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Wife Swap

53 replies

magicfarawaytree · 03/10/2005 22:11

Anybody else gobsmacked by the bitch who said of the sahm during the swop thats her first days work in 15 years. ARRRRGGGGH!

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Original poster
magicfarawaytree · 03/10/2005 22:47

Bet the too laid back family are horrified by what their daughters behaviour looks like. not having a go at the girl - things always look worse in the cold hard light of day. I had a v strict stepfather no sitting on furniture, no playing whilst in the house, mess, we all had chores, no fun and all it has done is give me little respect for authority, as it did nothing for my esteem being told I was useless etc.

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hunkerpumpkin · 03/10/2005 22:49

There you are, Lockets

bosscat · 03/10/2005 22:50

I thought the SAHM was completely hostile and defensive actually. Not one bit of me warmed to her and I am a SAHM and completely expected to identify with her. She was way too defensive for someone who truly is happy with her way of life. How dare she say the other mum was "not a good mum". How judgemental was that? I HATED they way they dismissed the other parents need to work and the way they forced them to justify how hard it is to be an immigrant and have to work hard. So Tim nice but dim earns as much as they do put together, well lucky old him eh, he can afford to keep his wife at home and patronise others. His wife thought her bloody face would crack if she smiled, can't see where all her "fun" came in at all.

QueenOfQuotes · 03/10/2005 22:55

but saying that she's being 'exploited' is assuming that she's getting nothing out of it.

We nearly had a family friend of DH's over to stay with us when DS1 was little. We wouldn't have been able to pay her much - but would have payed for her to go out to the cinema, do a course at college, have a drink with any friends she made etc etc. In return she'd have helped look after DS1 and help with the cleaning - in order for me to go and work.

In the end we didn't as DH managed to get a new job that payed more.

However, had she come she'd have actually been doing something (which she wanted to do) rather than sitting at home doing nothing at all.

bemybaby · 03/10/2005 22:56

Totally agree with bosscat. How dare she say other woman was a bad mum? Just very different surely?

bosscat · 03/10/2005 22:57

oh and while I'm at it the way the SAHM said "cop out" when the other mum said she wasn't any good at drawing. Utter bollocks! I'm a SAHM and I'm crap at drawing too. I heard Nigella Lawson say on Radio 4 once how she didn't do creative stuff with her kids. She said "I do cuddles and cooking but I'm crap at creativity" and I totally identified with that. Think SAHM in wife swap could do with putting her smugness in check slightly. can't see what on earth she's got to be smug about when her 6 year old swears like a navvy.

QueenOfQuotes · 03/10/2005 22:58

oh yes - that was awful - reminded me of when SAHM/Working Mum's threads on here go somewhat "haywire".

Incredibly rude of her to judge like that.

Did anyone else feel somewhat suprised when the 13yr old was told to "tidy her room" before being allowed out? From what we saw of it, yes there were piles of things around the edges - but there seemed to be masses of floor space that was clear. If my DS's keep their room looking even vaguely like that as teenagers I'll be very happy

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magicfarawaytree · 03/10/2005 22:59

QoQ - i think it just the way the stiff family came across - didnt look much like the we'll do you favour type' thought it was strange to elaborate saying their family has worked for mine for 4 generations. Not that I identified with the spinelss family.

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QueenOfQuotes · 03/10/2005 23:03

I see what you mean - I guess it's a whole cultural thing though.

When we were really flush - well not really LOL - in Zim we employed a maid AND a gardener.

We actually got the gardener first, then he brought his sister along (fresh from the village - no english at all) and asked if she could have a job as a maid. After some discussion we agreed, - but well below the 'minimum' wage. She was happy, he was happy, and we were happy.

She was pg when she left us (had to let her go as the 'flush' period ended) and the chances are her child will probably also grow up doing something similar.

