Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How to get on child’s iPhone without password or deleting the photos?

42 replies

SullysBabyMama · 11/07/2023 12:52

My 13 year old daughter confided in me that she has taken and sent indecent photos on Snapchat.
She had a history of this and police/school/family support worker became involved recently when I begged them all for help.
She doesn’t usually have a phone but every 6 months or so I attempt to wean her onto a small amount of phone usage in the hope she is mature enough now to realise how dangerous and inappropriate it is.
The school and family support worker are very much of the attitude that this is a silly mistake and she’s learned her lesson, however much I tell them she has been doing this type of thing for years, literally on the sofa next to me, this was on a family camping trip away so must have been in the toilets/changing rooms as we stayed in a tent! Different boys.
In order to show the family support worker and school that she has done it again, since they have been involved and beg them not to close the case and leave us be without any help or support I really need to get onto her iPhone or Snapchat app so I can show them/say I have actually them.
She has changed the password to the phone and I cannot guess it or force her to open it. I have contacted Apple who can reset the phone but that will delete the photos. Her phone is not backed up on the family iCloud.
I have tried to log into Snapchat using her phone number, email address and Apple ID email address and they all say no account is registered with those details.
I am hoping someone knows a way to hack onto the phone or Snapchat app?
Or knows more about tech than me, maybe I am missing another way.

OP posts:
Original poster
SullysBabyMama · 11/07/2023 19:16

I actually think the GP may be a good idea, I’m sure they would also have a duty to safeguard. I’m at the point of trying to get as many people involved as possible to get her some help.
I know teenagers are complicated and I probably worry about her more than others as her parent, but everyone on this thread has agreed with me that she is acting unsafe and clearly has self-esteem issues, so it’s madness to me that professionals are trying to write it off as not concerning enough for any action.

OP posts:
Rollergirl11 · 11/07/2023 19:27

How is she in other aspects of her life OP? Does she seem happy? Does she have friends? How is she doing at school? How are her relationship with you her parents and any siblings? Is there anything that you can think of that would have caused her trauma or to have low self esteem?

Original poster
SullysBabyMama · 11/07/2023 20:27

I suspect the cause is a court “battle” between her father and me the year before she started high school.
We had been separated her whole life and he would sometimes have regular contact and sometimes go a year or 18 months without any contact at all.
We ended up in court as he met a new partner with a child of her own, and wanted my daughter to be part of their family, I encouraged this genuinely.
However after a few months of fairly regular contact I began to notice her saying things like “My Dad says my school shoes are horrible and I should be allowed Lelly Kelly shoes” and lots of other remarks putting down her clothing, hair, hygiene. Interesting he said these were too “posh” and not that they were scruffy. He is scruffy unfortunately. I naturally counter argued with the odd remark that it was up to Dad if he only wanted to brush his teeth once a day but in our house we brush our teeth twice a day as that’s healthiest for our teeth etc.
After a few months of this he stormed off and didn’t see her for 6 months but did file for “full custody”.
At the first court date I got a live-in order and school were able to say they had no concerns on my parenting, social services not been involved so looked good.
He was not allowed any contact not even in-direct for 3 or 4 hearings so 18 months with no contact.
Eventually he was allowed a daytime Saturday. He continues to badmouth me constantly and by poxy most aspects of my daughters life. She is well aware I dislike him but I tend to stick to the court order of not bad mouthing him as I know how awful it must be for her.
Sorry that’s extremely bias, I’m sure I have a part in her struggles also but it’s the only “big” thing in her life.

OP posts:
eggsbenedict23 · 12/07/2023 12:17

You can't. It cost the FBI 1 million dollars to get into an iPhone in 2016.

Apple devices are very strongly encrypted.

eggsbenedict23 · 12/07/2023 12:18

Law enforcement now using something called a graykey (just googled this). Only police get this and it costs them £30k.

fizzypop100 · 12/07/2023 18:55

Put QustodioApp on her phone. It shows all photos , messages, social media. Everything. And if she doesn't want that then she's not allowed a phone. The app can't be deleted by the child

fizzypop100 · 12/07/2023 18:59

With the Snapchat. Get her phone when she's asleep. Go to "forgotten password" in the Snapchat settings and change the password to something you can remember. A security text message will appear. Delete it once you have the access code.
Log onto her Snapchat on your phone and you can look at the account whenever you want..Your phone will remember the login details so you have constant access.

