Neil Morrissey - Care Home Kid.

[shimmerysilverglitter]

Did anyone watch this? Absolutely heartbreaking .

Glad you had a happy experience, Tony. Wish it could have been the same for everyone.

he seemed very sad

mothers that leave their children are shites

Just watched this, having seen the first one on Monday. I found it very affecting. Deep admiration for Neil Morrissey, for his strength and empathy, and for broadening it to look at the plight of all care home kids, not just his own situation. Very moving indeed.

i agree but just felt a deep sorrow emanating from his every pore

Watched it tonight. Very moving scene with his foster family when he cried.
Also him and his son talking, his son is very similar to him in looks.
He talks in a detached way (coping strategy I guess) about being abandoned by his mother in particular. He has come a long way considering his traumatic upbringing.

NotaMopsa, I agree, he does seem ever so sad. I think it's his eyes. He has been very strong in his life hasn't he? Imagine putting up a notice asking someone/anyone to foster you? And then arriving to the college with no money whatsoever. He deserves whatever success he has had in his life. And I can see how his experiences would (could) have had a lasting affect on his handling of his love life. Though I know little or nothing about that. How utterly sad for his brother steve. What a life

I felt so sorry for those 2 girls tonight who were in care because their mum was too sick to look after them. All these years since neil's days and it's still shit.

I always had a soft spot for him tbh. I have a huge amount of respect for him now. I think he was very brave to make the programme.

Those homes are so sad but the staff do really try. I work as a foster carer and I went to help out at a care home for a day. One little boy didn't leave my side and when we went out shopping he kept holding my hand.
When we returned from shopping one of the staff took me to one side for a quiet word. He told me the child knew I was a foster carer and thought I'd come to pick a new child. He wanted to be in a proper home so stuck with me so I might pick him.
He was only 8.

darn, I missed it! Was working late and when I came out dh had some crap on.

Was anything more said about Neil's brother - the one who went into care at the same time? From the first programme, it sounded horribly as if he might have been a suicide (hope not but narrative looked like it was heading in that direction).

Do admire NM for making this programme.

That must have been a relief for NM (what the copper said, not the accident, obviously...).

PSiloveyou that is heartbreaking. You just brought tears to my eyes.

There was a programme on last year tracing the children in a children's home photograph. That was sad beyond belief too. I thought NM was really forgiving.

Only saw a bit but was so sad - wanted to hug him when I've always thought previously he was a bit of an arse to women

Best documentary Ive seen in a long time. No artifical tears or hysteria - just very honest story telling.

I was really interested in how his memory was so different to the reality - his petty mischief was actually systematically stealing, and the house was ,according to the adults, really not okay for children. Also, he sat shouting for his parents when they left the children alone, so much so that the neighbours came round - it was so at odds with his disbelief that anyone would have put him into care, must have been a shock.

Grumpypants

I suspect that it's easier for him to blame the courts and social workers then his parents neglect.

Edam I'm sure they said he committed suicide, I was woundering if it was because of now known sexual/physical abuse at the remand centre his brother was sent to.

I found it interesting as well that he put all the blame on social workers. He didn't seem to feel his parents neglect was to blame at all for his situation. I see that so often. No matter how badly they have been treated children always love their parents.

Watched it with DH, whose mum walked out on the family when he was 10, left home at 16 and drifted for a couple of years. Then saved up money for a train ticket and left for London. Walked into a restaurant got a job as a pot washer, then went and got a bedsit.
Didn't see his family for 25 years.

I recognised a lot of the abandonment symptoms in DH - shutting down, clingy (doing everything to maintain the relationship) and the amount of times I have had to say - "I am not your mum I am not going to abandon you / the kids"

Suspect Neil might have had some therapy to get rid of all the anger - DH had some very good therapy and he has put a lot of his issues to rest.

But out of the abandonment DH is incredibly inventive and creative, huge amount of get up and go when he needs to, good at making friends (though not good at maintaining them). Stability and solidity - NO.

Oh my word psiloveyou, I'm blubbing my eyes out.

It is very sad tiger. What is sadder though is that little boy and all the others in the home had already been in many foster placements. They have been so damaged that they can't live in a normal family. That child had been in at least 4 placements but they all broke down because of his extreme behaviour.

Sometimes it's easier for them to cope in a care home where the staff don't try to be a proper family. They just can't cope with the closeness and trust of normal families.

moid I was 11 when my mum left home, my brother was 8. We were lucky in that my paternal GPs backed up my Dad (worked full-time) but I still struggle to trust and feel fully comfortable with other women. I feel guilty actually as I have some great friends. I do have a 'good' relationship with my mum now but I will never be 100% able to love or trust her - I always feel that I am holding something back - and my brother sees her once or twice a year. It's a weird thing to know, that the one person who is supposed to always be there, doesn't actually want you or like you enough to keep you with them. I am sure your DH knows how great you are though, it must feel like an uphill battle for you at times.

It took me four days to watch the two episodes, as I knew it would bring back painful memories for me- my entire childhood was spent in care, both in residential and foster placements.

I wish I knew how to contact Neil Morrissey, to say thanks, as everything he said absolutely rang true for me. For years, I have struggled to understand why I feel the way I do about certain things, and watching his programme I suddenly felt that I was alone no more. I know it probably sounds dead corny, but it was like the people on the tele speaking my own thoughts!
I feel like making everyone in my life, who doesn't understand why I worry about seemingly insignificant things, sit down to watch it and say that this is the reason.
I sincerely hope that all those who shared their stories in this programme (and on the thread here) can find some peace with their past- I am still searching, but maybe one day!

qof you could google for his agent's name and write c/o them

queenoffairies - it doesn't sound corny to me at all.
I wasn't brought up in care, but did have some difficult childhood times. For many years I was very hard on myself and would not/could not acknowledge that things had had an impact on me.
Some of us here would understand the "seemingly insignificant things" that worry you.
Sending best wishes to you.