Big Chezza: "Reet yuz knoo why we's all heah leyke. Seymon's givven uz a list of tha songs we can doo fer the Christmas Noomber Woon single leyke, which yuz is gonna get aftuh we fixes it for yuz ter win, haway and shite."
Little Chezza: "Roit. Do anyone really care 'bout the fuckin' Number One at Crimbo any more loike, look you? 'smore 'bout goin' out gettin' pissed innit, safe, sorted, innit?"
Big Chezza: "Shurrup yoo. Ah'll have yuz knoo ah had a Noomber Woon at Christmas with the Gurls Are Loud with the Sounds of the Fookin' Undergroonds leyke, in 2002 after that Popstrels The Arrivals what we woon."
Little Chezza: "'Kinell, were that in black an' whoite?"
Big Chezza: "You is a fookin' cheeky little meere an' nooo misteeke. Ah's gonna lamp yuz one if yuz don't shurrup. Now iz yuz gonna sing Meery's Boy Cheyld, When Ah Fall In Loov as doon by that Rick Astleys leyke, oor Woon Mooment In Teyme bey the specktackular Whitnee Houstons?"
Little Chezza: "Oi don't loike the sound on' any of 'em loike. Oi be talkin' to that Will Oi Am in the break on Sundee an' ee says oi should be troo to me roots loike."
Big Chezza: "Reelee? Youz already got me hairdresser's noomber though, man pet."
Little Chezza: "Nah, I mean loike keepin' it street fer tha Malvern Massive ennoi? I gonna do In The Muthafuckin' Bleak Midwinter."
Big Chezza: [sighs] "Ah'd bettuh phone Seymon. Ah think we may have a problem leyke pet."
Little Chezza: "An' then oi thought oi moight loike seamlessly sed- seg- go into Say What You Want by the Wu-Tang Clan halfway through innit? Oi is a hip-hop arrrrtist ennoi?"
Big Chezza: [head in hands] "Bring Rebe'ca in, would yuz? Tell 'er yes, ah doan givva shite, she can do Ferry Cross The Fookin' Mersey after all."