On the other side of the coin, those families who really are flush with money, usually pay their maids, gardeners and cooks well above the recommended wage out there, and quite often the children will grow up and work for the same family afterwards - because they want to!

bosscat · 03/10/2005 23:05

no, I think she was just trying to discipline her and it wasn't about the room at all. I wouldn't think it was acceptable to be sworn at and shouted at either whether they were 13 or 33. What else could she do, the father was no help?

Original poster
magicfarawaytree · 03/10/2005 23:09

it was discipline vs no discipline - personally i prefer boundaries. th emphasis being on being able to develop some level of control / responsibility for actions - but i guess it wouldnt make good telly.

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buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 03/10/2005 23:10

I think it probably is a cultural thing, and what might seem acceptable and normal in context did seem to me to be, well, feudalistic I suppose and made me feel very uncomfortable indeed. not a relationship of equals, but I accept I may just be prejudiced and uncomprehending.
like I say it was really a combination of the f/t live in help and the chippiness that was hardto stomach.
and actually bosscat I think the "I;m not good at drawing" was a cop out - she didn;t like the mess is all

hunkerpumpkin · 03/10/2005 23:10

These programmes are always about extremes. They have to make the ratings to get the advertising revenue.

"Toddler is normally well-behaved but has an occasional small, easily-diverted paddy" doesn't make for good telly...

hunkerpumpkin · 03/10/2005 23:11

Yes, it was a cop-out - at the end she said she'd "sort of" enjoyed drawing with them or words to that effect, but rolled her eyes to suggest she probably hadn't.

Didn't like any of them really.

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 03/10/2005 23:12

I know... I must try to remember:
it's all in the editting
it's all in the editting
it's all in the editting...
I hate it that I am so easily influenced by these things and so bloody riled

QueenOfQuotes · 03/10/2005 23:12

I don't do 'messy' creative play in my house either - hate the mess afterwards - even cooking in the kitchen with DS1 is pushing it.

But he does do lots of drawing and 'non messy' creative stuff

CountessDracula · 03/10/2005 23:12

I thought they were all tossers. Not a warm or loving bone amongst the lot of them.

CountessDracula · 03/10/2005 23:13

Neither couple seemed that pleased to see each other at the end

hunkerpumpkin · 03/10/2005 23:13

Although I think it would be quite refreshing to see TV that was just ordinary children bobbing about the place, occasionally getting cross with things, but learning loads and laughing a lot.

Or I could just watch DS

bosscat · 03/10/2005 23:20

it may well have been a cop out, maybe she doesn't like playing with her kids not everyone does but I thought it was so rude of the SAHM to say it the way she did. She had asked a question "what do you do" which in itself was quite rude and further quizzed "do you draw with them" and having been answered made a sarky comment. Just found her to be rude and judgemental. Would only ever comment like that in my head and certainly not on telly!

hunkerpumpkin · 03/10/2005 23:21

Oh, yes BC - she was rude! Definitely!

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 03/10/2005 23:22

boscat you are clearly too nice a person for reality tv. as are we all

bosscat · 03/10/2005 23:27

snort! pmsl

fsmail · 04/10/2005 20:47

The maid thing is difficult for people to understand but I also a family who moved to Ghana who had people asking to be the maid and in the end the mother relented. It was as much them doing the maid a favor as the other way around so it is cultural. Did you see the 'maid' cry when the woman came back incidentally. she could not have hated her that much. I actually thought the other family were rather rude, especially when the father said 'I probably work less hours than you and earn more money' aren't we the clever one then and he also called the woman Ayatulla (can't spell it). Sorry did not warm to the stay at home family and thought they never carried anything through with the girl. Having said that would not be too happy if someone called my child, a spoilt little girl. Where do they get their families from?

melissasmummy · 05/10/2005 13:21

Didn't see the actual wife swap programme, but caught the Aftermath. I was spitting fire at the TV when the woman said that!

Each to their own, but I don't feel the need to berate those who don't chose to do what I do (SAHM) so I wouldn't expect them to do it to me!