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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Give me some perspective please - DD (16.5) wants to go on the pill. WWYD?

37 replies

SmellsLikeTeenSweat · 06/06/2010 16:48

Her father would hit the roof if I told him. Anyway, she & her bf have been together almost two years, amazingly, and have been 'intimate' I think for around 18 months. (I found a condom in her room)

He's a nice lad, they seem devoted to each other, she says that her mates without bf are out on the pull all the time. All well & good, we had a few Talks & she seemed happy.

But twice now she's asked me if she can go on the Pill, presumably to make things easier/less hassle.

The logic part of my brain says Yes, but my heart says NOOOOOooooooo! Pretend this isn't happening!

What do you reckon?

OP posts:

LucyDeSpiderman · 07/06/2010 08:40

I will echo what others have said, and say you are lucky to have a daughter sensible enough to ask. When I was 17 & started having sex we used condoms, as I was too scared to ask my Mum or Dad (was living with my Dad but still v.close to my Mum) to take me to go on the pill. When I finally plucked up the courage to ask my Mum, we went & just before they gave me the pill (it was all packed into the bag & ready for me to take home) they did a pregnancy test. It was positive. Now, I wouldn't change ds for the world, but if I were you I'd book an appointment, like, now!!

foreverastudent · 07/06/2010 08:52

Given the threads on here about condoms not working I'd say look for additional options asap. But why the pill? Wouldn't the implant be better at her age? It's not like she's wanting to try foor a baby anytime soon is it? Or depo-provera? At least these have fewer hormones than the combined pill.

MySweetPrince · 07/06/2010 12:36

Sounds like you and your daughter have a really good relationship and I'd say she sounds very sensible to be looking at other options than Condoms, But just to warn you that when my DD went on the pill at 17it really messed her up mentally - wnt from happy-go-lucky laid back teenager to moody and tearful at certain times of the month. It put her relationship under pressure as neither herself nor b/f knew why she felt like this.Luckily very good GP recognised synptoms and took her off pill - she has implants now as is fine.

Original poster

SmellsLikeTeenSweat · 08/06/2010 15:39

LucyDeS Golly, I'd better get on the phone pronto!

I had wondered whethr the Pill is the right choice, knowing that you're limited to a cetian number of years on it. I said that to her, and she said 'Well it's not like I'm going to be on it when I'm 26 is it?' Er... no idea what she meant! (Too ancient for sex? Happily married and permanently pg?!)

But will have to ask the doctor.

Thanks for all your support, ladies.
MySweetP it affected me too, made me feel 'not with it'. I didn't realise until I came off it. I suppose you have to try different types to find what suits. But I don't think I'd notice the difference if it made her grumpy . She is sweetness & light one moment & angry with the whole world the next, part of the Teen job description.

OP posts:

frakkit · 09/06/2010 17:07

TBH I'd say she needs to really talk over all the options with her doctor.

A progesterone only pill (not great for slightly feckless teens!), implant or injection may be a better bet.

What does she plan to do for contraception at 26? Ask her. She probably hasn't thought that far ahead. Point out that the average age to become a mother for the first time is higher than that (I think)...

GardenersDelight · 09/06/2010 21:06

It is hard My DD2 16 went on the pill 3 months ago after I suggested she go to the Drs, had been with bf(nearly 18) for 6 months and was spending occasional nights at his house.
She wouldnt let me go with her but i felt it was for the best whilst also not wanting to encourage her into having sex- Still dont know if they have, but have said i'm always here to talk if she wants to

SoupDragon · 09/06/2010 21:12

I wonder if the implant would be better too - she can't forget it. I'd also be worried bout the STI side of not using condoms.

LadyLapsang · 10/06/2010 18:57

She sounds like a sensible young woman. I think if she is old enough to have a committed relationship then she is old enough to go to the GP or family planning clinic alone or with her boyfriend (unless she asks you to attend with her) and get confidential advice.

Regarding whether they carry on a belt and braces approach (condom / pill) surely that's up to them. If neither of them have had another sexual partner or they get checked for STIs and remain faithful & your daughter takes the pill properly then it is a very effective form of contraception.

cassann46 · 19/06/2010 21:09

Hi My DD admitted to me that she had begun a 'proper relationship' with her bf just before her 17th birthday, at the time she was not on the pill but had used a condom, i took her to the GP and she began the pill, however it was too late as she was already pregnant!! Yes we are dealing with it now and looking forwrd to the baby in just a months time now, but in answer to your question my daughter and her bf took a chance and got caught, therefore please encourage her to go on the pill, my dd is glad she kept the baby but knows things will be hard, she is sat next to me whilst i write this and agrees your dd should go on the pill and of course use a condom to protect against STD.

she discovered she was pregnant

WellMeantHellBent · 19/06/2010 21:16

I'd go for the implant too, I took my sister at 17 as I knew she was rubbish at remembering to take her pill and she was to scared to talk to my mum. The family planning clinic will be able to discuss the different options, but implant is a once every three years thing and can be forgotten about.

You have done well raising a daughter that is able to talk to you about sex at such a young age

rose1927 · 21/06/2010 10:39

Put her on it and make sure she stays on it my just 17 year old has just told me she is pregnant as she ran out of the pill.

stickydate65 · 22/06/2010 10:30

I would say lucky you that your DD feels she can talk to you. I have a great relationship with my 15 1/2 year old and we have conversations regularly about relationships and sex. I keep telling her that whatever she says to me I won't get emabarassed even though I am often cringing inside!!
This appears at the moment to have paid off. She went on the pill about 6 months ago not for contraceptive purposes but to deal with very irregular periods. She has recently met the 'love of her life'. I was slightly anxious as he's 18 that the sex issue would be aproblem and that because she's on the pill she would feel it gave her the green light to go ahead and start having sex. So far my worries are unfounded, he's a super kid, very respectful of her and us and DD has assured me they have discussed having a sexual relationship and they have both agreed to wait until she is 16! I am as happy as I can be that being open has made her think sensibly about this and comfortable to discuss this with him. I have always told her that if she can't discuss sex and contraception with a boy then they are not ready to have sex! If they are still together when she is 16 I guess it's much better to be having sex in a loving stable relationship than sleeping around all over the place.

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