities themselves are more than capable of sniffing out exploitative media. We really dont need you to educate us.

BTBD is a shining light in a world of medical/tragedy/deficit models of disabiity.

It shows the daily lives of families living with a wide variety of disabilities. It doesnt portray parents as heros nor children as brave little soldiers. It doesnt gloss over how difficult life can be with a severely disabled child yet it shows how much they can bring to family life.

If you truly meant your comment to be informative please tell us how and why BTBD should be avoided.

I am not sure what is more offensive tbh. The idea that you were calling kids with SN freaks or your massive misjugdment and insistance that you are right.

She's said sorry a number of times, explained what she actually ment and is now defending herself from pages/threads of hurtful comments. (Im talking about this thread and the one in chat)

Personally if someone doesnt get their point across clearly and people misunderstand it, when they say ''look I didnt mean that I ment this, sorry for any upset Ive caused'' surely that should be the end of it?

I can see why people on both sides are upset, but does being upset give you the right to lynch someone over comments that you 'choose' not to believe.

Im not very articulate(hoping someone gets what im trying to say) and Im sorry people are upset and I dont wish to make it any worse. But I feel this is getting out of hand and the longer it goes on the more upset/worked up people will get.

She isnt being lynched.

She is being pulled up.

When you use words like freak in this context you should expect that.

What did the poster expect from her post? Applause?

I am now interested in why she feels so strongly about BTBD. Genuinely interested. As well has having a disabled child and working with disabled children I studying this subject. I would like to know why someone feels this strongly about a programme that I feel sets a good example.

She may even persaude me.

I assumed(just guessing) that she had a glimpse at the program and pre judged it without actually knowing what it was really about or how people were portrayed. So a comment based on lack of information?

Im not saying this is what happened but how I thought it went down.

That could be true. In which case I am sure she was taken aback at the strength of the comments.

This is unfortunate and people have apolgised. If her comment was not purposely offensive it was insensitive and woefully misjudged.

But I am still prepared to listen to the reasons why she feels BTBD is a freak show.

Again - genuinely.

I have never watched this programe, is it good?
might give it try sometime.

I apologise for my comments about you Catmilk - I didn't mean them to be as offensive as they appear believe it or not. I was angry and posted when perhaps it would have been better to walk away. When I calmed down I did defend you as I began to wonder if you had meant the comment in the way it had been read or if you were commenting on the fact that TV shows can be voyeuristic (and evidently that IS what you meant). It appears this programme is not like that though.

"You seem to see yourself as a spokesperson for disabled people. You are not."

Of course I don't, of course I'm not. You could make anyone who is offended by something that doesn't directly affect them seem silly by saying 'you seem to think you are the spokesmen on this issue.'

"I do not understand why you use 'Freak like Me' as an example. It has nothing to do with SN or disability. It is about people who have freakish habits. They are self defining their habits/lifestyles as 'freakish'."

Good point, I'd forgotten the nature of that show and had misremembered it as another 'sensitive' look at people with horrific burns or extra toes etc that Channel Four churns out these days.

"I think that parents of children with disabilities and those with disabilities themselves are more than capable of sniffing out exploitative media. We really dont need you to educate us."

I'm hardly starting a pressure group, I made a post on an internet site about a tv show I felt was part of a distasteful, exploitative trend.

"BTBD is a shining light in a world of medical/tragedy/deficit models of disabiity.

It shows the daily lives of families living with a wide variety of disabilities. It doesnt portray parents as heros nor children as brave little soldiers. It doesnt gloss over how difficult life can be with a severely disabled child yet it shows how much they can bring to family life.

If you truly meant your comment to be informative please tell us how and why BTBD should be avoided."

I have stated several times now on this thread and the one started about my post that, according to most of its defenders, I probably picked the wrong show to single out as an epitome of exploitative 'aren't they brave' schlock - however I do think the ads for it, showing the parents crying, etc, were designed to reel in some of that audience.

"I am not sure what is more offensive tbh. The idea that you were calling kids with SN freaks or your massive misjugdment and insistance that you are right."

I chose your post to answer because it was the least silly and asked genuine questions, but with your last line you have joined the ranks of those who are still claiming, despite the evidence, that I have called any kids freaks. Neither am I blithely insisting I was right, I have apologised for unintentional offence, something that again many people are refusing to accept - thankyou to those who have pointed this out - and have said, as I have again here, that perhaps I have wrongly put BTBD in the same camp as the shows that are, IMO, exploitative and questionable.

What I am taking an issue with are those who refuse to accept they misunderstood me, are still repeating the slur that I hate disabled kids and call them names, are ignoring the quotes and links from various respected sources expressing similar views and using the same terminology, and just want to give me a good kicking. I laugh at their 'righteous fury', and will not shy from pointing out that they are the ones who should be ashamed of themselves, e-lynching someone for being anti-disablist when it is obviously not the case.

Thanks Dilly.

I dont think you hate disabled kids. Not now. But you cannot blame people for thinking that originally. Your post was ridiculous.

I dont think you have to be disabled to make comments, far from it. You did seem to be insisting that you were right in the face of many people who are disabled pointing out that you were not.

I am fully prepared to accept that you made a badly worded post. I would much prefer to believe that than the alternative tbh.

