12 year old and PS3

[cakeandwine]

My DS is nearly 13 and all he wants in the world is a PS3. He has saved up for it so could buy one himself, or we could contribute as birthday present but I really really don't want him to get one. He is eldest of three by 10 years, so almost like only child and worry it will just isolate him, sitting in his room playing it, as its not practical to play in our living room with babies etc. I just don't know if I am being unreasonable. Does anyone's DC have one at 12/13yrs? How do you monitor play? Am I being unreasonable to say he can't have it, I just feel like I may have lost touch with reality and don't know how to parent a teenager.

I would let him have one ..As he gets older he will need his own space from the younger ones

Let him have one....you can limit the play to certain hours, dependant on homework etc.It is a great reward for good behaviour and a good tool for bargaining. My DS uses his Xbox to chat with friends whilst they all watch the same film together in their respective bedrooms...quite weird when you think about it

Thanks for you replies. I think you both maybe right, I just didn't want to get him something that made him more isolated from the family.

DS(13) has an xbox and he's allowed a certain amount of time on in after homework and at the weekend. We hear him laughing his head off talking to his friends on it! If I thought he was on his own on it too much I'd just insist on a bit of family time. DS is the youngest of 3 and I think he likes to escape from his older sisters and get a bit of peace and quiet

I would let him. Yes, being isolated is a point, but tbh reading Victorian novels (which my 13yo does obsessively) has exactly the same effect and is much harder to ration. I think you have to accept that they do need their own speace at that age. And they have to accept that sometimes their families need to see them. Compromise works well with this age group ime.

I think the fact that he is 10 years older than his siblings is already isolating so personally I would try and show him that you realise he is in a different place and allow the PS3. Yes, a Wii would be a family friendly console but that's not what your son wants, he wants the one that most boys his age are playing.

My three kids range from 7-17 so I sympathise with trying to keep all ages happy. Our PS3 is in the family room so ironically it drags the eldest out of his pit but we are lucky in that we have plenty of other rooms for the others to be in so they aren't watching it.

I'd definitely let him have one. It's normal imo for them to start to detach from the family at that age anyway, so as long as he's not spending the whole weekend on it I can't see the harm.

Is he able to do normal 13 year old stuff, ie meeting friends in town on Sats for cinema, having friends round to his house etc?

I would also let him have one, but don't let him have it in his bedroom. That really would be letting him isolate himself. My son has an XBox and doesn't use it obssessively, but does use it to communicate with his friends (you have to pay £40 a year for XBox Live, but I think it's free with PS3).

I wouldn't advocate a Wii as the perception with teenage boys is that they are for families, not teenage boys!

Thank you everyone, I feel like I have been mean saying he can't have one (and it is PS3 he wants and nothing else!!)I think I shall have to capitulate but with ground rules.

Yes let him get one. He'll probably want to spend time in his room on his own soon anyway. Because that's the normal thing for Teenagers todo,they need space away from thier family.