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Original poster

Panorama: Britains missing dads

49 replies

sevendwarves · 17/01/2011 20:52

I was starting to think how nice it was to see something not showing single mothers in a bad light, until it basically said that the benefits system is an incentive for young mothers to stay single.

WTF? Surely single mums don't just choose to split up with their DC's dads for the extra benefits they can claim?!

OP posts:

TwoIfBySea · 18/01/2011 12:56

Journey, you only get that kind of money if you are a benefits player, which some of them are. The kind of family where they are now on the third and fourth generation of being on benefits.

I was on them for a couple of years until I got my act together from the break up and got my job. I hated it even though I'd worked from leaving school so was really only using them the way they are supposed to be used.

Sadly though a lot of my old neighbours found my desire to get out there and get working completely bizarre. Even more bizarre was the fact that although they gave me tips and hints I wouldn't go on disability - there was nothing wrong with me.

Again by spouting nonsense about poverty everyone pretends this doesn't go on at the scale it is.

Violethill · 18/01/2011 20:15

Can anyone clarify the financial side??

One girl in the programme who was living with her baby and her half sister said she received £250 pr week in benefits plus her rent paid (3 bed house- she mentioned she'd been moved from a two bed now her half sister was over 10 and couldn't share with the baby). So that's 12k a year tax free, as well as rent being paid ( perhaps another 5k at a conservative guess) . So thats 17k per annum. To earn that as a net income you'd need to be earning, what?? About 23k?
If this is true, then its truly shocking, and you can totally see why tax payers are sick to death.

theywillgrowup · 18/01/2011 20:30

violethill well im a single parent on benefit with 3dcs and dont get that,less infact

Violethill · 18/01/2011 20:42

That's why I am asking.

We can only assume the information the girl is saying is accurate. She agreed that she can manage perfectly well, and that her benefits are indeed generous. And several people in the programme said that they had no incentive to move in with the other parent of the child, because it would be financially a disadvantage. So something must be very wrong somewhere.

Boohooyou · 18/01/2011 20:44

Violet - i couldn't believe how much she got either
£1000 per month to feed and clothe 3 dc's .
I'm a single mom, I work but get working tax credit.
I get nowhere near that amount and have to pay my own mortgage (it's a low mortgage luckily)
I only have 1 ds though.

susiedaisy · 18/01/2011 20:46

after 17 years of marriage i am now a single parent claiming tax credits as well as working partime, never ever thought i would become a single parent at the grand old age of 40 but hey ho theses things happen, which pigeon hole would some of you like to put me in??

Violethill · 18/01/2011 20:49

It was only two dc's too: the young mother, her ten year old half sister, and a baby (very young so would be only drinking milk). So we're not taling excessive food bills. The half sister would get free school lunches too. £1000 per month plus your housing costs paid, for a 3 bed house (plus of course any add ons like free prescriptions) does indeed seem to be way more than many working people have to survive on.

Violethill · 18/01/2011 20:49

talking

theywillgrowup · 18/01/2011 20:53

boohooyou with respect its a bit more than feeding and clothing 3dcs

actually if the lady in programme is including herself in the figures then yes about right

65 a week income support for mother
136 a week tax credit for 3dcs
46 a week child benefit for 3dcs

yes rent and council tax paid but alot of people have to pay a top up on rent each month which will come out of their benefit

so for 3dcs and an adult a smidge under £250

LuckyLillian · 18/01/2011 20:59

Violet there was a toddler there too IIRC.
Journey my H did a runner leaving me with my DCs, why should I get less help than a couple just because the father of my children unexpectedly turned out to be a selfish twat?

Remotew · 18/01/2011 21:01

Yes, I was shocked when she said she received £250 per week after rent and presumably council tax. That was for herself, 3 DC's and would include cb. Are those figures correct? It would be around 24K gross at least.

No wonder there is no incentive to live together legally or get a job and when they change the rules and ask single parents to come off IS and look for work then that's another incentive to keep having children, so not very well thought out.

Remotew · 18/01/2011 21:04

X post, can see that the figures add up.

theywillgrowup · 18/01/2011 21:07

if u look at my figures and circumstances thats what im entitled to,not much different to the lady on the tv programme

my housing does not have a top up as i own my house outright,so in a way im saving the council ££££££ each month as if i was privatley renting a 3bed house round here the going rate is £900

LisasCat · 18/01/2011 21:10

DP and I were apart for the first 2 years of DD's life. Although I had a full time job, I was still entitled to tax credits. When he and I got back together we delayed moving in together, because we calculated we would be £400/month worse off. We did it because it was more important for us to be a family, but for a couple already struggling financially, of course it makes sense to live apart.

theywillgrowup · 18/01/2011 21:15

believe you me,i would rather be in a committed relationship than being a single parent on benefit

though dosent seem right to be better of single rather than a couple,until this is tackled nothing will change and the cycle will continue,not sure how this can be reversed though

Remotew · 18/01/2011 21:19

In some cases though as long as the partner can provide another address they are probably single parents on paper only and the partner may be living there, perhaps on benefits and earning cash in hand, it's what is called playing the system.

I don't know what the answer is. Many women are alone though and claiming legitimately. If they were told to get a min wage job at 16 hrs then they would still need a lot of support in benefits anyway. You cannot let children suffer in poverty.

Boohooyou · 18/01/2011 21:37

theywillgrowup those are the words she used and she said she could easily get by.

theywillgrowup · 18/01/2011 21:45

suppose its what you want out of life for you and your kids,suppose if you dont no any different then you dont feel maybe the same as somebody that maybe lived with a partner and had a combined income which coulkd provide a better standard of living

havent worded it well but im sure you know what i mean

Boohooyou · 18/01/2011 22:07

Yes I think I do !
I think most or at least alot are single through circumstance rather than choice.
I kmow my life would be a hell of a lot easier if I had a loving husband on the scene!

ronshar · 19/01/2011 12:15

Cabbagefromababy. I am sorry if I offended you. I havent been on the computer since Monday so have just seen your post.
I didn't intend for my remark to be taken personnally by any one poster on this thread. It was very clearly made in reference to the girls on the programme.
Is it not a bit stupid to get yourself pregnant several times, by different men with no means to support yourself? Have these girls not heard of the coil etc?

I am most definetly not talking about those women who are in committed relationships who then get betrayed by their partners and left with small children.

I dont think I am smug or whatever else it was someone said. We all find ourselves in situations not of our chosing in life and it is up to us to make the best of it. I was almost in the postion of being a single parent, to three children, last year and to be honest it terrified the life out of me.

I do find it hard that there is a generation of young men and women who think it is acceptable to have to morals of alley cats and expect the state to clear up after them!!!

CabbagefromaBaby · 19/01/2011 13:21

Thankyou so much, I do appreciate your apology and I think I understand what you mean.

perhaps I and some of the other posters should not have taken it personally, but it is very hard to see single parents stereotyped and criticised by those who do not fully understand their circumstances.

There is a problem but you have to be very careful about generalising - hope that makes sense.

ronshar · 19/01/2011 21:10

Thank you, you are most gracious.

I do realise that generalising is dangerous because many more people do not fit in with a sterotype than do.

I was trying to stay on the subject of the programme.

I am sorry if you felt it was aimed at you personnally.

CabbagefromaBaby · 20/01/2011 06:04

No worries. Never been called Gracious, that's made my week!

dadaz · 05/02/2011 02:28

Without stating the obvious.

The "Couples" shown on the program were all young and poor, I didn't see any middle class Mothers and Fathers.

Young men rarely get council accomodation and if they live with their partners (Marriage isn't the norm anymore)their partners suffer financially so it's all done off the book.

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