There is also anger because your post was left unmoderated and to many that showed a lack understanding on behalf of MNHQ.

It seems that, boiled down, you made a rash comment using provocative language based on very little information. When challenged you were [understandably] which came across as arrogance to many readers.

You have now clarified that you did not mean that children with SN are freaks. You have also clarified that you based your opinion on a glimpse of a trailer for this programme.

Several posters have apologised to you, several are still slighty dubious.

You have not been lynched, or kicked.

I havent joined any 'ranks' . there are no 'ranks'. We dont all know each other and meet up in secret to discuss our next witch hunt.

understandbly 'defensive'

"I dont think you hate disabled kids. Not now. But you cannot blame people for thinking that originally. Your post was ridiculous."

My post was not ridiculous by an means. Neither was it badly worded. It made a clear point and made it well. In fact I'd even go so far as to say it would make an ideal test for 15 year olds basic reading comprehension skills...

Do you think -
a. This person is calling disabled kids 'freaks'?
b. This person is attacking this type of programme for it's duplicity?
c. I'm not sure but everyone else seems sure it's bad so i'm gonna copy what they say!

"I dont think you have to be disabled to make comments, far from it. You did seem to be insisting that you were right in the face of many people who are disabled pointing out that you were not."

If you read back the thread you will see how things 'seemed' to you were not the case. You are still of the mind that even many many people spat venom at me based on their poor reading skills/love of an ill-informed moral panic with hunt, now that a couple have apologised, I am to apologise repeatedly and not expect any of the more vicious attackers to step up and admit their error and apologize to me. When all I did was criticize tv shows and their dubious, voyeuristic tv shows, and what they did was call me someone who calls disabled kids freaks - a terrible accusation, I'm sure you'd agree.

"I am fully prepared to accept that you made a badly worded post. I would much prefer to believe that than the alternative tbh."

The 'fully prepared' is somewhat undermined by the doubt expressed after when you admit that is what you'd 'like to believe' more than the alternative - the alternative being patently the case.

"There is also anger because your post was left unmoderated and to many that showed a lack understanding on behalf of MNHQ."

Not my fault.

"It seems that, boiled down, you made a rash comment using provocative language based on very little information. When challenged you were [understandably] which came across as arrogance to many readers."

I apologized for unintentional offence and clarified myself. I stand by my assertion that what I meant was obvious in my first post, and perhaps what happened was that my accusation that many of the viewers of these shows were watching them for voyeuristic reasons hit a nerve, and I was to be punished for puncturing the warm hypocrisy with which they gawped 'sympathetically' at the worlds fattest baby with a tail or whatever..

"You have now clarified that you did not mean that children with SN are freaks. You have also clarified that you based your opinion on a glimpse of a trailer for this programme."

Yeah. Reckon my name's dirt around here from now on anyway...

"Several posters have apologised to you, several are still slighty dubious."

The dubious ones have more pride and stubbornness, and perhaps a penchant for mass-attack than reason in their heads.

"You have not been lynched, or kicked."

Metaphorically, yes I have. Not that it hurt much, being a metaphorical kicking as opposed to a literal one, but still - that's what happened. Read the posts about me here and on the other thread. Seven pages of abuse, maybe two apologies since.

"I havent joined any 'ranks' . there are no 'ranks'. We dont all know each other and meet up in secret to discuss our next witch hunt."

Again, stop using my use of the term ranks so literally and you did indeed side with those still peddling lies about me when you claimed I called sick kids 'freaks.'

Oh do give over.

You made a stupid post.

You upset people.

They called you on it.

Deal with it.

Or not.

The reason you were rounded on - families that have a child with a disability will more than likely watch BTBD - many from the beginning. We have seen the programme and have enjoyed watching families 'like us'

We have seen that this programme is sensitively put together and is not one of 'those' shows you are so against. We KNOW this programme.

Your comments were out of line no matter what was meant by you. You assumed that a programme that followed disabled children would be a freak show - why? I haven't ever seen a show about disabled youngsters that put forward a freak aspect in any way before - why do you think this way?

You also said it was a guise for look at how 'fantastic' these parents are - in a very sarky way (can't remember your exact words but that was the gist)

Parents who parent a SN child ARE fantastic - we battle for everything, we cry and laugh at our day, we relish in the smallest achievement our child makes, we accept difference, most of us are on our knees from fighting and lack of sleep - why is that a bad thing and why shouldn't it be shown??

You avoided all my points. But you insist on having the last word anyone, however trite.

I made an intelligent, well-wriiten, witty, succinct post

It went over the heads of many who misy=understood it because they aren't sophisticated.

They upset themselves because they couldn't process an opinion not presented in a way that had been dumbed down to their level.

They worked themselves up into a huge tizzie, demanding my post be deleted and sending me abusive PMs and attacking me over 7 pages. Because THEY were mistaken.

I am dealing with it. I'll remind you that YOU haven't been accused of calling disabled kids 'freaks.'

Really, this is similar (if far less important of course) as that time when those anti-paedophile protesters attacked a paediatrician because they were too ignorant to know the difference. And after, if they'd blamed the paediatrician for using ''poor wording' and that they were still glad they made a stand, and that the paediatrician could whistle if he thought he was going to get an apology, then it would be just like this.

Scared of love, please read my previous posts and some of the links I attached. I have answered your questions quite fully already.