Rollergirl11 · 12/07/2023 19:20

fizzypop100 · 12/07/2023 18:59

With the Snapchat. Get her phone when she's asleep. Go to "forgotten password" in the Snapchat settings and change the password to something you can remember. A security text message will appear. Delete it once you have the access code.
Log onto her Snapchat on your phone and you can look at the account whenever you want..Your phone will remember the login details so you have constant access.

This won’t work a) because OP doesn’t know the passcode for her DD’s phone so can’t even get to the Snapchat app and b) you can only log in to Snapchat on one device at a time so as soon as OP logs in on her phone it will log out DD on her phone and as soon as DD logs back in on her phone it will log OP out on hers. So not constant access and it will be obvious to DD that someone keeps accessing her account.

Jellycats4life · 13/07/2023 18:46

eggsbenedict23 · 12/07/2023 12:17

You can't. It cost the FBI 1 million dollars to get into an iPhone in 2016.

Apple devices are very strongly encrypted.

Well the police forces featured on the BBC’s “The Real CSI” (great show btw, recommend it) usually make pretty short work of it, so either technology has come on a lot since 2016, or there was a bit more to that story than cracking a password and a few Snapchat images.

I realise that’s not too helpful to you OP, because I doubt you’d have a case to hand the phone over to the police. Unless you have reason to believe she’s been groomed by an older man and is sending nudes to adults?

eggsbenedict23 · 13/07/2023 18:48

Jellycats4life · 13/07/2023 18:46

Well the police forces featured on the BBC’s “The Real CSI” (great show btw, recommend it) usually make pretty short work of it, so either technology has come on a lot since 2016, or there was a bit more to that story than cracking a password and a few Snapchat images.

I realise that’s not too helpful to you OP, because I doubt you’d have a case to hand the phone over to the police. Unless you have reason to believe she’s been groomed by an older man and is sending nudes to adults?

Show quote history

As I mentioned before there's a device called a GrayKey. It does something where it can brute force the password and bypasses the apple time out limit.

But it's only for law enforcement. OP can't get in

fizzypop100 · 14/07/2023 00:22

Rollergirl11 · 12/07/2023 19:20

This won’t work a) because OP doesn’t know the passcode for her DD’s phone so can’t even get to the Snapchat app and b) you can only log in to Snapchat on one device at a time so as soon as OP logs in on her phone it will log out DD on her phone and as soon as DD logs back in on her phone it will log OP out on hers. So not constant access and it will be obvious to DD that someone keeps accessing her account.

Show quote history

I'm logged into my child's Snapchat account and he's logged into it on his phone. It works !

fizzypop100 · 14/07/2023 00:23

There is also MSpy. Easy to install.
I would demand the password or confiscate the phone at that age

Rollergirl11 · 14/07/2023 10:36

@fizzypop100 hmmmm, are you sure your DC isn’t using a different Snapchat account on his phone? Allowing only one account per device is literally one of their security features.

https://screenrant.com/snapchat-log-in-two-devices-explained/

Can You Be Logged In To Snapchat On Two Devices?

Does Snapchat allow multi-device logins?

https://screenrant.com/snapchat-log-in-two-devices-explained/

wishmyhousetidy · 14/07/2023 18:29

Take the phone off her and do not listen to the support worker on this single issue. We were advised to give a phone back to our teen by Camhs, despite the fact what was happening on it was making her ill. Some children are ok with social media and others cannot handle it (ours couldn’t). Snapchat is dangerous to some teens, particularly those with low self esteem and poor emotional regulation. Good luck

Original poster
SullysBabyMama · 14/07/2023 20:27

I have tried to log into the Snapchat on my own phone, I was thinking when she set up the Snapchat she may have used her original password as she wasn’t expecting me to know she had it installed. However I tried her phone number, school email address, personal email address and Apple email address and all say there is no Snapchat account linked to it.
I suspect she has used a friends phone number or email as in the past she used her own phone number for tiktok for her friend.
I gave up trying after everyone letting me know there would likely not be any “evidence” on there any longer to find anyway.

OP posts:
fizzypop100 · 15/07/2023 17:32

Im logged in his Snapchat account on my phone and can see chats happening in real time. Try it. It works for me !

fizzypop100 · 15/07/2023 17:33

Rollergirl11 · 14/07/2023 10:36

@fizzypop100 hmmmm, are you sure your DC isn’t using a different Snapchat account on his phone? Allowing only one account per device is literally one of their security features.

https://screenrant.com/snapchat-log-in-two-devices-explained/

Yes I can see chatting in real time. Try it

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread