This is linked to my thread about chores, also started today, and to my other threads previously about DS1.
To cut a long story short, he is 13, year 8. It has come to light that his school work is appalling and, mortifyingly for us, he is rude and arrogant to teachers.
We had him put on report and there was some improvement, altho a long way to go.
He had end of year exams and we were very pleased with how he revised (with some pressure from us). I decided to reward him for this and told him we were proud of the work he had put in and said we would treat him to the cinema if he wanted to go with some friends.
He happily accepted and later asked if he could have a sleepover that night. His behaviour had been much better so we agreed.
I gave him a tenner for the cinema, plus bus fare home and dropped him in town. I specifically said that the money was only for cinema and if he and his friends decided not to go, it was not his to spend (I said this as I know that un less I specifically cover everything he must not do, he will do it and claim he didn't realise!!)
Whilst he was out I went to sign his homework diary and found a detention slip from the day before which he had deliberately not told me about as he knew I would cancel the sleepover. I called him and realised he was in the arcades, not the cinema. He insisted he had already been - it was a few hours later as they were also going to go swimming, which is free. I attempted to cancel the sleepover but he insisted that his friend did not have a key and his parent had gone to work. I didn't entirely believe him but could not prove otherwise.
I questioned about the cinema and he insisted they had been, his friend looked most uncomfortable and I suspected he was lying.
We all watched the footie and I provided dinner etc for his friends. I had also bought doritos etc and gave them with strict instructions that they were not to be eaten in his newly decorated bedroom.
The next morning I found that the doritos had been eaten in the bedroom.
Once the friends had gone I also quizzed him on the cinema nd he admitted they hadn't been and he had basically spent my money on crap, sweets, fizzy drinks etc. When I got cross he said 'well it was my money to enjoy myself, so I did'.
When questioned on the doritos he just said 'well were were hungry'.
He really doesn't think he's done wrong and seems to think rules only apply until they don't suit him, then he can do as he pleases.
Due to all this I grounded him for a week and took his xbox away, as this has been linked to school behaviour. He will also have to pay back the £10 when he gets his pocket money. During this he called me a fucking bitch under his breath - something I never thought he would dare do. At this point I marched him to his room as I was not sure I could controol myself.
He is now grounded for a month, no phone, xbox, pc for the same period. Grounding also includes no friends round.
The thing is he is genuinely shocked that I am so cross about the money, even though I todl him it was for cinema only - and also the doritos thing.
The detention he knew he was in big trouble for and also the swearing. We're 5 days in a and the punishemnts are hurting now.
So did I do it right and would you have done the same?