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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Reasonable pocket money for 17 year old girl

45 replies

Steppy · 15/06/2010 21:43

My 17 yr old sd boards for 5 days a week and lives at her mums for the rest of the time. She visits us (her father, stepmum and step brother and sister a few times a year but has not stayed with us for 7 years.
We pay the school fees and her mum £3600 for her 'keep' during the holidays. Is this enough? She comes on holiday with us for one week at Christmas. She is a lovely bright girl.
Recently she asked her father for more pocket money. We asked her to write down what she was getting.
This is what we found out.
She spends between £320 and £370 per month on toiletries, perfume, going out and make up. We presume her mum pays for hair, clothes, eyebrow tints etc etc!! Her mum says she spends £14,000 a year on her.
We find this amount extraordinary. Are we behind the times?
We have a 14 yr old son who gets £25.
As our 17 year old will be going to university next can anyone give us an idea of what our budgte should be for her as we will be paying.
All suggestions appreciated!!

OP posts:
OhYouBadBadKitten · 15/06/2010 21:47

have times changed that much? At 17 I earned my own pocket money with a saturday job.

PortiaNovmerriment · 15/06/2010 21:47

I suggest that I move in with you please.

Habbibu · 15/06/2010 21:49

Good god! I'm with kitten - I'd had a job for 3 years by then. Her university budget should cover rent, food, utility bills, books etc. If she wants eyebrow tints she can get a job.

colditz · 15/06/2010 21:49

you say NO.

She may be lovely and bright, but she is also incredibly spoilt, and that's not a good thing.

She spends nearly the same on fripperies as I earn in a month!

IMoveTheStars · 15/06/2010 21:49

bloody hell.

At 17 I got my child benefit, and topped it up with a Saturday job. Seemed like a fortune at the time

ABitTipsy · 15/06/2010 21:50

That's mad! I have got no ideas about uni budgets but surely she should get a part time job to pay for her eyebrow tints etc?

I had a part time job from around age 14 and pretty much paid for all my clothes etc myself from wages. I don't you are doing her any favours by just handing over wads of cash.

brimfull · 15/06/2010 21:52

wtf
she is spoiled
she needs to earn her money not be given it
dd has earned her own money since 14

moaningminniewhingesagain · 15/06/2010 21:52

At 17 I bought my own fags make up and crap with earnings from part time jobs.

She has a cushy number by the sounds of it, I would not be considering an increase in pocket money, but might pass on the address of the jobcentre if she is still wanting more cash

BecauseImWorthIt · 15/06/2010 21:52

My 17 yo DS gets £100 a month from us.

On top of that, we pay for his rail ticket to get him to college, and he gets the change from the £20 a week to pay for his lunches. (That's around £8 for the whole week so not very much)

He's expected to pay for his own phone credit and his clothes out of his £100.

ronshar · 15/06/2010 21:53

The only pocket money a 17 year old should get in the kind that gets paid straight into a bank account at the end of the month. Following a months worth of hard work. Like the rest of the adult world!!!
Pocket money. Good grief.

AnyFucker · 15/06/2010 21:54

please will you adopt me ????

LynetteScavo · 15/06/2010 21:55

If she's boarding she won't be able to get a part time job.

Although When I was boarding during 6th form, I did get a part time job during the summer holiday, but what else do you do with 8 weeks when you don't know anyone where you are?

I think a university budget is very different from a 6th former, so it's hard to say.

What on earth does your 14 year old spend £25 a week on?

biglips · 15/06/2010 21:55

i am totally flabbergasted!!! !!!!! I wish she was my mum so i can be spoilt rotten to the bone

PortiaNovmerriment · 15/06/2010 21:56

I was there first Anyfucker

brimfull · 15/06/2010 21:56

she only boards during the week though
she could get a sat job couldn't she?

Original poster
Steppy · 15/06/2010 21:58

Thanks guys

I kind of knew that it was a huge amount but just wanted to check I wasn't being evil stepmum before making any judgement.

We have no control over how much her mum gives her but I suppose we can just say we think she's getting enough already and leave it at that.

Obviously our son knows he will never get that amount which seems very tough on him but we know life isn't fair.

OP posts:
fishie · 15/06/2010 22:01

i got £25 pm 25 years ago, including clothes and shoes and everything. i also earned.

Original poster
Steppy · 15/06/2010 22:03

Hi Lynettescavo - my husband loves you by the way -on telly anyway

He has just walked in says our son gets £15 a month not £25 - no wonder he's fed up!

OP posts:
Original poster
Steppy · 15/06/2010 22:07

Hello Anyfucker

Would love to adopt you darling but you would need to change your name first sweetheart as we have children in the house.

OP posts:
Original poster
Steppy · 15/06/2010 22:12

Ggirl = she can't get Saturday job as she has school on Saturdays.

To be honest she has worked during the holidays so has had even more money.

Come to think of it I really need to go and talk to my husband about this

Excuse me ladies - I may be a while

OP posts:
ronshar · 15/06/2010 22:14

Good luck!

GoEngland · 15/06/2010 22:14

We worked out a budget for our DD to include all transport costs, all lunch costs, all entertainment and clothing, books etc and we give this to her every month to manage.
I pay for her haircut 4 times a year, school uniform and educational trips plus basic toiletries if they come from Tesco.
She gets £300 per month.

AnyFucker · 15/06/2010 22:21

LOL Steppy...I have children in my house too

piprabbit · 15/06/2010 22:24

At 17 I had a Saturday job and my parents paid me 'my' share of the child benefit each month.

They paid for anything education related, uniform, school books, trips etc. the rest was up to me to spend as I saw fit.

I still remember the day they sat me down and explained their idea, outlined how I would need to budget etc. made me feel very responsible and grown-up.

The idea carried on through uni - they paid my hall fees etc. and gave me a small budget for food and daily living expenses (in the days before tuition fees and when some of my friends had full grants). I used my savings from working through my gap year to cover all my social expenses. I left uni having had a very good time, with no savings but a lot of memories.

mumblechum · 15/06/2010 23:19

It doesn't do the dsd any good to not teach her how to manage a budget.

My ds gets a fairly generous budget but is saving to go to the States on his own in summer & to do that does q a bit of babysitting.

Today one of his friends suggested they had a whipround for another friend's birthday. 6 of them each to contribute £50 to buy him a £300 bass. DS told him no (obv.), as he has very tight budgetary constraints.

WTF? Whatever happened to a tenner in a birthday card IF there was a party?

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