What would cause this??

[GypsyMoth]

DD is almost 14. always been a little strong willed/argumentative and just hard work. since she was 2 i guess. but she's also kind,caring and likes to get involved. she's not a girly girl...loves adventures etc..

however,roughly 6 weeks ago she changed completely. alot more shouty,rough and saying what she thinks with no regard for others feelings. being rude about teachers. not caring what i thought. she also began to be in trouble in school. she has been on red card report in school for 3 weeks with little improvement....head of year called me in and asked what i thought was going on with her. she had no previous trouble in school til this point.

all i could offer was that she had recently started her periods. this is all i could think of. but her behaviour doesnt coincide with her cycle in any way.

head of year frightened me by mentioning bi polar illness. dd herself has now recognised she has a problem,as have her friends. her friends have mentioned adhd which she has googled,and now thinks she has!!

any ideas?

I would open up a conversation to see if she is willing to visit the doctor about it. Seem to remember the age of competence is 14 so she will have to agree to it. If it's anything other than normal teenage hormones you can find out rather than a teacher giving a diagnosis.

14 next month eve....she's got 4 siblings,and she's really upsetting both them,and me too. she said some nasty,nasty things yesterday. true venom.

and she's started taking risks with the 2 year old.....just pushing him harder on the swings than necessary,dragging him a bit,teasing him....all things that could point at jealousy,but why now??

Resentful about having to 'grow up' and resentful for having to have periods?

could be lucie....she's always been in such a rush to grow up,and was delighted she started periods before her older sister,or so i thought!

What an utter tool to suggest bipolar, unless he is indeed a qualified doctor. Did HOY suggest this in front of your daughter?

To be honest hormones can account for a lot - personally i have never had PMT, but my mother's personality completely changes with it. DD inherited that, as soon as she started her periods she would have episodes where she would act completely differently. Her periods were very heavy also, in the end she went on the pill which has made a huge difference to her life.

It is totally unprofessional of the teacher to have done that, it is quite shocking really. However, please go and speak to a synmpathetic doctor. It could very well be purely hormonal.

yes getorf....i hadnt realised how unproffesional untill i mentioned it here! no,dd wasnt in the room at the time,she was called in later.

i trusted him when he said it is something he has seen/noticed at this age,i really should have pushed him for further clarification,but my only concern was for dd.

pmt....no me neither,had crossed my mind,but her period is over now,and she is still the same.

lots of helpful suggestions from everyone here. thanks.

For maybe 4 or more months either side of starting her periods, my daughter was a complete nightmare - cheeky, rude, nasty comments, mood sings, slamming doors etc. She's completely back to normal now so I can only assume it was hormonal. I also put her on the pill and think that might have helped.

its roughly 3 months since her first period now.....will see what docs say,but i really am worried

DD was terrible in the run up to starting. She was also a young starter so I wasn't sure it was hormonal, duh! Must admit she chilled out once they started but she has PMT and the day before she starts she turns into a monster.

However, from what you say this does sounds something more, hope you can get to the bottom of it. Could it be she is crying out for attention, not accusing you of not giving it btw, I would recommend trying to get some counselling sessions. It's a horrible time for some teens. We went down that route in early teens, I've been lucky since as mine has been very well behaved but then I still worried she was too good iyswim. At 16 now she is coming out of her shell and starting to enjoy her age. My teens were a very different experience and I didn't start acting normal until 18.

I agree with others it is probably just teenage hormaones kicking in.